sagirl1891 Posted August 23, 2011 Posted August 23, 2011 hey guys- I've been talking to this guy for almost a month now - constantly texting back and forth. we've seen each other a few times (we live in different states). He seems sincere when we talk/hang out, but I just met a bunch of his friends through mutual friends who say he's a huge player. The thing is, we're not exclusive, so if he's talking to other girls, I shouldn't be pissed, right? Is this a huge red flag? I don't know what to believe.
Andy_K Posted August 23, 2011 Posted August 23, 2011 If he's a player, chances are he's doing more than 'talking' with other girls. But you know this since you're not exclusive, right?
FitChick Posted August 23, 2011 Posted August 23, 2011 If you're not exclusive, it's none of your business who he dates nor is who you date any of his business.
Nikki Sahagin Posted August 23, 2011 Posted August 23, 2011 Question is, do you WANT to be exclusive? If so, state it or get out. But if not, its acceptable for him to be speaking or doing whatever else with other girls.
grkBoy Posted August 23, 2011 Posted August 23, 2011 hey guys- I've been talking to this guy for almost a month now - constantly texting back and forth. we've seen each other a few times (we live in different states). He seems sincere when we talk/hang out, but I just met a bunch of his friends through mutual friends who say he's a huge player. The thing is, we're not exclusive, so if he's talking to other girls, I shouldn't be pissed, right? Is this a huge red flag? I don't know what to believe. Seen topics like this before. Advice is the same - tread carefully and don't fall into the lust trap. That means take a chance if you want, but be ready and willing to drop him and walk when you see things you don't like. Don't sit there and start dismissing things and forgiving things in the hopes to keep him.
Pierre Posted August 23, 2011 Posted August 23, 2011 hey guys- I've been talking to this guy for almost a month now - constantly texting back and forth. we've seen each other a few times (we live in different states). He seems sincere when we talk/hang out, but I just met a bunch of his friends through mutual friends who say he's a huge player. The thing is, we're not exclusive, so if he's talking to other girls, I shouldn't be pissed, right? Is this a huge red flag? I don't know what to believe. Forget the term exclusive. If he is sleeping with other women while actively dating you it simply means you are not special. Furthermore, it puts you at risk of STDs. Simply ask him: "Are you seeing other women?" If he is seeing only you then you have the onset of something special. If he is seeing other women you are no more than another fish on the sea despite his words. If he lies to you about seeing other women you know you have a potential cheater in your hands and a person with no integrity.
Pierre Posted August 23, 2011 Posted August 23, 2011 If you're not exclusive, it's none of your business who he dates nor is who you date any of his business. I disagree. If you are serious about dating I would not recommend you date a guy that is currently sleeping with many women. Unless, you are also simultaneously dating many men. If that is the case the two of you are made for each other.
KathyM Posted August 23, 2011 Posted August 23, 2011 hey guys- I've been talking to this guy for almost a month now - constantly texting back and forth. we've seen each other a few times (we live in different states). He seems sincere when we talk/hang out, but I just met a bunch of his friends through mutual friends who say he's a huge player. The thing is, we're not exclusive, so if he's talking to other girls, I shouldn't be pissed, right? Is this a huge red flag? I don't know what to believe. You have no claim on him. You're not even dating him, since you only see each other rarely and live in different states. You're just one of the ponies in his stable. Why bother to spend any time on a guy that not available to have a relationship with? Doesn't make any sense to me.
Feelsgoodman Posted August 23, 2011 Posted August 23, 2011 hey guys- I've been talking to this guy for almost a month now - constantly texting back and forth. we've seen each other a few times (we live in different states). He seems sincere when we talk/hang out, but I just met a bunch of his friends through mutual friends who say he's a huge player. The thing is, we're not exclusive, so if he's talking to other girls, I shouldn't be pissed, right? Is this a huge red flag? I don't know what to believe. If they were actually his friends, they wouldn't be saying that about him even if he was a player. Sounds like some loser is trying to cock block him.
zengirl Posted August 23, 2011 Posted August 23, 2011 hey guys- I've been talking to this guy for almost a month now - constantly texting back and forth. we've seen each other a few times (we live in different states). He seems sincere when we talk/hang out, but I just met a bunch of his friends through mutual friends who say he's a huge player. The thing is, we're not exclusive, so if he's talking to other girls, I shouldn't be pissed, right? Is this a huge red flag? I don't know what to believe. You have no right to be pissed, but it's still a red flag if you want a relationship. It means he's not really relationship material/doesn't want a relationship with you/isn't in that place. It doesn't mean he's bad or wrong, but it might mean he's bad or wrong for you, if that's what you're after (a relationship).
John Michael Kane Posted August 23, 2011 Posted August 23, 2011 I disagree. If you are serious about dating I would not recommend you date a guy that is currently sleeping with many women. Unless, you are also simultaneously dating many men. If that is the case the two of you are made for each other. But the point remains: She's not his boyfriend so really she has no say over who else he sees.
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