deeminor Posted August 25, 2011 Posted August 25, 2011 Recently broke a three months nc with my ex (we've been apart for quite some time and kept in contact). Messaged her through fb to let her know of something. I kept it brief since seeing her status as "in a relationship". She responded within the hour and says she is glad to hear from me. I vaguely mentioned the status in the initial message, but she didn't mention it in her response. The messages have moved to texting. Over the next few days, we kept in contact through fb and noticed her relationship status was taken down or hidden (we are not friended). In our converstations, she mentioned things she's been doing lately; oddly, they are things I do career and hobby-wise that she took no interest in while we were together. I joked and said she's becoming a mini-me. Her response was simply "uh oh!". Currently, I'm bonding with a nice girl and we're hitting it off well, but not sure how far it will go since she has plans to move elsewhere on her own, which disappoints me. I haven't told the ex about this. Have always wanted my ex back since the breakup felt unjustified. The main question is, has this happened to anyone before? Is she doing this to remind herself of me, and a hidden way to let me know she's thinking of me? Is she regretting kicking me to the curb? It's kind of bizarre.
jordjones Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 First off, you sound like a nice guy that didn't do anything too badly to warrant the dumping. If that's a correct assumption, I'm a similar guy - never cheated before - and I find that exes always value me a lot months down the road, as if they learned something from me. In about half of cases, the exes wanted a second chance, in the other half, they didn't. But if you are really into this girl, just avoid the friend zone...that's your best shot. She knows you're a great guy already, and if that's what she craves in the future, she will find a way of letting you know. They always do. So my advice is to be cordial, but hold up a firm recognizable barrier, if you still have hopes of getting back together someday. If you don't care, then be her friend.
blakjak Posted August 27, 2011 Posted August 27, 2011 hmmm tough call. dnt talk to her AT ALL for 2 months and post your progess on here
Author deeminor Posted August 27, 2011 Author Posted August 27, 2011 Thanks for the replies. I broke 2-3 months of NC. So, have already done that part. Jord- That's exactly how it was. Was good to this girl, we had our differences as in all relationships, but she got tired of it somewhere. Maybe she got the case of 'don't know why I broke up with him'. That seems to happen quite a bit. I know it's human nature to use a favorite person as sort of a 'blueprint' to a future mate; and when things don't work out, it's back to what's familiar and the comfort zone. It seems she's following my lead in a lot of things, and that had me wondering. I'm just feeling her out, being myself, and seeing where this is going. Was just wondering others' experiences.
Sunny-side-up Posted August 27, 2011 Posted August 27, 2011 Deeminor, actually, I've done this myself. I remember dating a guy who liked Bob Marley (I couldn't stand him) then, after we split, I bought a Bob Marley albumn.... not because I wanted to be close to the ex, just because some of his stuff had grown on me.... actually, at the time, my ex used to throw him down my throat.... i think thats why I had such a disliking for him... because I was told I should like him! No idea why it happens... but it does.
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