JulesGules Posted August 23, 2011 Posted August 23, 2011 My ex boyfriend and I were together for a year. I still love him. We broke up about 3 months ago. When we broke up I kept to NC for 6 weeks, then he texted me saying we need to talk. I was doing pretty well by that point. Then I did the most terrible thing. I showed up at his house at 2am and we had sex. He texted me a few days later saying we still need to talk, but I am pretty sure he wants to talk to get my "permission" to date the other woman, and to ease his guilt for breaking up with me. Is there anything I can do now to get him back? I was going to text him "I know that night didn't make a lot of sense and I need to move on. Please do not contact me," to re-start NC and turn the tables on him, but I didn't And, it has been a month since then so is it too late to send that text? Is there anything else I can do to get him back?
geegirl Posted August 23, 2011 Posted August 23, 2011 Is there anything I can do now to get him back? I was going to text him "I know that night didn't make a lot of sense and I need to move on. Please do not contact me," to re-start NC and turn the tables on him, but I didn't And, it has been a month since then so is it too late to send that text? Is there anything else I can do to get him back? So you're thinking of sending that text to get a reaction from him, almost placing a threat of some sort to jolt him into action. It's not about you really wanting to start healing and detaching from him, if I am reading that right. If that is the case, it won't work. It may cause a panic reaction but not enough to get what you want from him. The oldest trick in the book and it never works and if it does, it's all for the wrong reasons. Aside from him 1) breaking up with you 2) wanting to date another woman, what about that is not enough for you to get a grasp of the fact that he is moving on and there is nothing else you can do to get him back? If you have to manipulate, convince, play games, coax, etc. for someone to want to be with you, doesn't that tell you that it's time to let that person go? Someone should willingly and unconditionally want to be with you. You won't need silly table turning games to get them to come your way. You said you were feeling fine after 6 weeks of NC. You know you are able to get to that stage where you're feeling good again about yourself. Why are you moving backwards even when you know he's wanting to move on?
Author JulesGules Posted August 23, 2011 Author Posted August 23, 2011 (edited) I know if I didn't sleep with him that night we still had a chance. I guess I want to hurt him cause he hurt me. And I hope that text can help me move on Edited August 23, 2011 by JulesGules
geegirl Posted August 23, 2011 Posted August 23, 2011 I know if I didn't sleep with him that night we still had a chance. I guess I want to hurt him cause he hurt me. And I hope that text can help me move on If you slept with him, didn't sleep with him, whatever, if he wanted to be with you, he would. You're finding a reason to help justify why he doesn't want to be with you. The thing is he broke up with you 3 months ago and in that span of time never came back with anything of substance to indicate he wants to get back except to say he wants to talk, pre and post sex. And "talk" to you means/meant he is wanting to date someone else. Whether you had sex or not, he was moving on. He's of a different mindset. He won't be hurt as much as you are because his feelings are completely different from yours and of a different level of intensity. The only person that is going to get hurt by sending the text, is you. If you are sending the text to move on, then move on. Just don't use it as leverage to get what you want. It will backfire on you and cause you more confusion and drama.
Recommended Posts