That_girl Posted August 24, 2011 Posted August 24, 2011 I rejected a guy I like for sex, after I had already had sex with him on this second date. I told him that I honestly wasn't that type of girl, and while I didn't regret the sex, I don't want to do it again because I'm not into casual sex. Things got a little awkward, see previous post here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t293365/ Anyway, I thought he would never wanna see me again because he kinda alluded to the fact that he's only into sex for the time being. But he called, and wanted to hang out the next day. I thought it was kinda weird, but he said he understands where I'm coming from and respects that. And that he likes me. My question is: Is he lying? We did make out that night, but that's it. And he did seem cool with it....but I still kinda feel like maybe he is still trying to get into my pants because he knows its just a matter of time before I crack again. I really like him, how will I know if he actually likes me?
somedude81 Posted August 25, 2011 Posted August 25, 2011 My question is: Is he lying?No, but he thinks you are. You had sex with him on the second date then said you're not that type of girl. Uh, you are That girl. There is no real way to know if he likes you or not, because you already had sex. My suggestion, just do what you want and have fun. But don't waste time and energy playing games.
Feelsgoodman Posted August 25, 2011 Posted August 25, 2011 You had sex with him on the second date then said you're not that type of girl. Uh, you are That girl. lol...that's what I was thinking too.
Author That_girl Posted August 25, 2011 Author Posted August 25, 2011 I've only been with guys that I've had relationships with, I'm 26 years old...I was bound to do something like this at one point another Clearly he probably thinks I'm the type of girl that'll just sleep with a guy I barely know, but its not like that...I slipped and it only happened once. I have a right to say 'no' now even though I've slept with him before. I just don't want him to think that because I've already slept with him, that I'll continue to sleep with him outside of a relationship. I feel like everyone on this board and in general seems to think that if you give it up too easily or too quickly, that the guy will never actually be interested in you. So I'm questioning why he'd still wanna see me if he knows I'm no longer down for the casual sex. He might actually be into me, but I'm just really worried that he thinks I'm going to change my mind and sleep with him, no strings attached.
Sanman Posted August 25, 2011 Posted August 25, 2011 The only real way to figure it out now is to run with it and risk getting hurt. As others have mentioned, you are that type of girl because you did do it. A lot of women say and do things that are completely different. Many a man can have an active sex life without a relationship by simply dating 'not that type' of girls. My question is whether you are healthy enough for a relationship regardless of his intentions.
Author That_girl Posted August 25, 2011 Author Posted August 25, 2011 Why do you ask that Sanman? I was in an emotionally abusive about 5 months, but I was 'healthy' enough to realize that it's not what I want or what I deserve. I know a lot of people that aren't healthy or strong enough to make that decision.
bluenightowl Posted August 25, 2011 Posted August 25, 2011 I rejected a guy I like for sex, after I had already had sex with him on this second date. I told him that I honestly wasn't that type of girl, and while I didn't regret the sex, I don't want to do it again because I'm not into casual sex. Things got a little awkward, see previous post here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t293365/ Anyway, I thought he would never wanna see me again because he kinda alluded to the fact that he's only into sex for the time being. But he called, and wanted to hang out the next day. I thought it was kinda weird, but he said he understands where I'm coming from and respects that. And that he likes me. My question is: Is he lying? We did make out that night, but that's it. And he did seem cool with it....but I still kinda feel like maybe he is still trying to get into my pants because he knows its just a matter of time before I crack again. I really like him, how will I know if he actually likes me? I don't get why you rejected him. Why not see if he is seeing anyone else and if not, then head on a path to a relationship. That happens all the time. You like him and he likes you. I wouldn't worry too much that you had sex on the second date. What's irks me is people that have sex on the second date and then continue to date other people.
sm1tten Posted August 25, 2011 Posted August 25, 2011 Is he lying? Maybe. how will I know if he actually likes me? It's not just a question of whether he likes you, but also, does he respect your boundaries. And the only way to find this out is to continue seeing him.
Sanman Posted August 25, 2011 Posted August 25, 2011 Why do you ask that Sanman? I was in an emotionally abusive about 5 months, but I was 'healthy' enough to realize that it's not what I want or what I deserve. I know a lot of people that aren't healthy or strong enough to make that decision. Because you clearly slept with a guy after a second date when you didn't really want to. Before he can respect your boundaries you need to do so. I know that you put your foot down the after that, but all you really did was confuse the hell out the guy because sometimes no means yes and sometimes it really means no. Figure out what you want out of this and have the confidence in yourself to stick to that rather than giving in to what men want out of you.
Recommended Posts