bluenightowl Posted August 24, 2011 Posted August 24, 2011 What if you were dating someone whom you think is likely to move on and date someone else or is really unsure or what they want, which often means they are not into you. Would you wait for them to move on, or just break things off.
funnyface Posted August 25, 2011 Posted August 25, 2011 I have been through this TWICE before. Both times, the guy basically did EVERYTHING possible to tell me/let me know that they do not want to be with me, or are not able to be with me anymore, besides actually SAY "I want to break up". (I have recently been through it the second time ). First time, we dated for a year, things seemed great (in retrospect, I can see how they weren't really), then BAM... at the end of a normal, one hour phone call, he says "So um..Where do you see this going?" I say, "What do you mean?", to which he replied how he doesn't feel like he loves me, he doesn't see himself with me, he never sees things working out, his feelings aren't there. He, however, did not say, "I want to break up", "I think we should end things". This left me to scream at him, cry my eyes out for a day.... I was so heartbroken, yet so delusional that I DID NOT want to break up! My friends begged me to... and I did. I had no choice, because he was a coward. Even though I was not the one who wanted it. This time, things were great (but this time, actually really, really wonderful. no warning signs). Then, he started getting homesick, depressed, stopping saying I love you, stopped talking to me, stopped calling and texting. I begged and asked if it was me, he kept saying no.... hell, I practically begged him to break up with me if that was what it was about, but he did not! He was well aware that he was not treating me well, and constantly apologized, but did not want to break up. He stopped talking to me for 2 full weeks. Not a word. So... I ended things. I knew it wasn't even close to a relationship anymore. It is VERY PAINFUL to be forced into a position where you must end things yourself. So why did I do it? Because it was more painful to stay. And because I wanted to keep some of my pride. I was the bigger person, and both times, I was very civil, but made it clear that I don't deserve to be treated that way. So... in my opinion.... if someone makes it clear that they no longer want to be with you, but are basically stringing you along, or are too afraid to break up, stand up for yourself. Its very hard, but you'll feel better about it later on.
rafeal Posted August 25, 2011 Posted August 25, 2011 That's a hard situation, I recently went through it myself. There were alot of mixed signals then it ended. I got some good advice that you can repair a relationship by asking open ended questions and getting more information about what is going on. It was to late for my relationship, maybe you can open up communication and see what the problem really is. If you can't move on.
Author bluenightowl Posted August 25, 2011 Author Posted August 25, 2011 What if you were dating someone whom you think is likely to move on and date someone else or is really unsure or what they want, which often means they are not into you. Would you wait for them to move on, or just break things off. Thanks for the feedback. And of course waiting for them to move on includes that small possibility that they won't'.
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