waliz Posted August 24, 2011 Posted August 24, 2011 I can't move out for ten days and every day I fall for his nice gestures-all intending to make him feel like he's not the pig he is. I'm so mad and sad. Here's where my mind goes when I let it: I hate the feeling of being dumped Why didn't I dump him first when he told me about the other woman-I hate that he gets the win. It feels better to dump someone and move out (been there, done that) than be dumped and forced out. I hate the thought that some other woman will now get my life where we did fun things, traveled, had money. I hate the thought of him telling all his/my friends his side of the story which will not include his cheating and lying and manipulations I'm afraid I won't have enough money I hate the thought that there is another woman Yes, I have friends that will take away some of the pain, but I'm afraid of being alone with it in my stupid little rented apartment. I want my home back. I cringe at the thought of her someday moving into my home. I'm scared I'll be alone for ever I'm afraid I'll lose my job and have to move into a tiny little apartment and sell my car. I hate that I am starting over again at 48. I' m afraid of sitting in my lonely little apartment. I'm afraid I'll have to settle for some guy who doesn't excite me or turn me on. I want to get a fabulous boyfriend and start dating ASAP just so he'll find out and I will show him. Yes, I know these are feelings that will come and go. Yes I know some are true and some are just feelings and thoughts. But today I have these feelings and they suck and I want it all to stop and go back to what it was (or thought it was)
ConfusedT Posted August 24, 2011 Posted August 24, 2011 i hate the feeling of being dumped to. Why didnt i walk away when he told me he had been cheating on me for the entire relationship? Our EMOTIONS and lack of respect and self-esteem allow us to make decisions with our hearts instead of our heads. Of course you want to be happy with a new boyfriend, but honestly, WE need to be happy ALONE first... & then we can actually be happy with someone else. Just focus on the right now for right now. Focus on getting through it day by day by day and eventually the days will just take care of themselves and hopefully you will too!
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