Need strenght to leave he likes porn more than me

[worldover98]

As a male who frequently uses internet erotica, I suspect your man resorts to it because it has immediate results to satisfy, and it's safer than meeting someone else to do the real thing. My marriage is considered sexless because we do it about twice a year. I'm the one with the hi-libido and she lost hers after our second kid. So I'm left to wander and feel reluctant to be rejected after always trying to get her in the mood. Wife and I used to enjoy looking a erotica together, she even would let me photograph her knowing how much it turned me on. All of that was finished and I was left to either start heading out to cheat or find my thrills online.

 

Your husband is probably seeking some variety because you two are not connecting. Are you not being open minded enough? Try to remember how you two first came together. He probably still digs you but knows he cannot change you, especially if your attitudes are hardening and becoming less flexible and fun. Explore. Surprise him with some whip cream or something,serve him and have him serve you.

 

I get tired of looking at erotica on the internet but it is all I have. I cannot change my wife, she must do that herself. We do counseling but even then she refuses to see her shortcomings. And we do have children so leaving is not so easy. Probably if I ever met someone who walked into my life who fit a profile to my desire and was fire engine hot, it would certainly risk my marriage because I might not be able to resist and would start an extramarital affair. Meanwhile, although I don't see myself as an addict, I do realize online erotica is my sole outlet for sexual stimulant.

[Lucky_One]

Just because I have the tunnel that he has to get permission to enter does not mean that I am responsible for his sexual self esteem. Yes, we women have to open the tunnel and let him in, but that does not make it all the women's fault when they are in a sexless or bad sex marriage. We women need to realize that. Seems in society when you hear sexless marriage it is automatically assumed that the women has closed off the tunnel.

 

Really? You have the tunnel that he has to get permission to enter? Why am I seeing this as sort of...odd?

 

I think that couples counselling would be a good thing here. I don't see a porn addiction (clothed pictures on Flikr and one week of masturbating to 3 DVD's??) here, but I do see a lot of sexual issues.

 

As for blaming a bad economy on not having a job, I would suggest that if you really want to leave your marriage, you apply for any job out there. If you have to work in a convenience store, then it would be worth it, if you really want a divorce. There are more jobs out there than you believe. Minimum wage is certainly liveable, if you want out bad enough. You might not live well, but you will live free - if you really want freedom.