If women are the most picky, then why attend mixers?

[irc333]

This had me curious often times I hear how at speed dating events, the women out number the men. However, when women were interviewed, the selection of men didn't appeal to them one bit, and in some cases, the guys who showed interest in them, it wasn't mutual.

 

So they walk out of there with no desire to see those men again.

 

Some with singles mixers. I recall a conversation with a woman who apparently said she had 2 friends that attended a singles mixers, rather attractive women at best.

 

They left early claiming that the whole event looked like a Star Trek convention , but minus the costumes.

 

But it's funny how women attend these functions, only to walk out of them disappointed, what's really scary is the women tend to outnumber the men at these functions. It's just that the good l ooking men are very rarely attend such functions.

 

So why is it attractive women attend these events, but not attractive men?

[grkBoy]

So why is it attractive women attend these events, but not attractive men?

 

In my opinion...

 

The women are playing an endless cycle of misfortune with themselves. They have gone to the bars and clubs and met the men they would really want...the hot/wealthy/exciting guys...but these guys only want sex out of these women, no commitment.

 

So after going through the scene a number of times with disappointment, the women then want to try to find "committing" versions of these guys. They see the dating site as "for losers" or secretly try them with their finger constantly on the "delete account" button.

 

They also run in packs to these mixers...and yet find out the hot, wealthy, exciting guys don't go to them. They keep going in the hopes one might show up, but these guys never do.

 

WHY? Because any hot/wealthy/exciting guy who does commit is already committed. Women who land and marry these guys don't let them go that easily. The rest of the guys either carried the "single for life" thinking and thus see women only as warm bodies...or they got burned in a divorce and thus never trust women. The hot/wealthy/exciting guys simply stay in the bar/club scene picking up young and easy women.

 

Thus these women have the unfortunate choices of:

 

• Just sex with the hot/wealthy/exciting guys, but no relationship
  
• Find an Average Joe or ugly guy on a dating site or mixer that they'll never see as "attractive"
  
• Be alone for life
  

[Emilia]

It isn't quite simple a that thank god. A lot of well skilled, well to do guys have great and interesting hobbies (like sailing) it's where I choose to meet men or through other interesting activity. A lot of people are lazy and they are stuck with single events

[grkBoy]

It isn't quite simple a that thank god. A lot of well skilled, well to do guys have great and interesting hobbies (like sailing) it's where I choose to meet men or through other interesting activity. A lot of people are lazy and they are stuck with single events

 

That's a good answer.

 

It's why I would tell men and women to live their lives, and find hobbies/interests that lead them to other people. Be out there, do things, have fun, learn stuff. Keep "meet potential dates" out of your mind and let someone find you.

[irc333]

It isn't quite simple a that thank god. A lot of well skilled, well to do guys have great and interesting hobbies (like sailing) it's where I choose to meet men or through other interesting activity. A lot of people are lazy and they are stuck with single events

 

Well, there are singles events geared toward that as well.

[grkBoy]

Frankly, I think the better path to meeting better people is not to attend the "forced" things. Singles mixers, speed dating, etc.

 

Attend activity things and leave "meet potential dates" out of it all. Just go, be sociable, be interesting, do things, have interests, but don't worry about making friends or especially meeting people to date.

 

I'd go to art gallery openings, networking events for professionals, and if I wanted to go further I'd do charity events and cooking classes.

 

The idea is to avoid anything labeled "Singles ______" or "_____ for Singles". Those events only attract those really looking for someone, and as we see many lament on, it's mostly guys and very picky women. Plus you end up in "competition" with every single guy for the few women who show up.

 

Just go to fun stuff with the idea only of being sociable and having fun. Don't worry if you walk out of there with no numbers or contact info for new friends or potential dates. The reason is you want to be relaxed, no pressure, and be interesting. Make a good impression...because even if you end up in an event full of couples, the wives and girlfriends might then be thinking "I gotta fix him up with ________."

 

I know there are those single folk whom the wives and girlfriends know are incredibly shallow so they won't even bother introducing you later to people, but social capital can still work. The trick though is to be relaxed, confident, fun, interesting, but not "pushy" to make friends/contacts/dates. Let these people try to stay in touch with you...not you pushing to stay in touch with them. Let them find you on Facebook or message you on whatever site you're on and ask for your email or contact number.

 

No one likes the pushy weirdo who makes everyone feel uneasy. Work to not be that guy. Be the fun guy people want around.

[thatone]

I think it more has to do with, there are many pretty girls on the planet and not so many pretty guys.

 

But, EVERYBODY is attractive to someone. Women are more picky because men are grosser than women. lol sorry to say, but it's just the truth.

 

And men and women are very different. When a man loves a woman, but the woman doesn't love the man, it isn't an ego boost for her. It's incredibly uncomfortable. When a woman loves a man, but the man doesn't love her, he can get off on it.

 

This is why I think it should be women's choice. Pretty much all women are attractive to men, only a select few men are attractive to women. So when a woman falls for a man...you listen, stupid.

 

It probably isn't gonna happen to you again in this lifetime. lol

 

your post sums up a lot of the problems of women you see posted on this forum.

 

the fact is, yes men are physically attracted to women, but for relationship purposes men write women off just as quickly as women write men off when they see red flags. the only difference is men will sometimes keep a good face up to get laid after the fact. as you said, when the woman is attracted to the man but the man can 'get off' in your words without caring for her one bit.

 

and a good way to get written off but played for sex is to act like you're entitled to the man you're with.

[Feelsgoodman]

Pretty much all women are attractive to men, only a select few men are attractive to women. So when a woman falls for a man...you listen, stupid.

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