lolabee Posted August 23, 2011 Posted August 23, 2011 hi all. i have somewhat of a unique situation, and wanted some advice. About 3 months ago, while in a train station, I started a casual conversation with a guy, and it ended up we talked there and on the train for nearly 3 hours until I got off the train. There was an instant connection, and it ended with a small kiss and a plan to meet up when he returned from europe a couple months later. We kept in touch while he was away, sporadically, but then some time passed where we didn't talk. When he returned, he texted me and wanted to meet up. We set up a date for the next week [he lives in 2.5 hrs away from me] so we planned a whole day date. Was a great day, and ended with some romance, kissing and a bit more, then he went home. He talked about coming again to see me, but was not specific when. Now, since then [about 3 weeks have passed], I have mostly been the one sending texts, but he always answers almost immediately, and we have talked by phone a handful of times [him calling me usually], with often a flirtatious suggestion. I have asked him a couple times when we will meet up, and that possibly I would be in Chicago if he wanted to get together. He expresses interest, but that he is busy [working and helping with his sister's kids], and will do his best to see me. We have set up another meeting next week for him to come to see me, but my questions are: Is he interested, or is he just being polite in responding to my texts? Should he be pursuing me more? When someone says their busy, without hinting at when they might be available, or a desire to see me soon, is that a red flag? If someone rarely intitiates communication, but always responds right away when I reach out, what does this mean? Would he come all the way to see me if he wasn't interested? Thanks!
Emilia Posted August 23, 2011 Posted August 23, 2011 I think distance is an issue for him. I think he likes you but he doesn't actively want to encourage you because he probably isn't after a long distance relationship but he doesn't know how to tell you. If I were you I would ask him, especially as he calls you sometimes so it's not like the contact is one sided. However I suspect you won't like the answer.
Author lolabee Posted August 23, 2011 Author Posted August 23, 2011 thanks emilia... i think there are alot of things up in the air in his life with him, plus he has led a life up to this point of travelling extensively and is probably used to not having consistent relationships.. i have had a discussion with him in regards to us getting together [and the vagueness surrounding it] and that he seems not as interested in pursuing it... he responded by saying that he needs me to be less intense right now, and that there will be more times to come together [like our first date], 'don't worry!' so... i guess i should just let it be... next week when we see each other i will discuss some things in person.. we'll see!
Emilia Posted August 23, 2011 Posted August 23, 2011 He sounds a bit flaky. Maybe not a bad one to pass
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