bofferman Posted August 24, 2011 Posted August 24, 2011 Hi everyone, Me and my ex broke up 3 months ago after living together 4 years roughly. I did all the stupid things you arent supposed to do for awhile, flowers and all. She said she needed space to think about things and got an apartment that I helped her move into. Anyway was NC for about 4 weeks and then last saturday thought I would call out of the blue to see how she was doing. It actually went well since she had a really messed day at work and said that she wanted to call me all day. I think she took this as a sign of some sort. Anyway I was casual let her do all the talking then and ended it with I had something to do and that she should give me a call sometime and we can do lunch. So Sunday night comes and I get a text from her at 1130 at night. she invites me to her place and i said why dont you just come over here. I was hesitant, but did want to see her. I let initiate everything. I played it cool never bringing up the past or if she is seeing someone or where she goes and what she does unless it was relevant to what she was talking about. We chat for awhile then she gets up and gives me a hug crying saying that she needs to know that someone loves her.. referring to me. She tells me how much she loves me and misses me and thinks about me everyday,, which i am skeptical of. We go inside to go to bed. She kisses me and we have sex. Text her the next day to say what a great night. She says thanks for being you .... Which I guess is a good thing. We have a little more talk. and then nothing.. I called her the next day and nothing so i sent a text asking what had changed.. I never brought up getting back together or anything. was not trying to pressure just have fun. has it backfired... feeling a little used at this point because even after 4 weeks of NC I knew deep down that I was not ready for this emotionally and was hesitant.. So I'm back to NC and I guess see what happens. I do love her and would like to date and get her back.. One last thing when we were going to sleep she said you wouldnt do that before and i said before when she said the olden days.. I said I dont remember those days.. trying to let her know that what happened in the past is in the past.. Anyway I know i may of scrambled here a bit just looking for some advice
Author bofferman Posted August 24, 2011 Author Posted August 24, 2011 And after 4 weeks NC I was just starting to feel better and move on with me.. Then the above happend and sat me back a little
ConfusedT Posted August 24, 2011 Posted August 24, 2011 breadcrumbs in the sex form? BUT YES, do NC to heal, however long that may take, and then if things work out, start a "new relationship" with your ex-girlfriend! If not, you will be healed and ready for something new & better! I read somewhere it takes like a few months to a year to heal and even more if you are emotional! *raises hand* Everything happens for a reason and eventually everything will fall into place! Goodluck!
Author bofferman Posted August 26, 2011 Author Posted August 26, 2011 saw her at a mutual friends house last night.. she said that she loves me and misses me all the time but cannot be with me... anybody have any thoughts on this... im pretty sure she is bouncing around with a few guys right now also...
Diatribes Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 Mistake calling her the day after you hooked up. You should have been NC after that for at least a few days, her calling you would have been the best scenario. Seems like she got some hooks in you now. Play it cool. Don't ask her any emotional questions. You'll just push her away.
radiodarcy Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 it sounds like she used you emotionally and sexually. pretty messed up thing to do. stick to NC and don't respond to her anymore if she tries to contact you. at this point she's got you right where she wants you. don't let her. retain your dignity and don't contact her anymore. in doing so you let her know you're not there as her personal ego boost whenever she needs it. if you think she;s bouncing around with other guys she probably is. trust your instincts. look what happened when you went against them and initiated contact that night you two had sex. you deserve better than this.
Author bofferman Posted August 26, 2011 Author Posted August 26, 2011 Thanks this is a huge help.. I forgot one more detail. I wrote her a poem like a month ago and before she left last night I gave it to her because it was for her and i thought now or never right.. she was mad when i gave it to her so of course i didnt think much of it... Today I get a text msg from her that she cant stop reading it... which i dont respond to .... then i get the are you ignoring me text... to which i do not respond.. then about an hour later a phone call. to which i dont answer... to i need to send something back like "im glad you liked it" or do i stick NC and see what happens... and if i stay NC when do i contact or do i
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