Mr_D Posted May 4, 2004 Posted May 4, 2004 Hi All ! Please take the time to read - you could improve my life !! I've been dating a girl for almost a year now (11 months to be exact) and she is the best thing that has ever happened to me. It's the first girl i've ever been with and i'm the first bloke she's had (i'm 21 and she's 19). Anyway, with it taking so long for me to get in a relationship (i was nearly 21 before i kissed a girl, and it was this girl !) I have quite low self esteem and low self confidence. Sometimes I can be quite depressed due to these problems. I know I love this girl....I love her alot and she loves me to. I would do anything for her and if it was me or her to take a bullet, it would have to be me. She would be exactly the same. I love to spend time with her and miss her when she is not with me. Lately, I have been quite depressed. Due to this I have started to worry about my relationship. I'm asking myself questions like "How can you tell your in love? you might be imagining it so your not alone" and "What if you just think your in love so your not gonna be alone?" It's very disturbing to think these things over and over when your so sure your in love but after a while, i'm scared i'm going to believe them.....I had this a few months back and got over it but they have come back. It's easier this time because I know I can come through it like i did last time, but i'm paranoid i'm going to go over this every few months for the rest of our relationship. Can minor dpression blur your vision so much ? Should Ii start to beleive what i'm being told ? Or is it all down to a lack of self confidence / esteem which is causing me to doubt and feel insecure about the best thing I have ? Any help would be appreciated no matter how hurtful or blunt. I would especially liek to her from anybody who is or has been in the same position Thanks Mr D.
HokeyReligions Posted May 4, 2004 Posted May 4, 2004 Originally posted by Mr_D Lately, I have been quite depressed. Due to this I have started to worry about my relationship. I'm asking myself questions like "How can you tell your in love? you might be imagining it so your not alone" and "What if you just think your in love so your not gonna be alone?" Why are you depressed? If there is something going on in your life, can you pinpoint it and address it to help get past the depression? Is there someone you can talk to about it? Your doubts about your relationship sound pretty reasonable and normal. We all have those doubts at some point in time. Its part of growing and maturing--especially with a first relationship. Don't stress over those thoughts! Those are normal! Is it perhaps those doubts that is making you feel depressed and not the other way around? It's very disturbing to think these things over and over when your so sure your in love but after a while, i'm scared i'm going to believe them.....I had this a few months back and got over it but they have come back. It's easier this time because I know I can come through it like i did last time, but i'm paranoid i'm going to go over this every few months for the rest of our relationship. Of course its disturbing to have these thoughts. It unsettles most of us when it first happens and it can be very sad. It is something that we all have to ask ourselves sometimes. I've been married over 20 years and periodically we still go over these things. Sometimes its just a reaffirmation process of our love, sometimes things change and we need to make new decisions and examine our priorities and goals and boundaries and make new decisions. That is part of life. Don't be paranoid, be thorough in your communication with her and with yourself. Can minor dpression blur your vision so much ? Should Ii start to beleive what i'm being told ? Or is it all down to a lack of self confidence / esteem which is causing me to doubt and feel insecure about the best thing I have ? Any depression, no matter how minor can have a major impact on all aspects of your life. Have you been diagnosed with chronic or clinical depression? Are you taking any medication? Going to counseling? If not, then see a doctor and get yourself properly diagnosed and treated. I'm not sure what you mean about believing what you are being told. Who is telling you what? You have to look at who is talking, their credentials, and in what context. Friends and family are usually not the best ones to diagnose or prescribe!
Mr D Posted May 5, 2004 Posted May 5, 2004 I'm depressed because I got rid of these thoughts, and they have come back...i'm also depressed due to stress which is being casued by my job. I get to see a councellor on friday and hopefully that will be good for me. It's good to hear that people do wonder, and that they do get over it and it makes me feel a lot better !! when i say i might start listening to what i'm being told....i meant that i might start answering the questions differently to make them go away....obviousley if i did this, it would bring more and more and more questions. Hope you can understand that ! Thanks for the advice !! Mr D
sprightlee Posted May 5, 2004 Posted May 5, 2004 I must tell you, I suffered from "minor" depression during my last relationship, and it was the reason we separated. Now, because I got help, I know how depressed I really was. Please don't let this affect your relationship too.
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