Lolipops Posted August 25, 2011 Posted August 25, 2011 So I met this guy a little over a month ago - he is 35 and I am 31. We have oppostite schedules as I am a teacher and he is military and works the night shift. We began texting, hanging out at his place, and with his friends. I have spent the night (no sex) just heavy making out. He has been great about respecting my boundries and the chemistry is amazing. He is really sweet, we have had awesome conversations, and he seems to be really into me. I did ask him if this was a FWB situation and he assured me it wasn't. But, we have not been out on a date (I'm not sure if this is work schedule thing or more)! I have dated lots since my last LTR, but I haven't been this interested in a man in a long time . I am so lost and confused. I hate playing dating games and I would rather lay my cards on the table and be honest about what I want. But, then you run the high risk of scaring him off and I dont want to scare him off. UGH! My problem is two-fold. We have had daily communtication either by text, phone, or in person(texts - initiated by him) until he went on vacation to see his sons 2 and 1/2 weeks ago. I finally sent him a text 6 days into his vacation that basically said that I hoped he was having a great time and that I would love to see him when he got back. He texted right back, and said ok he would call. So I didnt expect to hear from him again. Well then a few days later he sent me a text and we ended up texting for 5 hours straight, this included some sexting (which Im now not so comfortable with). The next day, he sent more texts and a good night text which i missed because I was sleeping. So then I sent him a good morning text and he replied. Then I sent a funny text and we ended up texted for awhile. If we are playing by the rules then its his turn, and I have been letting him initiate the texts for the most part. He comes back on Friday, and as of now we have no plans to see each other. Although, curiously I don't doubt that he will call. So- What does this all mean? Is he interested? Is it a FWB or More? How do I get him to go out on a date without asking him. UGH! I feel like a silly teenager. I so don't want to act like it. I am normally confident, but this has thrown me for a loop. What is my next move? Thanks!
patagonia Posted August 25, 2011 Posted August 25, 2011 I say see if he wants to grab a drink or dinner in the near future. If you don't ask and put it off, you are just putting off an inevitable 'no' or 'yes'. Don't wait for it! If you 'scare' him off, I don't see the big deal. You will find someone else that won't get scared off just my opinion. Gotta go for what you want these days.
Mr. Slim Posted August 25, 2011 Posted August 25, 2011 Your "next move" should be to remember that it's only been a month and to relax. Plus it's only been a month and it sounds like he's been gone for most of it. Wait to see what happens when he comes back. It sounds like he treats you nice and you really like him. Don't manufacture a problem out of thin air.
Ayla Posted August 25, 2011 Posted August 25, 2011 IMO a FWB doesn't have daily contact. It's not as personal, it's more sexting and 'what are you up to? I'm coming over.' type thing. Although it is fresh, it seems to be more than that. I agree with Patagonia, ask him to go for a drink, dinner or coffee. I think FWB would be less inclined to do things in public or with other friends. It's more of a 'behind closed doors' thing. Take it easy, and don't stress, although I know that it is easier said than done!
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