zengirl Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 Well I'm so used to falling back to ZERO OPTIONS so I wanted to see if I could meet atleast one other girl to confirm I won't hit ZERO no time soon. But we have yet to have a indoor date which is what I'm going to push for soon. I haven't made a move because all of our dates have been out in public. She did lay her head on my shoulder during a free movie on date 4 but that has been the only affection so far. Date 1-Ice Cream Date 2-Water Ice Date 3-Dinner and a Walk Date 4-Dinner and Free Movie-She treated Date 5-Brunch and Walk-We went dutch Date 6 is supposed to be a jazz concert but after that I'm not going to any more dates outside. It will have to be at her place or my place Wait, so you wait ages in between dates and haven't even kissed? I'm so confused, and I bet this girl is too if she likes you (which it sounded before like she did). All my dates with my BF for a month were mostly public dates, though I did invite in once after (to the living room and some espresso only) and he had me over once as well for part of a night -- we went out that night as well -- and even when out, all of our dates except date #1 had some form of physical affection. You can kiss, cuddle, hug, hold hands, and the like in public or as you open her car door or walk her home or whatever. I mean, don't dry hump in public or whatever, but I don't get why it's a big deal to kiss a girl while on a walk. And you're NEVER going to anymore dates outside? I find you and your rules confusing, and not just in this thread. I actually went back to my spreadsheet from 7 years ago to see what the first five dates with my wife were like, for comparisons sake: Date 1 -- dinner, followed by a long walk around the city, I paid ($100) Date 2 -- dinner, followed by a few games of pool, I paid for dinner ($75), she paid for pool ($10-20?) Date 3 -- ordered in sushi and watched a movie at my place, she paid ($25-35?) Date 4 -- dinner, followed by drinks at a lounge and an all-night make-out session at my place, I paid ($260 for dinner, $35 for drinks) Date 5 -- she came over late, all-night make-out session at my place, followed by sex the next morning (no cost) Moral of the story -- man up and show the woman a good time if you want to get laid/married. More money than I'd need a guy to spend, but apparently that's par for the course in NYC. I never dated there. A $260 dinner would weird me out. (That's like a car payment!) But a guy who's obsessing about every cent he spends weirds me out too. and those sound like nice dates, except for the way-too-expensive dinners. P.S. You kept a spreadsheet of your dates?
Author PhillyDude Posted August 26, 2011 Author Posted August 26, 2011 Wait, so you wait ages in between dates and haven't even kissed? I'm so confused, and I bet this girl is too if she likes you (which it sounded before like she did). All my dates with my BF for a month were mostly public dates, though I did invite in once after (to the living room and some espresso only) and he had me over once as well for part of a night -- we went out that night as well -- and even when out, all of our dates except date #1 had some form of physical affection. You can kiss, cuddle, hug, hold hands, and the like in public or as you open her car door or walk her home or whatever. I mean, don't dry hump in public or whatever, but I don't get why it's a big deal to kiss a girl while on a walk. And you're NEVER going to anymore dates outside? I find you and your rules confusing, and not just in this thread. More money than I'd need a guy to spend, but apparently that's par for the course in NYC. I never dated there. A $260 dinner would weird me out. (That's like a car payment!) But a guy who's obsessing about every cent he spends weirds me out too. and those sound like nice dates, except for the way-too-expensive dinners. P.S. You kept a spreadsheet of your dates? I'm shy and just figured out how to make it past the 3rd date for the first time in 11 years. And since I'm shy it's easier for me to go in for a first kiss if Im indoors on the couch.
zengirl Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 I'm shy and just figured out how to make it past the 3rd date for the first time in 11 years. And since I'm shy it's easier for me to go in for a first kiss if Im indoors on the couch. Oh, okay. Well, at least now I understand why you have all these crazy rules for yourself. At any rate, this girl sounds like she likes you, so I say: Just kiss her already! And stop worrying about buying other girls sandwiches because you like THAT girl anyway.
Author PhillyDude Posted August 26, 2011 Author Posted August 26, 2011 Oh, okay. Well, at least now I understand why you have all these crazy rules for yourself. At any rate, this girl sounds like she likes you, so I say: Just kiss her already! And stop worrying about buying other girls sandwiches because you like THAT girl anyway. True, it was confirmed she like me when she treated me to dinner on date 3. She is also shy which makes it harder to end up in situation for making out. The ending of the last two dates inside the car have been arkward because we are both shy. Everything is fine until the end of the date when it's time to end the date
zengirl Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 True, it was confirmed she like me when she treated me to dinner on date 3. She is also shy which makes it harder to end up in situation for making out. The ending of the last two dates inside the car have been arkward because we are both shy. Everything is fine until the end of the date when it's time to end the date You don't have to go straight for making out. Just grab a kiss! You can do it, PD.
nyc_guy2003 Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 More money than I'd need a guy to spend, but apparently that's par for the course in NYC. I never dated there. A $260 dinner would weird me out. (That's like a car payment!) But a guy who's obsessing about every cent he spends weirds me out too. and those sound like nice dates, except for the way-too-expensive dinners. P.S. You kept a spreadsheet of your dates? Yeah those prices are about par for restaurants that are appropriate for dates. $260 is a little high -- that was one of the top restaurants in the city and reasonable for a fourth date -- but usually around $100-150 for two appetizers, two main courses, one or two desserts, and two rounds of drinks each is typical. I don't do Starbucks or McDonald's or any other type of cheap ghetto locales...some people might, but that's not my thing. I keep a spreadsheet of all my revenues and expenses and have done so since I graduated from college. I can tell you my net savings to the penny over the last 10+ years.
Janesays Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 Yeah those prices are about par for restaurants that are appropriate for dates. $260 is a little high -- that was one of the top restaurants in the city and reasonable for a fourth date -- but usually around $100-150 for two appetizers, two main courses, one or two desserts, and two rounds of drinks each is typical. I don't do Starbucks or McDonald's or any other type of cheap ghetto locales...some people might, but that's not my thing. I keep a spreadsheet of all my revenues and expenses and have done so since I graduated from college. I can tell you my net savings to the penny over the last 10+ years. Hot. (I'm referring to the spreadsheet of all your revenues. Financially responsibility turns me on. )
Author PhillyDude Posted August 26, 2011 Author Posted August 26, 2011 I didn't think there was anything wrong with his keeping up the thing he had BEFORE he was laid off (though I cannot imagine how they're only on date 6, as they were on date 4 or something then, and that was a few weeks ago) since he really liked the girl, he told her his situation, and I don't think it's healthy to stop being social just because you got laid off. I was bummed for PD and felt sorry for him 'cause it seemed like he really liked that girl and was worried his being laid off would ruin things. But clearly he doesn't like her THAT much. I multi-date in the beginning, but not once I already know I really like someone. That just seems weird. How do I know that she is not going out with other men? I'm not around her 24/7 so I can't assume she is only going out with me. And since we haven't been intimate yet of course I can't bring it up right now.
zengirl Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 Yeah those prices are about par for restaurants that are appropriate for dates. $260 is a little high -- that was one of the top restaurants in the city and reasonable for a fourth date -- but usually around $100-150 for two appetizers, two main courses, one or two desserts, and two rounds of drinks each is typical. I don't do Starbucks or McDonald's or any other type of cheap ghetto locales...some people might, but that's not my thing. I keep a spreadsheet of all my revenues and expenses and have done so since I graduated from college. I can tell you my net savings to the penny over the last 10+ years. Oh, okay. I thought it was a dating spreadsheet. I keep my expenses in Excel as well. As to restaurants, I don't do chain restaurants very often (big national chains---local chains, I will, like one or two locations locally) and I go to nice places, but a really good dinner/drinks for two still runs you nowhere near that. Nowhere I've lived are those kind of prices typical, except at the really fancy schmancy places, which aren't my cuppa. And I've eaten in NYC many a time, at quality places, that weren't that pricey. But I think it depends on if you like fancy. How do I know that she is not going out with other men? I'm not around her 24/7 so I can't assume she is only going out with me. And since we haven't been intimate yet of course I can't bring it up right now.
zengirl Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 Originally Posted by PhillyDude How do I know that she is not going out with other men? I'm not around her 24/7 so I can't assume she is only going out with me. And since we haven't been intimate yet of course I can't bring it up right now. Why is who she's dating related to how much you like her or what you do? I don't get that. If I really like a guy, I stop seeing others to be true to my feelings and follow them through. I give him the chance to prove to me he feels the same. If he doesn't, life goes on, and I try again, knowing I did the best I could on my part. Anyway, this girl likes you, but it seems like you keep her at arm's length, physically and with the dates (frequency) and such. If you really like her, go for it!
Author PhillyDude Posted August 26, 2011 Author Posted August 26, 2011 Just wait until you finally find a girl who really likes you. Next thing you know she will make you buy her a house, have kids with her, and pay for them too. I empathize with your unemployment, and that girl was a little rude and selfish, but seriously man...12 bucks??? Next time you are with a girl who pulls that stuff just sit down and say "OK I bought you lunch, now you owe me a blow job." Ok I was trying to have money left over for the girl I may go out with tomorrow just in case. So I didn't want to go to the ATM until next week so thinking I was only going to pay for myself I was pissed when I saw the total
D-Lish Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 Just wait until you finally find a girl who really likes you. Next thing you know she will make you buy her a house, have kids with her, and pay for them too. I empathize with your unemployment, and that girl was a little rude and selfish, but seriously man...12 bucks??? Next time you are with a girl who pulls that stuff just sit down and say "OK I bought you lunch, now you owe me a blow job." Nice one, I just spit out my diet pepsi on my laptop:lmao: Welcome to Loveshack.
Spices Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 I think you should be concentrating primarily on finding another job right now rather than being so concerned with dating.
Author PhillyDude Posted August 26, 2011 Author Posted August 26, 2011 I think you should be concentrating primarily on finding another job right now rather than being so concerned with dating. I don't have to look for a job because I will be called back to work in about 3 weeks. Now if that was not the case I would agree with you
nyc_guy2003 Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 Hot. (I'm referring to the spreadsheet of all your revenues. Financially responsibility turns me on. ) Ha, thanks. Funny story about one of my friends who's the exact opposite of me (which makes him similar to phillydude): on his first date with his now-wife, he had all of $15 to his name sitting in his checking account. So he took his date to a decent Italian restaurant and planned on paying with his credit card. The bill turns out to be $75, but the catch is the place didn't accept credit cards and he had no cash on him. Plus he couldn't go to an ATM and withdraw money because he would still have been $60 short. Just before he slapped on an apron and went to the back to wash dishes to pay for his meal, his date stepped up to the plate and paid for the whole thing. I guess he wasn't that similar to phillydude since he wasn't a cheapskate, but he was similarly broke as a joke and still managed to make the magic happen.
nyc_guy2003 Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 Oh, okay. I thought it was a dating spreadsheet. I keep my expenses in Excel as well. As to restaurants, I don't do chain restaurants very often (big national chains---local chains, I will, like one or two locations locally) and I go to nice places, but a really good dinner/drinks for two still runs you nowhere near that. Nowhere I've lived are those kind of prices typical, except at the really fancy schmancy places, which aren't my cuppa. And I've eaten in NYC many a time, at quality places, that weren't that pricey. But I think it depends on if you like fancy. It really depends. Sushi is the most expensive -- get a few pieces of sushi, a couple rolls, and some sake or plum wine at a high quality place and you're already bumping up against $100 for two people. At the other end of the spectrum, there are sit-down burger joints where you can get huge burgers and fries and frozen margaritas the size of your head all for under $30. The most I've ever spent on a meal for two was at Bouley's which ran about $350 all-in and I wasn't even full afterwards. And that doesn't even approach the likes of Per Se or Masa which can get you easily into the four figures.
Hot Chick Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 If you asked her out on a date, then it would be assumed you're paying.....I guess she assumed you're a gentleman but she assumed incorrectly.
Author PhillyDude Posted August 26, 2011 Author Posted August 26, 2011 Ha, thanks. Funny story about one of my friends who's the exact opposite of me (which makes him similar to phillydude): on his first date with his now-wife, he had all of $15 to his name sitting in his checking account. So he took his date to a decent Italian restaurant and planned on paying with his credit card. The bill turns out to be $75, but the catch is the place didn't accept credit cards and he had no cash on him. Plus he couldn't go to an ATM and withdraw money because he would still have been $60 short. Just before he slapped on an apron and went to the back to wash dishes to pay for his meal, his date stepped up to the plate and paid for the whole thing. I guess he wasn't that similar to phillydude since he wasn't a cheapskate, but he was similarly broke as a joke and still managed to make the magic happen. I never said I was broke, the money I spend I wanted to save for another outing for someone I aleady know.
Pierre Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 Dude You should get a steady GF and do cheap dates with her to avoid so many awkward situations. A very cheap outing between a couple is no big deal and there is no pressure to impress the other side.
Author PhillyDude Posted August 26, 2011 Author Posted August 26, 2011 Dude You should get a steady GF and do cheap dates with her to avoid so many awkward situations. A very cheap outing between a couple is no big deal and there is no pressure to impress the other side. I may have one more 1st date coming up and I will defintely stress going dutch before we meet.
Pierre Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 I may have one more 1st date coming up and I will defintely stress going dutch before we meet. The last thing you should be doing is multi dating and spreading all your money among many different women. You will spend a lot of money to spin your wheels. If you put all your efforts on one you may do better.
Author PhillyDude Posted August 26, 2011 Author Posted August 26, 2011 The last thing you should be doing is multi dating and spreading all your money among many different women. You will spend a lot of money to spin your wheels. If you put all your efforts on one you may do better. Right now it's only two women and i have removed my profile online.
daphne Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 Yeah those prices are about par for restaurants that are appropriate for dates. $260 is a little high -- that was one of the top restaurants in the city and reasonable for a fourth date -- but usually around $100-150 for two appetizers, two main courses, one or two desserts, and two rounds of drinks each is typical. I don't do Starbucks or McDonald's or any other type of cheap ghetto locales...some people might, but that's not my thing. I keep a spreadsheet of all my revenues and expenses and have done so since I graduated from college. I can tell you my net savings to the penny over the last 10+ years. I think you're my soulmate.
veggirl Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 I think you're my soulmate. NO WAY would NYCguy be any of these chicks "soulmate" etc if the prices included in his spreadsheet were "$16", "$19 (I had a 2 for 1 coupon)", and so on and so forth. and why get on Philly for not having a lot of cash right now...come on. I guess relationships are only for people with lots of money now?
Cypress25 Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 I may have one more 1st date coming up and I will defintely stress going dutch before we meet. Does this sound obnoxious to you? It sounds obnoxious to me. Seriously. You're such a douchebag, I can't imagine why any woman would even want to go out with you. If a guy asked me out and then stressed going dutch, I would be so turned off I would just cancel the date. To me, that says the guy is focused on the money and not on the girl he's dating. All you can think about is how to get the most dates for the least amount of money. And seeing as how all these dates are with different girls, it's even more sleazy. It works both ways. If I asked a guy out, I would pay for him. When you invite someone out to dinner, that person is basically your guest. It's supposed to be your treat, even if it's just a coffee date. I mean, if you invited people to your house for a dinner party, would you make them pay for their food?
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