no_love_here Posted August 24, 2011 Share Posted August 24, 2011 Is it possible to love someone with your head but not with your heart? My ex told me her mind told her I was perfect for her, but her heart didn't feel the same. We were together for 10 yrs and she just ended it. is this normal? Link to post Share on other sites
Nohbody Posted August 24, 2011 Share Posted August 24, 2011 That's ridiculous nonsense people tell themselves when they want to feel better about ending a relationship. There may be treachery afoot, there may not be. Unplug her from your life completely. This will be very hard. It will suck. You still should do this. Initiate No Contact, and go read the threads on what that means if you haven't already. If she loves you, she'll come back. If she doesn't, she won't and you will get over her as quickly and effectively as possible. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Buttercup84 Posted August 24, 2011 Share Posted August 24, 2011 First of all , really sorry to hear that.Ten years is a very long time so I can imagine how cut you are. What she might mean is that you are such a great person and she wants to feel that way still about you , but can't. But to be honest she does sound like she has no idea what shes on about.You either love someone or not. *hugs* Link to post Share on other sites
danceallday Posted August 24, 2011 Share Posted August 24, 2011 So sorry to hear about this. Definitely nc and let her have space. It may be a GIGS because you have been together for so long. I was in two long term relationships and unless you work very hard (both parties) communication does tend to break down. Link to post Share on other sites
Author no_love_here Posted August 24, 2011 Author Share Posted August 24, 2011 Thanks for the help and support. I will go nc and see what happens. I do believe it was a case of giggs, because she kept telling I'm the only guy she been with and that she never, ever really loved me. Is this even possible? 10 yrs no such love? I understand falling out of love, but never loving someone after being with them for a decade? Please give me advice. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Nohbody Posted August 24, 2011 Share Posted August 24, 2011 She's turned into a mythological monster. Don't listen to any of the lies she will spout at you. Cover your ears, go NC. If she sorts herself out, she may go back to being a human being and you can hash it out if she comes back. If she doesn't, she won't, and it's not your problem. Link to post Share on other sites
Fedor Posted August 24, 2011 Share Posted August 24, 2011 Shes basically saying she thought you were the one she loved. Run and dont look back. Link to post Share on other sites
Author no_love_here Posted August 24, 2011 Author Share Posted August 24, 2011 Im still in shock and I want to forget the last words she told me. I will always love her and maybe with nc she will realize she does love me! Do you think this is possible? Link to post Share on other sites
Avelia Posted August 25, 2011 Share Posted August 25, 2011 (edited) well she could be emotionally unavailable to you, and when you say 'love someone with one's head, but not with the heart' - its refering preciously to an intellectualizer, which is one type of emotionally unavailable people EU can have lots of roots and causes which varies with individuals. Intellectualizers, as a type of EU ppl, is characterised by the tendency to try to make sense of everything in order to understand and experience it, including emotions. and we express our thoughts instead of feelings most of the time. The problem with it is that you can't make sense of emotions unless standing from a distance, and intellectualizers create distance between themselves and their emotions as well as others emotions. Well I kept a link about intellectualizers and have a look and see if she is like that http://aloftyexistence.wordpress.com/2011/06/17/profiles-emotionally-unavailable-intellectualizer/ Edited August 25, 2011 by Avelia ... Link to post Share on other sites
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