Mister_pushover Posted August 23, 2011 Posted August 23, 2011 I have finally gone NC, only took me 6 months, stupid I know. Long story short, with my ex for 2.5 years, moved in together towards end but due to problems with our flat we argued & I moved home, her into a house share. I suspected she was cheating which she was. Tried to work it out but after 6 weeks she ended it. Shortly after she got with the guy she cheated on me with. I couldn't get over her & bombarded her with texts and we would meet, as a result they ended which I was happy about. For the next 6 months we would meet, i would stay over, lend her money, buy her food, take her on nights out, take her gigs. I even did stupid things like paint her room & drive her places & pick her up. I have never seen the money I lent her, I suspect this went cocaine as she has developed a bad habit. I knew it was wrong but continued to see her, she would always let me down & only see me when it suited her. She constantly lied to me & even talked to other guys infront of me & lie saying it's her best friend. I now think she is seeing someone else & she lied about that even though it's pretty much in black & White. When I would stay over she would hug me, kiss me on the cheek, tease me, sleep in same bed but nothing ever happened. I finally have gone NC much to her disapproval, as a result I received a lot of abuse & she said I would never see or speak to her again. Despite how she treats me & uses me I still love her & can't imagine a life without her in it, even as a friend, which I know never works. Did I do the right thing? I haven't met anyone in the 6 months we have split up yet she always gets attention. Do I stick to NC? I did enough begging & pleading for her back so I know that tactic doesn't work. How I can move on? I feel so low & pathetic.
wilsonx Posted August 24, 2011 Posted August 24, 2011 You don't want this manipulative bitch back. I laughed that you got them to break up, thats actually quite funny. You need to read your post again and then think about it. Look at all the stuff you did for her. Read everything you did for her! What did she do for you? You have to stand up for yourself and stop giving more then you receive. Any friendship and even relationship is 50/50. I do not agree with 60/40 or 40/60 as some people say. NC is the best thing for you. And its only purpose is to help you detach from her emotionally. You will see things down the road and you will facepalm yourself saying wow I can't believe I did that or I cant believe I tolerated that. If after 6 months of NC you can't see any of these types of things, I'd suggest going to see a professional. Trust me they are there. You posted one here in the forum. Stick NC, find someone thats not selfish and will treat you better
Author Mister_pushover Posted August 24, 2011 Author Posted August 24, 2011 Thanks for the advice wilsonx. I know I am doing the right thing with NC & thought if I can't have her as a gf a friend would do but of course it makes things worse. I need to think of the bad times we had rather than the good. Maybe I am just jealous she has moved on & seeing other people whilst I am suffering. It's very hard to meet someone these days perhaps they can sense the sadness but I am worried if I do meet someone all I will do is compare to my ex. My ex was out of my league so don't want to settle for someone less.
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