cyborgbountyhunter Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 cyborgbountyhunter - love your user name. You sound like a scifi geek like me. So let's get the facts straight - your girlfriend is living in the same house with a guy who has admitted he has a crush on her, he has said he wishes she's single, he is her physical type (you're not), they both share common interests, they spend 8-10 hours a day together, they've hit it off incredibly well and meanwhile you aren't even in physical proximity to them? Um... I would be worried. Why did he admit his feelings to her when he knew she was in a relationship? He had to have a motive for that. Well, I can answer that last question at least. She pushes for things, and he's the kind of person who has to please everyone. She regrets making him tell her now. I am a little worried, but I've recently re-evaluated our relationship and the idea of it ending doesn't bother me anymore. I want to go up there and be face to face with her so we can give it a real try, but if it falls apart I won't shed any tears. If nothing else, she's a way out of the rural ****hole I live in right now.
active_frm Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 mesajınız için teşekkürler. yararlı buldum
keepsmilin74 Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 jjlil, I agree with the replies you've got so far, it's not good, you're right to take action. These are a couple of links you should get your husband to read: http://www.marriagebuilders.com/grap...9_friends.html http://www.cheatingways.com/just-fri...tional-affair/ First thing you can change is from the "policy of undivided attention" at marriagebuilders (http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3350_attn.html) you should be spending way more time together than he spends with anyone else. You could be walking the dogs with him. This is a good book http://www.amazon.com/His-Needs-Her-Building-Affair-Proof/dp/0800719387/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1309315349&sr=1-1 cyborgbountyhunter, he already said he has a crush on her, you should be more than worried! Goodluck!
Author jjlil Posted September 1, 2011 Author Posted September 1, 2011 Thanks for everyones advice on this...there have been further developments in this awful situation. I had a heart to heart with my husband. I was very angry and upset. He seemed quite surprised and said he would cut contact with her. I was doubtful he would let her down in the way she needed to be told so I asked her if I could speak to her directly, face to face. I told her I thought the friendship was inappropriate and asked for a date/time that we could meet. She turned up unannounced at my house a few minutes later as I was leaving for work . There was a complete denial that anything was going on between them but I got the impression she almost enjoyed the confrontation. She kept saying 'nothing is going on we just have a very very close friendship' It was like she wanted to light a fuse! Anyway the way things stand at the moment...there doesn't appear to have been any further communication. I think my husband was a bit worried about the fact she had come to our house. He wasn't expecting her to do that. I will now just have to sit tight on this and see what happens. jjlil, I agree with the replies you've got so far, it's not good, you're right to take action. These are a couple of links you should get your husband to read: http://www.marriagebuilders.com/grap...9_friends.html http://www.cheatingways.com/just-fri...tional-affair/ First thing you can change is from the "policy of undivided attention" at marriagebuilders (http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3350_attn.html) you should be spending way more time together than he spends with anyone else. You could be walking the dogs with him. This is a good book http://www.amazon.com/His-Needs-Her-Building-Affair-Proof/dp/0800719387/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1309315349&sr=1-1 cyborgbountyhunter, he already said he has a crush on her, you should be more than worried! Goodluck!
sweetypielovely Posted September 1, 2011 Posted September 1, 2011 Wow...what balls on her to show up at your house. Be very careful and dont assume all is well. If they are so close...you really think he will give her up so easily?
cupcakekk Posted September 1, 2011 Posted September 1, 2011 cyborgbountyhunter, i would be worried. is your relationship falling apart? if it is i think you need to break up with her before she does. this happened first hand with me. i was with my ex for five years and i decided to break up with him for his friend. (sounds harsh) but he was a dick! his friend was a much better man and fit all my interests and tastes so much better. she is probably just deciding if she really likes this guy enough to break up with you for him. she might not have cheated. i never did but she will leave you probably. no woman should be hanging out with a man who flat out says he wishes he could be with her. if she honestly isn't interested she is stupid not to realise you are hurt and should cut this friend ship off because this guy is clearly thinking he is next in line.
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