did I really break NC and her bday is coming up

[ken_25]

hey everyone, just looking for some advice. here is my story http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t288314/

 

I broke NC after moving out, I sent her an email on July 27th. She did not respond to it. it was nothing mean, and it was nothing about me trying to get her back, I didn't even tell her I loved her or I'll always love you or any of that. Anyway, since then I have not contacted her. She contacted me August 10th in a facebook email asking where something was because she couldn't find it. I simply wrote "no sorry, I remember seeing it on the desk but I'm not sure it was there when I left." she responded "ok thanks." and that's been it. I was wondering since I replied, is that truly breaking NC?

 

Also, her birthday is Monday and even though I feel I know most will say no, I'm still torn on sending her a happy bday text. I really do feel she would atleast awknowledge me with a thanks or something, but I'm just not sure what to truly do. maybe I just need some reinforcement here, any thoughts are welcomed.

 

And thanks again to all who helped me in my orginal thread.

[jquest1280]

sending a happy birthday text when you sound like you very much care for her reply seems like a formula for disappointment.

 

it was decent of you to reply to her question on where the thing was, but see, even these brief contacts make you want more.

 

...i'm sorry. courage. it will pass

[antinko]

If you want to say happy Birthday, just text her "Happy Birthday" and that'll serve. Short and business like.

[ken_25]

thanks, but I really just can't make a desicion.

[sadvenus]

I was having the same problem too. It was his birthday yesterday. I was thinking of sending him an email but I ended up not contacting him at all. I was already more than 2 months of NC. It was hard. But what can I do. I have to move on. For years, it was all about him. Now I have to focus on myself. Whether he is happy or not, it won't make a difference. Now it's all about me, only me.

[antinko]

Tbh, I think the best thing to do would be to say it in a text, but send it late. It shows you care, but that the ex's happiness is no longer a priority to you.

[california15]

If you decide you want to send a text, just prepare yourself:

 

1) for no response

2) for a breadcrumb response

3) for a mean response

 

I just don't want you reaching out to say happy birthday to set you back if any of the above 3 happen

[Chi townD]

Here's what you do, go in the phone book and pick a random number then dial it. Once they pick up the phone, wish them a happy birthday, then hang up. Sound stupid? So is wishing her a happy birthday. Let's be honest here, the girl you once dated is gone for good. What remains is a person you do not know, a complete stranger that is alien to you.

 

She messed you over 5 ways to Sunday, you don't owe her a thing. She's moved on when she was cheating on you. Don't forget that level of disrespect she showed you from your orginal thread. If you text her on her birthday, she might think. "oh that's sweet, but the poor sod can't seem to move on." I don't think you want her to pity you. If you don't text her on her birthday, do you REALLY think she's gonna get all bent out of shape?

[california15]

agree with Chi townD

[ken_25]

well I don't feel I owe it to her at all. I don't know, I think part of me feels like look you did this crap to me, but look I'm fine, I can look past everything you did to say this. like it's big of me to do it, I don't know. I'll never contact her again after this anyway. I thought going no contact would be harder, but it's not for me... its just this birthday thing. maybe though you're right and i should just let go from that idea and just forget it all. I talked to her dad about it, he said i should just send the text, or at least he would and to not focus on the bad and focus on the good that comes out of the bad.