shayla Posted August 25, 2011 Posted August 25, 2011 Originally Posted by Buttercup84 But I wonder : Are they like this just with us or will they be the same with a new person ? I can only hope that he stays that way and I find someone much better. These men don't feel they did anything wrong! Everything is your fault, never theirs! So no they will not change for the next woman. She will get the same rude awakening that you did. Up to her if she wants to live miserably or get dumped when the next flavor of the month comes along. And the case of a compulsive liar? they aren't able to stop lying, even if they wanted to. It's become part of their personality. The biggest lie of all is that they are such nice guys....that is rarely true.
radiodarcy Posted August 25, 2011 Posted August 25, 2011 (edited) - he told me how much he hated being lied to but he would conveniently leave out pieces of information when it suited him. newsflash, *********: a lie of omission is *still* a lie - criticized the way i dressed, told me my interests were boring, my pets were a waste of time - - all of this was done under the guise of "self-improvement" tips. mind you in the beginning he told me all of the above were what drew him to me in the first place which brings me to the next on the list... - mixed signals!argh :mad::mad::mad: -constantly talking about how hot other girls are. i have no problem with a man recognizing a beautiful woman but under the face of so much criticism it didn't help to hear it. - he's extremely shallow - he's a total hypocrite and to heart of phoenix's point what disgusts me about myself is that i (stupidly) thought i could change him and that i lacked the incentive to build up my self-esteem to leave before he ditched me Edited August 25, 2011 by radiodarcy
fauxleather Posted August 25, 2011 Posted August 25, 2011 1. Chose to gave up on me and our relationship even though I presented a very sincere apology, admitting all my mistakes and asking for another chance. 2. Told me that she "wouldn't get into another relationship so soon" and would only get into a relationship with someone she "knew for a year". Guess what? Not even 2 months after we broke up, got hitched with a guy she barely knew for 2 months. Good riddance and good luck to the rebound.
Kageytn Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 Here's my list: 1. Controlling 2. Critical 3. Criticized my house keeping skills and my parenting skills 4. Has mommy issues. We dated 4 years and I never met them. He said it would just be too painful for him 5. Commitphobe. Can't even own a goldfish 6. Never wanted me to further myself-just be dependent on him 7. Hates his job but refuses to change it 8. Controlled our sex life-always when he wanted it 9. His inability to tell me how he really felt then blaming me for manipulating him 10. Constant hedging 11. Emotional coward 12. Constant texting even when we were together 13. Never letting me in fully 14. Having expectations he never told me about 15. Going to therapy but still not being truthful 16. Breaking up with me two days before a family vacation my kids were looking forward to 17. Being scared of intimacy 18. Hating me hairy when he looked like a werewolf. I'll wax if you wax your neck and shoulders! I'm almost over him. So close!
Author CopingGal Posted September 2, 2011 Author Posted September 2, 2011 I forgot childish. Gee, how in the world could I have forgotten that? a chameleon fake heart is 2 sizes too small no empathy
Author CopingGal Posted September 2, 2011 Author Posted September 2, 2011 Good post, it really helps moving on when you list the reasons you are better off without your ex. Although,... when you are done listing reasons why you are disgusted with your ex, make a list of the reasons you are disgusted or disappointed with yourself. After you've made the list about yourself start doing things in order to fix what you listed. This post is good for knocking the ex off the pedestal, but you can't change or improve them... only yourself. Yes. In fact in one of the self-help books, it asked me to list the mistakes I made in the relationship and I did. I have to improve on myself too and not over-reacting. I'm working on myself so I can better a better person and a partner. However, things he did to me were egregious. I'm glad he's out of my life.
Author CopingGal Posted September 2, 2011 Author Posted September 2, 2011 But I wonder : Are they like this just with us or will they be the same with a new person ? I can only hope that he stays that way and I find someone much better. Buttercup, my ex used to complain to me about how his this woman broke up with him once a month when she was his gf. I thought this was terrible. I thought she was a terrible person. He used to complain about his ex-wife--how mean she was to him and called him Peter Pan because she thought he was so immature. After being with him for a long time, I began to see why these woman treated him so badly and they reacted to the way he treated them. I think he treated these women badly. When he found a woman who made the relationship about him and did everything to please him, he cheated on her. Now he says he's changed. He's in a new relationship. He says he's a different man...maybe he has changed some things, but at his core he's still a ridiculous jack-ass.
Buttercup84 Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 Sounds like my ex too , said his ex treated him badly , left him three times because she was unhappy . I thought too that she was horrible . Now I wonset if she saw what I saw ?
Stncldgent Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 She is a lying, cheating........ k I gotta keep it pg, but no everything that I ever believed about her was a lie, She lived her life as one lie after another, I fell for her trap and got hurt in the end. My hatred for her grows daily, I never thought I would feel absolute hatred for someone like I do now.
FeelingSmall Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 - Was stoned 24/7 - Could not get along with ANYONE for longer than a week - Would give me the silent treatment EVERY time he was angry - Blamed his mother for everything bad in his life (At 32) - Got physical with me (and probably others) on more than one occasion - Spent roughly 12 hrs a day EVERY day playing video games - Would talk for hours about dungeons & dragons (gag) Ugh I could go on, but what would be the point...
D-Lish Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 My ex invited to me to watch his ball hockey game(s) when we started dating. He ran like a girl- almost pranced actually. Not an endearing quality:p
FeelingSmall Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 Oh wait, one more - probably the thing I hate the most. He wouldn't apologise for ANYTHING. He would always say I'm sorry but with the thickest most insincere and sarcastic tone I have ever heard in my entire life. Thinking about it makes me start to grind my teeth.
without Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 -he left me. -he left me. -he left me. -he said he loves me truly and only me. -he didn't warn me before leaving me.until the last minute i didn't know. -he had sex with many people. -after that i have doubts on being true or false of his every word. -he only liked anal. -he knew i would be hurt but still did it. -he hated marriage. -he was always sad about something.
HeavenOrHell Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 My ex doesn't disgust me, we're still good friends and always will be, our r/ship didn't end because either of us cheated or were nasty, more that we grew apart in some ways. I've known him for over 20 years. One ex years ago turned out to be nasty, I learnt a lot from that, and never again Sorry for those of you whose ex's turned out to be b*stards
Dasaso Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 -he has low self esteem -insecure -his family is antisocial and weird -he dresses horrible and clothe doesn't fit. -his head is big -exasperated during fights -had no friends -see people bad things -drama "king" -fat -doesn't get over bad things that happen -no dignity -stingy -never understood it was my first long term and formal relationship -didn't give me space -to sensible ... and i can go on and on
Dasaso Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 (edited) how do i delete? Edited September 3, 2011 by Dasaso
magnus mateo Posted September 4, 2011 Posted September 4, 2011 - compulsive liar - fake - superficial - easily influenced by others - no boundaries - horrible communication skills - hypocrite - low self-esteem - jealous - drama queen - no remorse
RodG Posted September 4, 2011 Posted September 4, 2011 (edited) -Dumped me over text (together almost three years, lived together) -No empathy -Still talked of marriage two weeks before ending it, two weeks!! -Ignores me -Utterly and totally self-centered and completely selfish -Hypocrite -No communication -Would get upset and jealous when I would text a friend, or talk to a friend -Told her she was my best friend, spent ALL my time with her as she took me away from my true friends and I was very lucky to not lose them altogether -She never, ever showed any kind of encouragement towards me, only thought of how things I would do would affect her -Overall a disgusting person that is overweight, would always eat crap food and never wanted to do anything, that I can't believe I wasted my time with Edited September 4, 2011 by RodG
Author CopingGal Posted September 8, 2011 Author Posted September 8, 2011 One more thing: an all round bastard
sleepykitten Posted September 8, 2011 Posted September 8, 2011 Emotionally retarded Mummys boy still lives at home at 36 and can afford to move out! Mum does all his washing ironing, strips and washes his bedding Has no backbone Has no self awareness Thinks by saying "sorry" in a teeth clenched eye rolling way is a sincere apology Breaks promises Cant spend anytime on his own at all evn used to have to fall asleep when on his own with a film on the lap top Skinny arms Used to do a "little boy" laugh sometimes Snored-loudly-always had a smelly head couldnt cook Is totally deluded when asked what do you want "to be happy like in the movies" No dreams or ambitions except "be happy like in the movies" Liar-to himself and me Insecure-needs to have his ego stroked at all times Total man child Bad with money Didnt see the point in going for a walk on a lovely spring day or any day Could sleep all day Always "shattered" Always "really really busy" Would emotionally shut down when faced with any issues or problems in our relationship that he was accountable for and literally couldnt speak I did wonder when he changed after our first yr if he had had some kind of blow to the head, i even asked!! Cocky Arrogant Prick
sleepykitten Posted September 8, 2011 Posted September 8, 2011 Wow, that does help, I feel so much better.
kennykjtan Posted September 8, 2011 Posted September 8, 2011 No matter what. It still hurts. The more you talk about it, the more you will feel the pain. Be wise. Forget it.
LilThalie Posted September 8, 2011 Posted September 8, 2011 - he says it's weird that I remember the beginning of our relationship so clearly, yet he himself remembers every detail - he cannot fight properly, he never defends himself - he does not know what he wants - he always does a billion things at a time - he cannot decide between activities, so it's first tennis, then soccer and then biking, then squash - he overthinks everything and anything - he thinks too much about future and not enough about the present - he's looking for guarantees in love where there aren't any - he had the nerve to say he never wanted to hurt me - he's so insecure, he doesn't even know how to react when he sees me - he says the end of a relationship is not the end of the world, insisting he does not care, then he cannot refrain from sending me four-word-messages every couple of weeks
Sugarkane Posted September 8, 2011 Posted September 8, 2011 Dumped me by text after 1 year: - How completely callous he is - Superioty complex - Arrogant - Selfish - Jumps from woman to woman - Always the dumper - Liar - Major hypocrite - A complete utter coward - Two faced - no remorse - No conscience at all - Highly likely a cheater
Sugarkane Posted September 8, 2011 Posted September 8, 2011 -Had to insult me in public, just so he could feel better about himself
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