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One subtle red flag for me... They were not 'together' but not separating. They didn't make plans more than about a month or two ahead (i.e. wedding invites or staying with elderly relatives) because they were never sure of what would happen. And then his Christmas present to her (bought way before Christmas) were tickets to something the following May. It was something they'd both always done, bought sports tickets for each other, but when I realised he assumed he'd go with her it really felt very bizarre. Definitely didn't smell good.

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