simpsonic Posted August 24, 2011 Posted August 24, 2011 Many of my friends have told me things like "If I could do it over again" or even "I wish we'd never met" after breaking up with someone. As for my past experiences, sure, I would've loved to be able to do some things over, but the past is the past...I have treated them as a learning experience and have grown a lot as a person as a result. Now I know what to do (and what not to do) in my next relationship, whenever that may be! Lessons I've learned: - Just because someone likes you doesn't mean they want a relationship with you - Don't sleep with someone until you've established exclusivity - Don't do all the chasing, which can also be: - Don't act needy or clingy!!!! - Someone who genuinely likes you will move over mountains for you...they would not make lame excuses* - If the other person doesn't show interest in being exclusive after dating for several months, move on What have you learned from your past relationships?
Feelsgoodman Posted August 24, 2011 Posted August 24, 2011 What have you learned from your past relationships? - If a girl doesn't at least offer to pay for herself on dates, she is not LTR material (this one is kind of obvious, I suppose) - If a girl makes a big fuss about wanting to be treated "like a lady" (i.e. you opening doors, pulling out chairs, always picking her up in your car, etc.), she is not LTR material (as she will turn out to be a bitch...guaranteed) - If a girl is super outgoing and not shy at all, she is most definitely not LTR material.
FitChick Posted August 24, 2011 Posted August 24, 2011 Never date a man who is separated or divorced for less than two or three years. Ideally,they've had a serious girlfriend during that time before they meet you. Men need time to recover not just emotionally but financially from a divorce. Every divorced man I've dated has told me this so I believe it!
bluenightowl Posted August 24, 2011 Posted August 24, 2011 Many of my friends have told me things like "If I could do it over again" or even "I wish we'd never met" after breaking up with someone. As for my past experiences, sure, I would've loved to be able to do some things over, but the past is the past...I have treated them as a learning experience and have grown a lot as a person as a result. Now I know what to do (and what not to do) in my next relationship, whenever that may be! Lessons I've learned: - Just because someone likes you doesn't mean they want a relationship with you - Don't sleep with someone until you've established exclusivity - Don't do all the chasing, which can also be: - Don't act needy or clingy!!!! - Someone who genuinely likes you will move over mountains for you...they would not make lame excuses* - If the other person doesn't show interest in being exclusive after dating for several months, move on What have you learned from your past relationships? All excellent. Also and this is very general, take things slowly in the sense of taking your time to get to know them as a person. Don't treat someone special who treats you like an option - note when dating multi-daters.
Holt Driver Posted August 25, 2011 Posted August 25, 2011 - The person you date is the person you'll marry. Meaning, everything that annoys you today is not going away after you get married, and you probably won't get used to it. (For example, if she's sloppy now, count on her being sloppy 5, 10 years from now.) - If there's little sexual compatibility or passion while dating, it's not going to magically appear later on, no matter how great the person is otherwise. - Don't take the relationship for granted. Let her know how much you care for her and love her on a regular basis. - Be prepared to end the relationship if you're unhappy. Or, it's better to be alone than in an unsatisfying relationship. - Make sure each of you has your own interests so you can spend time away from each other and not feel guilty.
Shiny Posted August 25, 2011 Posted August 25, 2011 1. No relationships are easy. There is no such thing as a relationship that is smooth sailing 100% of the time, so stop expecting that. All relationships require work, and obstacles are test of love in that only the most dedicated of couples survive them. 2. Don't Facebook stalk your significant other, especially if you're a jealous or insecure person.
Star Gazer Posted August 25, 2011 Posted August 25, 2011 - If a girl is super outgoing and not shy at all, she is most definitely not LTR material. Well, now I've heard it all. This explains all my dating woes. I'm single because I'm not shy at all. Who would have ever guessed?!? Pffffffft.
torn_curtain Posted August 25, 2011 Posted August 25, 2011 -Don't let all your insecurities hang out (constantly bringing them up) and expect the other person to still love you for you. This is a mistake people often make. -People often say things when they are freshly in love that they don't mean (I'll be with you forever). Not that they lie but take what they say in the first few months with a grain of salt because it could change in an instant. Don't get too attached to their words. -Run if communication is so poor that there is no common ground and you find yourself having to explain to the other person what normal, healthy behavior in a relationship is, and then defending yourself against the rebuttal "well I don't care what OTHER PEOPLE do." -If he's distant from his mother it's a very bad sign. -If a guy responds to the push pull thing run -Love isn't the excitement that comes when you're still imagining who somebody is, because there's no real trust at that stage. Love is a combination of total trust, familiarity and admiration. It feels like home.
somethingsimple Posted August 25, 2011 Posted August 25, 2011 What I learned to look for in other women: -Don't trust, liars. I really hate liars and probably have a really low tolerance for it. -Forget flakes -Communication -Women, who give "tests" How I grown after: -A lot of insecurities have been secured, i.e jealousy, trust, -Communication -Learning to walk away when she's bad for me (Probably make this same mistake again)
petal28 Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 -Don't let all your insecurities hang out (constantly bringing them up) and expect the other person to still love you for you. This is a mistake people often make. -People often say things when they are freshly in love that they don't mean (I'll be with you forever). Not that they lie but take what they say in the first few months with a grain of salt because it could change in an instant. Don't get too attached to their words. -Run if communication is so poor that there is no common ground and you find yourself having to explain to the other person what normal, healthy behavior in a relationship is, and then defending yourself against the rebuttal "well I don't care what OTHER PEOPLE do." -If he's distant from his mother it's a very bad sign. -If a guy responds to the push pull thing run -Love isn't the excitement that comes when you're still imagining who somebody is, because there's no real trust at that stage. Love is a combination of total trust, familiarity and admiration. It feels like home. - Don't disregard red flags - All good r'ships require: communication, respect and trust, at least.
rafallus Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 (edited) -Don't waste your time on hot and cold people. If you have a gut feeling someone isn't into you as much as you'd like to, it probably is the case. -Repay favors with appropriate amount of appreciation. Edited September 17, 2011 by rafallus
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