filmbuffy Posted August 23, 2011 Posted August 23, 2011 My girlfriend of 3 years abruptly broke up with me almost 5 weeks ago; told me she didn't love me anymore, the spark was gone, no chemistry. She felt we had become just friends, best friends. The same time she "fell" out of love with me someone new had come into her life..... She was opposed to trying to work things out, go to therapy, etc. She just quit us. But, and there is always a but, she wants to remain friends. Three weeks after breaking up with me, she moved in with this new person, who also ended a 4 year/engagement with her girlfriend to be with my ex. First, can a relationship, like theirs last? So rushed, both deceiving their girlfriends for a couple of months before ending things with either. Second, my ex is insistent on remaining friends and texts me daily..... what is she trying to accomplish here? Am I being played? If things don't work out with this new gal is she keeping me in the wings? I am determined to win her back but don't want to be anyone's patsy. I know everyone advises the NC rule... but I still have a little bit of fight in me and like I said earlier, I am determined to win her back!
PegNosePete Posted August 23, 2011 Posted August 23, 2011 The same time she "fell" out of love with me someone new had come into her life..... Well what an amazing coincidence. Funny how they happened around the same time you think? Believe me my friend, it is no coincidence. She was cheating on you buddy. she wants to remain friends Yeah, they always say that. Tell her you will not accept a demotion to friend and if she is no longer in love with you then you are going to move on and go NC with her. First, can a relationship, like theirs last? Who gives a crap man? You need to concentrate on YOU, not her. I am determined to win her back! Sorry, you need to get real. She cannot be won back if she does not want to be won back. And if she wanted to be won back, she would not be with someone else, she would be knocking on your door begging for forgiveness.
cowboysmavs Posted August 23, 2011 Posted August 23, 2011 Sounds to me like she has definitely moved on for the moment and so should you. If she still is texting you that is obviously a sign she still has something for you. BUT you can't wait around for her. You need to start moving on yourself. You're not going to be able to "fight" your way into anything. I think its "possible" for their relationship to work out altough HIGHLY unlikely because of the speed in which they moved. All those red hot feelings she has for him will fade eventually and if she loves him they will stay together. If not, she might realize what she's missing. I've had something similar to happen to me. My ex still tries to get back with me to this day almost 2 years later.
geegirl Posted August 23, 2011 Posted August 23, 2011 First, can a relationship, like theirs last? So rushed, both deceiving their girlfriends for a couple of months before ending things with either. No one can predict that. Anything could happen. Second, my ex is insistent on remaining friends and texts me daily..... what is she trying to accomplish here? Am I being played? If things don't work out with this new gal is she keeping me in the wings? You're the fallback. An ego boost. Someone waiting in the wings. Besides, you should be telling her you can't be friends because you can't while you are still emotional about her. And why would you want to be friends with someone who may have possibly cheated on you as the timeline is really sketchy. I am determined to win her back but don't want to be anyone's patsy. I know everyone advises the NC rule... but I still have a little bit of fight in me and like I said earlier, I am determined to win her back. I think you're romaticizing this a little too much. Fight for someone who is worthy of fighting for. First of all, I don't believe she wants to be "won". Secondly, what are you winning back? Someone who told you that they don't love you anymore because she nows fancies someone else (was probably playing both sides). Yes, that is a prize to be won.
Recommended Posts