Coupedriver Posted August 24, 2011 Posted August 24, 2011 I starting surfing around the net last night after another night of limited sleep..( WOW,a WHOLE 40 minutes..) and found this site I had been to before BUT never really starting reading the articles....I did find one article though that kinda caught my eye....anyone interested check it out.. web site is torontosnumber1datedoctor.com..in the SEARCH box type in 6 psychological reasons people use no contact.Comments are always helpful...
WindWhisperer Posted August 25, 2011 Posted August 25, 2011 Thanx for the link. I read some interesting articles. Especially on how to contact your ex. Very different to the predominant opinion here and somethings I agreed with and some I did not. I couldn't find the 6 reasons why people follow the no contact rule even though it popped up in the search. It would just take me to another article. Reason I say I agree with some aspects is that I really think it depends on the situation. Where some are similar everyone is different. Different things were said to different people. And I'm trying to decide which would be best for my situation since we still both love each other but hit a rough patch. Some thinking will habve to be done
radiodarcy Posted August 25, 2011 Posted August 25, 2011 yeah - - that's why i stay away from those sites. i prefer the prevailing notion on this site that NC should not be used as a game to get your ex back but to help you heal. i'm not at all crazy about manipulation tactics to get an ex back. if they want you out of their life they want you out of their life. that's it. the more psychological games you play the more you push that person away. and more importantly, the longer you delay the healing process for yourself. besides, even if you do get that person back. how long is that going to last? those tactics may work for the short term, but i'm not so sure how well they would work for a healthy, long term relationship. and honestly if you have to relay on such tactics in the first place, how healthy is that relationship?
just_scott Posted August 25, 2011 Posted August 25, 2011 personally i think n.c. is definatly a kind of game , a game of wills , a power struggle to see who will be first to contact and both parties may want to BUT noone wants to be the first. n.c. doesn't do anything to help erase a memory of someone or things you've done together IT really just stops the other person from having the last word,or sop an argument [ if the dumpee is bitter] and so you don't deal with hearing how the other person has moved on and might be in a relationship while the other is still depressd over the break up n.c. is more of an avoidance kindof a tool [if that's what you call it a tool ] cause not hearing from an ex they say helps you heal and helps you admit the fact a relationship has ended, BUT if you hear from the other person and their telling you the relationship is over and you're not being together with them as you were in the past ,you're still going to accept you're not in a relationship anyways even if it takes longer right ? i still get contacted by my ex and i'm having fun with it she tries to start an argument calls to see what i'm up to etc . BUT she was the dumper it's totally over between us forever but i get a kick when she calls she'll start raising her voice , or cursing i just laugh [frustrates her] she tells me yea and i'm trying to make a point and you laugh i just say hey you eneded the relationship ,theirs nothing in your life that intrests me don't care if your doing good ,or bad your in a reationship or not the past is the past one time i carred deeply ,now i'd rater clean my dishes then wonder about you
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