PhillyDude Posted August 24, 2011 Posted August 24, 2011 I met a girl tonight for the first time at a cafe that served sandwiches, salads, and pizza. So when we stood up to order i let her go first and order er food and steppped to the side. So after the cashier totaled her order why didn't she tell the girl the final number so she could pay for it? So when it came time for me to order the girl told me the final number and said that will be $25.00. First of all I had only $35.00 in my wallet and expected to spend $15 on my food so I could keep the rest of the money for a possible 6th date on Friday. So I looked at the cashier and didn't want to make a scene and just threw the money at her while the girl back was turned. The fact that I'm unemployed I'm trying to plan my outings carefully and had no intentions on paying for her food. Still trying to figure out why the cashier never asked her to pay after she finished ordering or i don't know if the girl told the cashier "he will pay" So she may have disquaified herself from a second date because she defintely was supposed to have her wallet out when I let her order first. So annoyed right now.
Author PhillyDude Posted August 24, 2011 Author Posted August 24, 2011 lol............... Usually when I step to the side on a first meet and greet, the woman pays for her own food. But could the girl be that dumb to say "he is paying" or just walking away after ordering her food assuming I was going to pay? What if I only clame out tonight with $15.00? And on top of it she knows I don't have a job right now which makes the night even more bizarre
CarrieT Posted August 24, 2011 Posted August 24, 2011 I'm laughing at this too. Completely honest mistake on both the cashier's part, yours, and the girls. First off, the cashier sees two people eating together so there is little reason to assume each is paying for themselves unless the girl pulls out her wallet. Secondly, you asked the girl on the date and because she didn't offer dutch, would assume you were buying (most girls do - especially if you are going to a place where you STAND IN LINE to order food). Chalk it up to experience and don't be too pissed. It is what it is and does little to get pissed about it now.
Author PhillyDude Posted August 24, 2011 Author Posted August 24, 2011 I'm laughing at this too. Completely honest mistake on both the cashier's part, yours, and the girls. First off, the cashier sees two people eating together so there is little reason to assume each is paying for themselves unless the girl pulls out her wallet. Secondly, you asked the girl on the date and because she didn't offer dutch, would assume you were buying (most girls do - especially if you are going to a place where you STAND IN LINE to order food). Chalk it up to experience and don't be too pissed. It is what it is and does little to get pissed about it now. I ,lost control of myself for a minue when I threw the money at the cashier-lol I couldn't believe it. Maybe I should have suggested we go out for ice cream tonight instead of dinner.
Author PhillyDude Posted August 24, 2011 Author Posted August 24, 2011 Lol...why didn't you just tell the cashier casually and calmly that you two were paying separately? Because the girl already walked away so I didn't want to tell the cashier so that she could call the girl back and say-"he said yall was paying for her own food. That would have just made things arkward so that's why I just had a private snapping moment when the girl back was turned.
nyc_guy2003 Posted August 24, 2011 Posted August 24, 2011 I met a girl tonight for the first time at a cafe that served sandwiches, salads, and pizza. So when we stood up to order i let her go first and order er food and steppped to the side. So after the cashier totaled her order why didn't she tell the girl the final number so she could pay for it? So when it came time for me to order the girl told me the final number and said that will be $25.00. First of all I had only $35.00 in my wallet and expected to spend $15 on my food so I could keep the rest of the money for a possible 6th date on Friday. So I looked at the cashier and didn't want to make a scene and just threw the money at her while the girl back was turned. The fact that I'm unemployed I'm trying to plan my outings carefully and had no intentions on paying for her food. Still trying to figure out why the cashier never asked her to pay after she finished ordering or i don't know if the girl told the cashier "he will pay" So she may have disquaified herself from a second date because she defintely was supposed to have her wallet out when I let her order first. So annoyed right now. 10 sentences. 6 begin with "so". Not sure if there's ever been a study done on the correlation between lack of eloquence and lack of dating success.
make me believe Posted August 24, 2011 Posted August 24, 2011 Lol...why didn't you just tell the cashier casually and calmly that you two were paying separately? I think that would have been awkward and made him look bad. Then, what, the cashier has to chase the girl down so she can pay her share?? No.. the OP did the right thing in paying for both of them, but it was still unfair. If it was my first time meeting a guy (I assume you guys met online?) I would not expect him to pay for my meal. ESPECIALLY if I knew that he was unemployed. Philly, if you are meeting girls online I think you should make the first meeting something more casual, like a quick coffee or ice cream. But honestly, I think this girl was really rude to expect you to pay for her meal when for all intents and purposes you are basically a stranger to her.
ChessPieceFace Posted August 24, 2011 Posted August 24, 2011 I met a girl tonight for the first time at a cafe that served sandwiches, salads, and pizza. So when we stood up to order i let her go first and order er food and steppped to the side. So after the cashier totaled her order why didn't she tell the girl the final number so she could pay for it? So when it came time for me to order the girl told me the final number and said that will be $25.00. First of all I had only $35.00 in my wallet and expected to spend $15 on my food so I could keep the rest of the money for a possible 6th date on Friday. But since she stuck you with the bill, you don't need to bother with the next date now, right? Therefore, you saved yourself time and possibly a bit of money too.
phineas Posted August 24, 2011 Posted August 24, 2011 Just out of curiosity, aren't there any side jobs you can do under the table so you can still collect unemployment?
TigerCub Posted August 24, 2011 Posted August 24, 2011 But since she stuck you with the bill, you don't need to bother with the next date now, right? Therefore, you saved yourself time and possibly a bit of money too. haha, oh yeah and what a bill that was! a whole $12.5 PD, I totally agree that the girl should have at least pulled out her wallet (then if you wanted to pay you would have let her know, otherwise she should have paid for herself) There is no point in getting so mad about it now. I understand that you're unemployed, but you should also understand that dating costs money (and most guys DO treat a girl the first few dates at least) If you don't want to be in that awkward position again, do as others suggested and go for coffee, or ice cream or even a nice little walk in the park (that one is totally free!)
sally4sara Posted August 24, 2011 Posted August 24, 2011 I met a girl tonight for the first time at a cafe that served sandwiches, salads, and pizza. So when we stood up to order i let her go first and order er food and steppped to the side. So after the cashier totaled her order why didn't she tell the girl the final number so she could pay for it? So when it came time for me to order the girl told me the final number and said that will be $25.00. First of all I had only $35.00 in my wallet and expected to spend $15 on my food so I could keep the rest of the money for a possible 6th date on Friday. So I looked at the cashier and didn't want to make a scene and just threw the money at her while the girl back was turned. The fact that I'm unemployed I'm trying to plan my outings carefully and had no intentions on paying for her food. Still trying to figure out why the cashier never asked her to pay after she finished ordering or i don't know if the girl told the cashier "he will pay" So she may have disquaified herself from a second date because she defintely was supposed to have her wallet out when I let her order first. So annoyed right now. I have noticed things like this before too pretty often when I go somewhere with a guy. If my husband and I go out, they always put the check next to him. No biggie because our money is in one account so really whether they use the card with my name on it or the one with his name on it its all the same. Still I do notice how often they turned to him with the check. Even last month when I took out a gay male friend of mine for lunch on his bday. I'd invited him - "Its yer bday! Let me buy you lunch" kinda deal. We finish eating and I asked for the check. The male server still put it next to my friend even though I had my purse in my hand! It is harder to head this off if you go somewhere where you have to pay before you receive your order. When I was single I would try to place my order second so the guy could just pay for his before I ordered mine. This worked a little better. Maybe you should try ordering for yourself first and finishing with "and that will be it" after placing your order and then stepping aside after you've paid. They will be less likely to look to you to pay for the whole thing is you just finished ordering for yourself. How did your date handle it? Did she offer to get the next? Or have you not told her about your employment situation and she doesn't know you're trying to go dutch?
Jaina19 Posted August 24, 2011 Posted August 24, 2011 I have noticed things like this before too pretty often when I go somewhere with a guy. If my husband and I go out, they always put the check next to him. No biggie because our money is in one account so really whether they use the card with my name on it or the one with his name on it its all the same. Still I do notice how often they turned to him with the check. Even last month when I took out a gay male friend of mine for lunch on his bday. I'd invited him - "Its yer bday! Let me buy you lunch" kinda deal. We finish eating and I asked for the check. The male server still put it next to my friend even though I had my purse in my hand! I've had a few like this, the funniest being when I bought my male friend a drink. I paid the barman with the cash in my hand, yet he gave the change to my friend, obviously thinking that he had given me the money to pay.
vsmini Posted August 24, 2011 Posted August 24, 2011 Rude - as a female in that situation I wouldn't just play dumb and have my back turned. I would notice that I wasn't paying my part and tell the cashier that I needed to pay. She clearly had no intention of paying. Did she say thank you?
sm1tten Posted August 24, 2011 Posted August 24, 2011 I've had that happen to me too, where the cashier automatically assumed that the man was paying. Usually they'll ask if the orders are separate or together, but not always. I think everyone did a poor job here. Cashier should have asked, girl should not have assumed you were going to pay and just waltzed off, boy should have picked a cheaper and more casual venue. I've made this mistake too, being "nice"on a date when he didn't bust out his wallet. didn't want to look bad, didn't want to make the other person feel bad... regretted it later.
Mutant Debutante Posted August 24, 2011 Posted August 24, 2011 If you don't want to be in that awkward position again, do as others suggested and go for coffee, or ice cream or even a nice little walk in the park (that one is totally free!) If you're unemployed, she shoulda probably cracked her wallet. But I totally agree with everyone who says it was a misunderstanding, and you should plan differently. First dates should be coffee or ice cream dates...if you already know her, make it a picnic or day at the beach. Go see a free concert in the park, or a free reading at a bookstore.
vsmini Posted August 24, 2011 Posted August 24, 2011 I don't understand how this could be an "honest mistake" Unless she isn't aware that you actually have to pay for food when you order it and it's given to you. Wouldn't she have noticed that she didn't pay at one point and at least say 'Thank you' to the guy???? - because it's obvious someone had to pay for it.
antinko Posted August 24, 2011 Posted August 24, 2011 10 sentences. 6 begin with "so". Not sure if there's ever been a study done on the correlation between lack of eloquence and lack of dating success. I think a study would be rather redundant since the outcomes are obvious.
Feelsgoodman Posted August 24, 2011 Posted August 24, 2011 I met a girl tonight for the first time at a cafe that served sandwiches, salads, and pizza. So when we stood up to order i let her go first and order er food and steppped to the side. So after the cashier totaled her order why didn't she tell the girl the final number so she could pay for it? So when it came time for me to order the girl told me the final number and said that will be $25.00. First of all I had only $35.00 in my wallet and expected to spend $15 on my food so I could keep the rest of the money for a possible 6th date on Friday. So I looked at the cashier and didn't want to make a scene and just threw the money at her while the girl back was turned. The fact that I'm unemployed I'm trying to plan my outings carefully and had no intentions on paying for her food. Still trying to figure out why the cashier never asked her to pay after she finished ordering or i don't know if the girl told the cashier "he will pay" So she may have disquaified herself from a second date because she defintely was supposed to have her wallet out when I let her order first. So annoyed right now. Mistake one was going on a first date to a restaurant (especially since you're unemployed). Mistake two was letting the girl go in front of you. Should have paid for your food first. In any event, the fact that the ho walked away expecting you to pick up the tab and didn't offer to pitch in is telling. If she's so cheap that she's trying to save money on food by having guys pay for her meals, you don't want to be dating her.
nyc_guy2003 Posted August 24, 2011 Posted August 24, 2011 I think a study would be rather redundant since the outcomes are obvious. Funny. I guess this thread is evidence enough.
SnowandStars Posted August 25, 2011 Posted August 25, 2011 First dates should always be at a coffee shop or ice cream parlor, ESPECIALLY when you are low on funds.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted August 25, 2011 Posted August 25, 2011 I met a girl tonight for the first time at a cafe that served sandwiches, salads, and pizza. So when we stood up to order i let her go first and order er food and steppped to the side. So after the cashier totaled her order why didn't she tell the girl the final number so she could pay for it? So when it came time for me to order the girl told me the final number and said that will be $25.00. First of all I had only $35.00 in my wallet and expected to spend $15 on my food so I could keep the rest of the money for a possible 6th date on Friday. So I looked at the cashier and didn't want to make a scene and just threw the money at her while the girl back was turned. The fact that I'm unemployed I'm trying to plan my outings carefully and had no intentions on paying for her food. Still trying to figure out why the cashier never asked her to pay after she finished ordering or i don't know if the girl told the cashier "he will pay" So she may have disquaified herself from a second date because she defintely was supposed to have her wallet out when I let her order first. So annoyed right now. Forgetting all that, didn't anyone ever tell you that you are moving waaaaaaaaaaay too fast??? A first-ever meeting on a Tuesday night... and already planning a "6th date" for Friday, with someone who presumably hadn't even done/impressed enough to guarantee a "second date". Now either she was hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiighly likely to have to finance some of the rest of the busy week, rendering you effectively 'even' at SOME point, or you were going to have to stretch the remaining $22.50 over five dates in ways that people on this board would be interested to learn. So, doing the math for you... $4.50 per date... is that always going dutch? or were you envisioning paying for two during some of those 'dates'? Do tell...
Pierre Posted August 25, 2011 Posted August 25, 2011 If you are upset about spending 12 bucks on a date you should not be dating. Furthermore, you should not have internet service which is more costly than 12 bucks. This is harsh, but you need to save money. If you must date explain the girl you cannot spend money and go for a walk near the beach. Bring some sandwiches from home. And whatever you do----------------------do not blame your date.
Pierre Posted August 25, 2011 Posted August 25, 2011 In any event, the fact that the ho walked away expecting you to pick up the tab and didn't offer to pitch in is telling. If she's so cheap that she's trying to save money on food by having guys pay for her meals, you don't want to be dating her. Is it cheap to expect women to pay on a first date? I think so! The real question is: Who is more stingy? She or him?
TuffCookieX Posted August 25, 2011 Posted August 25, 2011 This b*tch sucks, if she didn't at least offer to help pay, get rid of her. I go on dates all the time where men insist on paying but I at least make a few offers before giving in. It's not fair to just EXPECT a man to cough it all up.
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