JohnEl Posted August 23, 2011 Posted August 23, 2011 I've had a lot of anger today. I'm mad at the whole situation. How could she give up on us and throw away everything we had going for us. We had a lot going for us and a lot of great things planned. I just needed the long distance to end, and she ended it two weeks before she moved back. Things were rough and she bailed. I'm mad at her for doing that. How can she change so fast? She fell out of love with me overnight. She walked away when we needed work and she isn't coming back. Its hard to know I'm going to go thru life without her. It's hard to imagine being with anyone else. We were so close. Basically married. That's what we both wanted but she suddenly changed her mind and is with someone else already. It doesn't make sense and it pisses me off. Shes actually happy with her decision. She thinks it's okay to do what she did. I was a great boyfriend but she always focused on what I didnt do. That's not fair. I'm lost right now. Need something positive to happen.
antinko Posted August 23, 2011 Posted August 23, 2011 Welcome to the anger phase; you'll drift in and out of it somewhat and it's totally normal. But well done because you're grieving well. You'll be fine mate, honestly. Don't let anyone tell you it's a 'stage' though. Grieving is non-linear. You'll experience the whole range of grief phases in various orders. Just keep yourself busy and keep posting here.
antinko Posted August 23, 2011 Posted August 23, 2011 I've had a lot of anger today. I'm mad at the whole situation. How could she give up on us and throw away everything we had going for us. We had a lot going for us and a lot of great things planned. I just needed the long distance to end, and she ended it two weeks before she moved back. Things were rough and she bailed. I'm mad at her for doing that. How can she change so fast? She fell out of love with me overnight. She walked away when we needed work and she isn't coming back. Its hard to know I'm going to go thru life without her. It's hard to imagine being with anyone else. We were so close. Basically married. That's what we both wanted but she suddenly changed her mind and is with someone else already. It doesn't make sense and it pisses me off. Shes actually happy with her decision. She thinks it's okay to do what she did. I was a great boyfriend but she always focused on what I didnt do. That's not fair. I'm lost right now. Need something positive to happen. Also, to address the points you made: You were a committed boyfriend, but unfortunately she wasn't as committed. She doesn't deserve the love you gave her and maybe one day she'll realise. I don't know, but know at least that you're capable of giving a lot of love and I'm sure someone will be lucky enough to receive it again one day, and return it equally. Your ex is with someone else... Yep, it sucks but it's most likely a rebound. At the very least, it shows how emotionally immature she is and... She's not happy. Mate, don't for a second believe she's truly happy. It'd be completely inhuman of her if she could go from such a big relationship with you to someone else and not grieve. If she's not hurting on the inside now, well she's going to regret it later. But by then, you shouldn't care. If, and I mean if, she is truly happy, which I find very unlikely, then she's totally not worth your love and doesn't know what love is. You're hurting because you've been betrayed, but you will be stronger when you come out of this. Hang on in there. Believe me, I know how hopeless it can feel.
Bito Posted August 23, 2011 Posted August 23, 2011 Also, to address the points you made: You were a committed boyfriend, but unfortunately she wasn't as committed. She doesn't deserve the love you gave her and maybe one day she'll realise. I don't know, but know at least that you're capable of giving a lot of love and I'm sure someone will be lucky enough to receive it again one day, and return it equally. Your ex is with someone else... Yep, it sucks but it's most likely a rebound. At the very least, it shows how emotionally immature she is and... She's not happy. Mate, don't for a second believe she's truly happy. It'd be completely inhuman of her if she could go from such a big relationship with you to someone else and not grieve. If she's not hurting on the inside now, well she's going to regret it later. But by then, you shouldn't care. If, and I mean if, she is truly happy, which I find very unlikely, then she's totally not worth your love and doesn't know what love is. You're hurting because you've been betrayed, but you will be stronger when you come out of this. Hang on in there. Believe me, I know how hopeless it can feel. All spot on. Hang in there and do your best to forget about her. She is not happy and someone like her never will be unless she addresses her personal issues...
Author JohnEl Posted August 23, 2011 Author Posted August 23, 2011 She was just as committed as I was. She tried to make it work. She really did. I don't think she tried hard enough and neither did I. I had no idea that she was thinking about breaking up with me. I knew things were not going well but i ignored all the problems bc i knew she was moving home soon and everything would be fine once we were done with long distance. She gave up on trying bc she felt like things weren't going to get better. She really feels like i didn't care about her. I know I didn't show her how much I cared during the long distance and she took it as if I really didn't care at all.I just had a hard time Showing it. In her eyes, she felt like she was treated badly and needed to get out. This we guy is giving her all the attention in the world and she likes that an it keeps her mind off of me. She's happy to not be with me where she feels like she would be neglected or something. I feel like I screwed up by not addressing the problems and ignoring them and waiting for her to move home. She screwed up by giving up on us and not waiting two more weeks to work things out when she moved home. This new guy is making her happy and that's what she wants now. She's not coming back to me an it's hard to imagine life without her. Its really sad. We could have been something really special.
Author JohnEl Posted August 23, 2011 Author Posted August 23, 2011 She was just as committed as I was. She tried to make it work. She really did. I don't think she tried hard enough and neither did I. I had no idea that she was thinking about breaking up with me. I knew things were not going well but i ignored all the problems bc i knew she was moving home soon and everything would be fine once we were done with long distance. She gave up on trying bc she felt like things weren't going to get better. She really feels like i didn't care about her. I know I didn't show her how much I cared during the long distance and she took it as if I really didn't care at all.I just had a hard time Showing it. In her eyes, she felt like she was treated badly and needed to get out. This we guy is giving her all the attention in the world and she likes that an it keeps her mind off of me. She's happy to not be with me where she feels like she would be neglected or something. I feel like I screwed up by not addressing the problems and ignoring them and waiting for her to move home. She screwed up by giving up on us and not waiting two more weeks to work things out when she moved home. This new guy is making her happy and that's what she wants now. She's not coming back to me an it's hard to imagine life without her. Its really sad. We could have been something really special. well, i was angry at the situation all day and found myself gettin really sad while driving home from work. i started to think of all the things i loved about her and how its all gone. this emotional rollercoaster is crazy. it feels like we were just together yesterday. i remember everything that i enjoyed and its so real in my mind. i picture all of these things and then think about how its all gone and shes with someone else now. this other guy gets all that good stuff and im alone. it feels like the only way ill ever get better is if she comes back to me but thats not going to happen so i feel like ill never be happy again. im just missing her a lot right now. im being a big pessimist and really getting down about everything and then i start blamming myself. i keep thinking how it will all get better with time...hope thats true.
DontWorryBHappy Posted August 24, 2011 Posted August 24, 2011 Hey, wanted to say I am right there with you. Everything you said rings true for me too. I loved my ex with all my heart but now he's literally just POOF... gone. Just like that. He was closer to me than anyone else and now suddenly it's like I don't exist to him anymore. I know I wasn't perfect, but I always let him know that I loved him, and if I made mistakes, I always apologized for them when I realized they were mistakes. But he's gone. It's horrible for me to accept. You'll find that you will have moments when you feel you've actually accepted it and are moving on, but then you'll be sad as hell, and over and over again.. It's a tough road, but you're not the only one on it. "If you're going through hell, keep going."...
D-Lish Posted August 24, 2011 Posted August 24, 2011 (edited) I've had a lot of anger today. I'm mad at the whole situation. How could she give up on us and throw away everything we had going for us. We had a lot going for us and a lot of great things planned. I just needed the long distance to end, and she ended it two weeks before she moved back. Things were rough and she bailed. I'm mad at her for doing that. How can she change so fast? She fell out of love with me overnight. She walked away when we needed work and she isn't coming back. Its hard to know I'm going to go thru life without her. It's hard to imagine being with anyone else. We were so close. Basically married. That's what we both wanted but she suddenly changed her mind and is with someone else already. It doesn't make sense and it pisses me off. Shes actually happy with her decision. She thinks it's okay to do what she did. I was a great boyfriend but she always focused on what I didnt do. That's not fair. I'm lost right now. Need something positive to happen. Good, I am glad you are angry- stick with that, but turn it more towards the things she screwed up in the relationship- where she was lacking. A hard lesson to learn is that people don't fall out of love overnight- it happens gradually. Usually by the time you get dumped, they've gone through the grieving process and built the courage to walk away. It feels like you've been blindsided, but in reality they usually start checking out a long time before they tell you. My ex told me he loved me and we spent a great day together (sex and all) a week before he dumped me. He admitted he'd be pondering whether or not we were right for one another for a while and just wasn't sure. In essence, by the time he left me, he had already processed it. So it seems like you're blindsided, but they never fall out of love over night- they ponder it for a long while before doing it. In your case, what pushed her to follow through with the break up was having someone else lined up- sad but true. Honey, you know she's the kind of girl that CAN'T handle being alone- she moved onto you when she was in a realtionship with someone else, and when the honeymoon period wears off with this guy, she'll line someone else up and repeat the pattern. You had doubts of your own while together- why do you all of a sudden see her as this perfect person for you now? I think it's the rejection playing tricks on you. There will be a cool girl in your future that won't expect you to text her constantly while you are out with the guys, a girl that trusts in your love enough to allow you to maintain your friendships with the guys- a girl that will be able to communicate with you without starting World War 3. You should be mad- she made a lot of mistakes and pulled a lot of BS behaviour along the way. Edited August 24, 2011 by D-Lish
Author JohnEl Posted August 24, 2011 Author Posted August 24, 2011 Good, I am glad you are angry- stick with that, but turn it more towards the things she screwed up in the relationship- where she was lacking. A hard lesson to learn is that people don't fall out of love overnight- it happens gradually. Usually by the time you get dumped, they've gone through the grieving process and built the courage to walk away. It feels like you've been blindsided, but in reality they usually start checking out a long time before they tell you. My ex told me he loved me and we spent a great day together (sex and all) a week before he dumped me. He admitted he'd be pondering whether or not we were right for one another for a while and just wasn't sure. In essence, by the time he left me, he had already processed it. So it seems like you're blindsided, but they never fall out of love over night- they ponder it for a long while before doing it. In your case, what pushed her to follow through with the break up was having someone else lined up- sad but true. Honey, you know she's the kind of girl that CAN'T handle being alone- she moved onto you when she was in a realtionship with someone else, and when the honeymoon period wears off with this guy, she'll line someone else up and repeat the pattern. You had doubts of your own while together- why do you all of a sudden see her as this perfect person for you now? I think it's the rejection playing tricks on you. There will be a cool girl in your future that won't expect you to text her constantly while you are out with the guys, a girl that trusts in your love enough to allow you to maintain your friendships with the guys- a girl that will be able to communicate with you without starting World War 3. You should be mad- she made a lot of mistakes and pulled a lot of BS behaviour along the way. i got really angry today followed by being very sad. ive just been going back and forth all day. for some reason my mind tries to justify everything that she did. i think of reasons why she left me and why she started dating someone else right away. i start blamming myself. then i start thinking about how much of a b*tch she is and how insecure she must be for dating someone else already. it pisses me off that she doesnt think she was at fault at all. she really thinks that i was so bad to her and forced her to leave. shes crazy. i did so much for her. so my mind is just going back and forth between blamming myself to justify her actions and then getting mad at her. its a viscous cycle. she told me that this guy had nothing to do with us breaking up. what a bunch of BS. she knew that she had this guy to go to if/when me and her broke up. if she was thinking about breaking up for a while, why wouldnt she mention anything to me about that? she said a few things here and there but nothing to make me think she was even considering breaking up. the last fight we had was one of the dumbest fights we ever had. she was mad that i didnt text her back in a reasonable amount of time... she texted me at like 2 pm and i didnt text back by like 630 so she flipped out on me and said that i didnt care about her bc if i did, i would have texted her back. but i was at work til 6 that night... i think she was just looking for a reason to start a fight and end it. she needed to justify breaking up with me and moving on to this d-bag shes dating now. and she tried to make me feel really bad about it all, and she did. she put 100% of the blame on me and i bought into that. she wanted me to feel bad so she could feel good and justify her leaving. i think we are both to blame. we both did/didnt do things that led to this it just hurts so much bc shes dating someone else. that seriously makes it so much worse. thats whats messing me up the most. the thoughts of her and him together. thats killing me. makes me sick. i think about the times we would sleep together and the way she did certain things and its so fresh in my mind. i can remember every little thing about that and i start to picture her getting off with this other guy. its disgusting. i need to find a way to stop thinking about her with him and also stop dwelling on the good times we had together.
Wesker Posted August 24, 2011 Posted August 24, 2011 In your case, what pushed her to follow through with the break up was having someone else lined up- sad but true. Honey, you know she's the kind of girl that CAN'T handle being alone- she moved onto you when she was in a relationship with someone else, and when the honeymoon period wears off with this guy, she'll line someone else up and repeat the pattern. You had doubts of your own while together- why do you all of a sudden see her as this perfect person for you now? I think it's the rejection playing tricks on you.That is so my ex. Even though we were together almost 8 years, I now remember knowing she was living with someone else before, when I was first interested in her(we work at the same place). Only a couple months later they broke up I was told, and we went out soon after. Funny I how I didn't think too much of it back then. 8 years later I'm now just another link in the chain. Difference now is that I've learned so much about me, and what not to do, and do, while she hasn't learned a damn thing. Guys like us really do deserve better. Instead of being just a chapter in their story, we should be the whole book. Just know that whoever we may find next will be very lucky to be with us. While our serial dumper ex's are jumping from person to person.
jeff2321 Posted August 24, 2011 Posted August 24, 2011 (edited) My ex was engaged 2 months after she left me. Our relationship lasted 4 years and we lived together. I do take responsibility and forgive myself for the stuff I did wrong in my relationship with her (it has taken me 12 painful months to even say this). I find it a bit interesting that she was willing to get engaged to someone else 2.5 months after moving out of a house with me. Just goes to show you how much different the dumper feels than the dumpee. I often wonder if she was cheating, but I don't think so... I do think she was strategic and had a guy lined up. It's been a year for me and I can't even imagine forming that kind of connection with someone new so quickly. I do hope she is happy and that it lasts. I am now 12 months out from the breakup and don't feel like getting into a relationship at all aside from a good friendship. I don't even desire sex even though today I had a close friend call me up and basically solicit casual sex with me. I am content now just being single and working on me after 12 long painful months. I think finally life is going to be better for me. OP, be good to yourself and realize that you will feel better as time passes. jeff2321 That is so my ex. Even though we were together almost 8 years, I now remember knowing she was living with someone else before, when I was first interested in her(we work at the same place). Only a couple months later they broke up I was told, and we went out soon after. Funny I how I didn't think too much of it back then. 8 years later I'm now just another link in the chain. Difference now is that I've learned so much about me, and what not to do, and do, while she hasn't learned a damn thing. Guys like us really do deserve better. Instead of being just a chapter in their story, we should be the whole book. Just know that whoever we may find next will be very lucky to be with us. While our serial dumper ex's are jumping from person to person. Edited August 24, 2011 by jeff2321
D-Lish Posted August 25, 2011 Posted August 25, 2011 i got really angry today followed by being very sad. ive just been going back and forth all day. for some reason my mind tries to justify everything that she did. i think of reasons why she left me and why she started dating someone else right away. i start blamming myself. then i start thinking about how much of a b*tch she is and how insecure she must be for dating someone else already. it pisses me off that she doesnt think she was at fault at all. she really thinks that i was so bad to her and forced her to leave. shes crazy. i did so much for her. so my mind is just going back and forth between blamming myself to justify her actions and then getting mad at her. its a viscous cycle. she told me that this guy had nothing to do with us breaking up. what a bunch of BS. she knew that she had this guy to go to if/when me and her broke up. if she was thinking about breaking up for a while, why wouldnt she mention anything to me about that? she said a few things here and there but nothing to make me think she was even considering breaking up. the last fight we had was one of the dumbest fights we ever had. she was mad that i didnt text her back in a reasonable amount of time... she texted me at like 2 pm and i didnt text back by like 630 so she flipped out on me and said that i didnt care about her bc if i did, i would have texted her back. but i was at work til 6 that night... i think she was just looking for a reason to start a fight and end it. she needed to justify breaking up with me and moving on to this d-bag shes dating now. and she tried to make me feel really bad about it all, and she did. she put 100% of the blame on me and i bought into that. she wanted me to feel bad so she could feel good and justify her leaving. i think we are both to blame. we both did/didnt do things that led to this it just hurts so much bc shes dating someone else. that seriously makes it so much worse. thats whats messing me up the most. the thoughts of her and him together. thats killing me. makes me sick. i think about the times we would sleep together and the way she did certain things and its so fresh in my mind. i can remember every little thing about that and i start to picture her getting off with this other guy. its disgusting. i need to find a way to stop thinking about her with him and also stop dwelling on the good times we had together. It's normal to dwell. I still do it over 4 months later- think of how good things first were. I'm only now getting to the point where I am starting to feel a little anger here and there. You have a right to be angry. As natural as it is to blame yourself, the entire demise of the relationship is NOT all your fault. From what you've said, she was far from being a perfect gf. Accept the mistakes that you did make and learn from them- but you have to kick that girl off that pedestal (and it looks like you're getting there)
Author JohnEl Posted August 25, 2011 Author Posted August 25, 2011 this roller coaster of emotions is driving me crazy! one minute im optimistic about what the future holds. im excited about meeting new people and trying new things. i think about how i will find someone that i can have a better relationship with than i did with my ex. then the next minute, i think about how i screwed up. i should have made it work with her and not let her get away. i put her back on that pedestal and act like she was the greatest person in the world and im an idiot for lettin her go. i feel like shes having the time of her life now and is releived to be out of the relationship with me. i start thinking about how there is no way we will ever get back together and its sad. its hard to sit at home, alone at night knowing that she has someone to talk to. shes building a relationship with someone else while im at home, alone and sad... im seriously going crazy with all these different emotions exploding out of my body. i want to contact her really bad. there are a lot of things i want to tell her. one minute i hate her then the next i love her. im getting sick of thinking about all this 24/7. ive been keeping really busy and i still think about it. i still find myself crying every once in a while and its annoying. i dont know what to do now. i feel like nothing is working for me to move on. i dont know if i can. i dont feel like im making any progress.
Rorschach64 Posted August 25, 2011 Posted August 25, 2011 (edited) Wanted to stop in and say I have gone through and still pushing forward what you have been going through, in every single way. It is rather baffling how it could happen so quick, how someone you love and cared for greatly could turn in to a monster so quickly all because of some childish desire to chase someone else, at least that was my situation plus GIGs. D-lish summed it up practically right, they fall out of love over time and then when they find the courage to move on they dump that batch of sulfuric acid on you. It simply sucks, but you must find the perserverance to move forward and prove to yourself that you are, indeed, a great person deserving of unmitigated love from another. Drink water and drive on, comrade! Good luck. P.S. The roller coaster of emotions you are going through is tough, very tough! I struggle with this still after 1 month of NC but it shows you cared about the person and loved them! I think it is best to forgive them so you can gain some inner peace from it and acceptance. That's what I did and it feels some what better. Edited August 25, 2011 by Rorschach64
Author JohnEl Posted August 25, 2011 Author Posted August 25, 2011 Wanted to stop in and say I have gone through and still pushing forward what you have been going through, in every single way. It is rather baffling how it could happen so quick, how someone you love and cared for greatly could turn in to a monster so quickly all because of some childish desire to chase someone else, at least that was my situation plus GIGs. D-lish summed it up practically right, they fall out of love over time and then when they find the courage to move on they dump that batch of sulfuric acid on you. It simply sucks, but you must find the perserverance to move forward and prove to yourself that you are, indeed, a great person deserving of unmitigated love from another. Drink water and drive on, comrade! Good luck. P.S. The roller coaster of emotions you are going through is tough, very tough! I struggle with this still after 1 month of NC but it shows you cared about the person and loved them! I think it is best to forgive them so you can gain some inner peace from it and acceptance. That's what I did and it feels some what better. i dont know if i can forgive her. this shouldnt have happened. i feel like it was easily avoidable. we could have made it work. if she would have told me that she was even considering breaking up or was questioning our relationship then i would have made more of an effort to make it work. but she didnt tell me that. she told me things here and there but nothing to make me think she was unhappy. how was i suppose to know she was unhappy if she never told me? then she just ditches me for the next guy? its not fair. so i dont know if i can forgive her for bailing on me like that after three years. she just cut me out of her life and planned on ignoring me forever. she broke up with me via email then ignored me for about 2 weeks. how can she do that to someone who she said she wanted to marry? how is she capable of just throwing me out and moving on to the next guy so quickly? im so mad at her for that and dont think ill ever be able to look at her the same. she hurt me so much and she doesnt care at all. its selfish but i guess my feelings dont matter bc she doesnt wanna be with me anymore.
Rorschach64 Posted August 25, 2011 Posted August 25, 2011 JohnEl, I understand 100% where you are coming from. That's what my ex fiancee did, but she took it a step further and accused me of cheating on her using my laptop, which I lent her out of generosity, to conduct a witch hunt against me, so she can break up guilt free. Alas her friends encouraged me to persue her still and try to make things right, at the time she reemed me out so hard I actually believed I did cheat on her, blah blah long story short I found out she was seeing someone else already after four days and I eventually cleared my name of cheating on her after accusing her of cheating on me, which she called me pathetic, idiotic, and I should wallow in my own **** because I wanted to fix the relationship and didn't want to give up after four days. PLUS she still has my 1800USD laptop which I am pretty sure she will not give back. I still forgive her for her cruelity, her pettiness, and all that lovely stuff, only because I loved the person I use to know, not this beast that assaulted me and I let go. It has helped me move on to a degree. That's just me John, it may not work for you, it may. I understand though where you are coming from but no one should suffer because of what the beast did. I wish you luck man, but all of this is normal reaction to the break up and it simply is the suck.
Diatribes Posted August 25, 2011 Posted August 25, 2011 Be angry. I you feel you have reason to be angry, you probably do. And someone who truly cares about you wouldn't treat you like this. After awhile, you'll realize this person wasn't right for you anyways, and you've wasted your time wishing it was different. Life's too short. That someone special is out there waiting for you, but you're not going to find that person until you quit pinning for your ex who treated you like sh*t.
UpDownAllAround Posted August 25, 2011 Posted August 25, 2011 JohnEl, I understand 100% where you are coming from. That's what my ex fiancee did, but she took it a step further and accused me of cheating on her using my laptop, which I lent her out of generosity, to conduct a witch hunt against me, so she can break up guilt free. Alas her friends encouraged me to persue her still and try to make things right, at the time she reemed me out so hard I actually believed I did cheat on her, blah blah long story short I found out she was seeing someone else already after four days and I eventually cleared my name of cheating on her after accusing her of cheating on me, which she called me pathetic, idiotic, and I should wallow in my own **** because I wanted to fix the relationship and didn't want to give up after four days. PLUS she still has my 1800USD laptop which I am pretty sure she will not give back. I still forgive her for her cruelity, her pettiness, and all that lovely stuff, only because I loved the person I use to know, not this beast that assaulted me and I let go. It has helped me move on to a degree. That's just me John, it may not work for you, it may. I understand though where you are coming from but no one should suffer because of what the beast did. I wish you luck man, but all of this is normal reaction to the break up and it simply is the suck. Dude if she still has that laptop you need to get it back. It's yours and yours alone. If you can't get it back, that's theft and you need to report her to the police and have her arrested. She can't treat you like that.
Rorschach64 Posted August 25, 2011 Posted August 25, 2011 Yurp, in about a weeks time if I don't have it in my mitts. I am going to the authorities
antinko Posted August 25, 2011 Posted August 25, 2011 John, Mack05 linked me to this and it really helped. I didn't know how to forgive my ex either but it made me understand that I was approaching forgiveness in the wrong way. At least read it: http://learningtoforgive.com/9-steps/
Author JohnEl Posted August 25, 2011 Author Posted August 25, 2011 she didnt treat me like Sh** in the relationship. she cared about me alot. she did do a lot for me. but she was just so needy. required a lot of attention. she just wanted me to show her how much i cared. i didnt do that enough. i took her for granted and she was really hurt by it. i didnt know that she was hurting so much. after we broke up, she told me that she would cry herself to sleep some nights bc she was so sad bc she felt like i didnt care about her. but she never told me this during the relatiionship. she never made it clear to me that she was unhappy. how was i suppose to know? when we broke up, she also said that shes mad at herself for staying with me for as long as she did. she shoould have broke up with me a while ago. it makes me mad that she was so upset for so long and never told me that she felt this way. when we had arguments, i figured they were just arguments and we would resolve them. to her, they were reasons to leave and each time she got closer and closer to leaving. she never got over the arguments and let them all build up until she finally burst. she should have let me know that she was still upset about an argument instead of just ignoring it and bringing it up again later. im so mad at myself for letting this happen. how can i forgive myself for letting her go? like i said, i knew things werent going well but i didnt think they were bad enough to break up and she was moving home in two weeks so i figured we could just tough it out until she moved back. I dont feel like im making any progress. i still think about it 24/7 and find myself on the verge of breaking down and crying all the time. i miss her SO much. ive been miserable without her. its been two months since we broke up and i still think of ways to get her back even though i know there is no way she will come back. shes completley moved on. she doesnt care about me at all anymore. she is fine with never seeing me again. shes acting like i cheated on her or slapped her around. we just had communication problems while being long distance and she acted like it was the end of the world and broke up with me. i cant take this much longer. i feel like im getting worse. i was ok last week but i feel like crap again this week. and i know the weekend is going to suck bc those are the worst. all i think about is the things me and her did on the weekends and how shes doing that with this other guy now. it makes me sick. im not going to get better unless she comes back to me so i guess that means im not going to get better.
Rorschach64 Posted August 25, 2011 Posted August 25, 2011 John, My ex fiancee was the same in respect to being great in the relationship, to a degree, but it is now I realize she really didn't do as much as I did but instead only took more than gave. An example: She would get upset at me and bottle it up because of the fact I wanted to go to the gym with my brother for a miserable hour instead of talking to her for four hours instead of three. In the end, after I accomidated myself for her, she accused me of being clingy as hell! It isn't your fault she bottled stuff up and never talked things through like a normal healthy adult. I am also going to assume you actually tried your damn best to accomidate her feelings too and all she wanted was more and more. It is funny you mention arguments, my ex-f ended things because of 'too much hurt' after our very first agrument! Your stand point on resolving arguments and etc, is in my mind, a logical stance! It is NOT your fault things came to this, it is HER fault! Relationships are not a solo effort but a dual effort, and she didn't pick up the slack what so ever from what you are saying. I know how you feel man, I cannot tell you that enough, today is our first meet time and we would celebrate it the last two years with happy fun times stuff, but I have not gotten even a simple "Go screw yourself" message what so ever today and I do not expect it. You must come to the realization: 1. That love is technically an addiction, a dependancy, and so forth 2. She is gone and is never going to come back man, you still have a future and you need to stop caring as to how she is feeling and why she did what she did because you will never know the answers. Occupy yourself with things to do, think about how bloody awesome you are, go to the gym and release those endorphines (spelling?), and never give up on the future and your well deserved happiness to come.
Chi townD Posted August 25, 2011 Posted August 25, 2011 Get back to being angry! Screw her and her "happiness" She is selfish, now it's your turn to be selfish, and focus on your own happiness!!! Let her be happy until daisy's shoot out her butt, not your concern anymore! You need to start to heal and making yourself happy. If you were angry, then that's a very good sign, tells me you're healing. You have a long way to go, but you're progessing nicely. I still suggest you see your Doctor for anti-depressants. However, you're doing good. Keep it up!
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