lexnmike4enomore Posted May 4, 2004 Posted May 4, 2004 How do you break off a 2 year relationship easy? My boyfirend and i have a house together, his name not mine. Lately im tired of all his bull**** and his temper. How he twits **** aroud to make me say sorry when i didnt do anything. He has done soooooo much for me and thats why i feel that i cant leave him. Besides i would have to live with god knows who b/c i cant support myself. But i cant take his **** anymore. Or if anyone has any advice on how to make him see that he has problems with how he twists **** up to make it look like my fault. Example: The other night our dog bit me. He was chewing on something and i took it away from him and he bit me. I said that i wanted to give him away b/c he might actually hurt me. Then he said that it was my fault that the dog bit me b/c i was to close to him face and the blah blah blah. So then i said i wanted to get rid of him and got really defensive and then all of a sudden the fight went to im spoiled and i want everything handed to me on a golden platter. How the hell does the dog bite me and then im spoiled? This is what i mean. He twist **** around so i would say im sorry somehow. and this happens alomost evertime i disagree with something or im mad. He cant accept the fact that hes wrong or he dosent agree with why im mad. PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!! one other thing...are there any steroids that dont have the "roid rage"?
morrigan Posted May 4, 2004 Posted May 4, 2004 Do you have enough money saved up to pay for the rent on another apartment/house, or do you have any family or friends that would let you stay with them until you can afford to live on your own? Don't stay with this guy just because of the living situation. It's also unrealistic to expect him to move out, unless your name is on the rental agreement or lease. Being independent means you have to take control of your life--your living situation, your finances, your happiness. It may sound hard, but it's a lot better than putting up with someone who demeans you and makes you feel like you owe him. If you are afraid of physical abuse, seek assistance from a woman's shelter--don't stay in a house where your bf threaten violence against you. You were saying something about steroids--does your bf use them? This could cause mental and physical behaviors and problems for him, especially those that are illegal to use. Pack your things, and tell him that you don't feel the same about the relationship anymore, and that it is best you two stopped seeing eachother. Don't have contact with him until you get your life back in order. As soon as you move out, and don't have to deal with the daily fights, you'll feel it was worth it. Good luck.
lexnmike4enomore Posted May 4, 2004 Posted May 4, 2004 He is taking steroids but he said they are the kind that make you lose weight and that they dont have the side effects of muscle building ones. He said that he wont get "rage" b/c its only to make him lose weight
bluechocolate Posted May 4, 2004 Posted May 4, 2004 The most pertinent question is - is this guy using steroids? I'm far from expert on the matter - but I would say that he is it isn't going to matter one hoot what you say or what advice you're given and "how to see that he has problems". The drugs are screwing with his head & as long as he's using them he won't be able to think straight & he won't be able to control his mood swings.
bluechocolate Posted May 4, 2004 Posted May 4, 2004 ah - so he is using steroids. Under a doctor's supervision?
bluechocolate Posted May 4, 2004 Posted May 4, 2004 Originally posted by lexnmike4e if i say no are you going to tell on me? so he's self-medicating - never a wise thing to do read up on the medication he's taking and ask a doctor about it
morrigan Posted May 4, 2004 Posted May 4, 2004 I doubt the situation will get any better--the steroids can cause emotional problems that will be lashed out on you. It's a drug dependency, and unless he admits he needs help, he will deny that anything is wrong. You don't want to be in this relationship anyway. I'd advise getting out as soon as possible. Don't believe you can somehow save someone from their drug problems.
FreeMe Posted May 4, 2004 Posted May 4, 2004 Even the mild forms of steroids I've heard of - an old boyfriend had been on some, in fact - have side effects that cause mood swings. But what he's doing doesn't particularly sound like it's caused by the steroids - at least the situation you described. My boyfriend does the same crud. He does something wrong or says something wrong and then I get mad and somehow I'm always the one to apologize. It's manipulation. In my opinion, manipulation requires some form of control. The mood swings I've seen caused by steroids are generally NOT controlled. Does he also have a bad temper? Any unusual signs of moodiness or temper could be caused by the steroids.
lexnmike4enomore Posted May 4, 2004 Posted May 4, 2004 He does have a bad temper....a very bad temper...he punches things and throws things. But the thing is..i cant say anything to him.....he dosnet think taht it wil be manipulation. He thinks that this is the way and theonly way. He thinks he is right and theres no changing that. I asked him if this (the fight were haveing now) is b/c of the **** hes taken and he got even more mad ans said that these dont give him those side effects. And i said well i think its happening right now..you just for even more mad and he sai dno hes just mad... but hes mad over trvial ****
FreeMe Posted May 4, 2004 Posted May 4, 2004 how long has he been on the steroids? Sounds like they could be affecting him, but if he had a bad temper before he started using them, it could just be him. I know what you mean about his way is the only way. Sounds like my boyfriend. He thinks he never does anything wrong. It's always me. As far as how you end it is concerned, I think you just have to start making a plan on where you can go and how you can work it out financially. It won't be easy to leave and when he sees you're serious he will probably vow to change and all that. I think though, that it's easier to leave than if it was your place and you had to ask him to leave. A couple of people here have gone through that recently and had a rough time as well.
Believer69 Posted May 5, 2004 Posted May 5, 2004 I hate to stereotype men, BUT, ALL men are really good at changing any situation in order for them to be right. I am always appoligizing for crap! Well, I was. I finally sat down and said, look, Every time I am mad, you turn it around and then your mad at me. Its not fair that I am NEVER allowed just to be mad. I have noticed this trait in most men. As far as steroids, they can make you very irritable, I'm sure you know this. It can get out of hand, so I would watch it. If you want out of the relationship, you have to sit down and tell him why, and don't let him appoligize, etc until you have said EVERYTHING you want or need to. Then let him speak.
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