M2155 Posted August 23, 2011 Posted August 23, 2011 So 2 yr relationship. No serious problems, had fun, very easy, few fights, met people close to him and shared everything! I don't know if I seriously loved him yet, but imagined a life with him. The only negative was that his real estate business was taking a major hit and I know that probably threatened his manhood for lack of a better word since I run a successful practice and did not need him to pick up the check if you know what I mean. We were downsliding and I didn't feel I was a priority anymore for him, but how petty can I be knowing he had to be out kicking his agents' butt so he can pay his bills? Once in a while I would get impatient and chase (something I know is BAD now), felt the effort was getting one-sided, but then other times we had a blast! We agreed we needed to make time for our relationship. Great!! But little did I know the end was coming:eek: I know breakups don't happen "out of nowhere" but ours caught me off guard. I found out through a mutual friend he was talking to HIS ex and for a week or two up that point, he had been extremely distant so I asked what's up. I am not sure I went about it right as you can't make a man talk, but I pushed and he ran. I didn't accuse, but he started dodging me big time. Finally I got a very cold text saying he "wasn't sure" he could stay in the relationship. I asked him to explain/discuss (not in a beggy way) but he ignored me so I sent him an email calling him a coward and that it was over. I feel like he did it on purpose:mad:. Having shared so much, I felt more disrespected than anything. I could have dealt with losing a lover but I didn't even get the chance to "agree to the breakup." I could have understood need for space. STRAIGHT IGNORED other than that one text. 2 weeks into NC now and it's starting to hurt again. Sure I cried into my ice cream the first day or two and gave everyone my sob story, but then I thought I WAS OK. Tried making a little game of NC in my journal and even chatting with guys on dating sites. Then today I broke down crying out of nowhere having flashbacks. (I'm wondering if I did love him:confused:). I've even thought of ALL the things I would have done better and yes, there were some. So here I am despite knowing he can be cowardly, that he may have cheated, that he didn't make the effort, he behaved like an ass, that everyone says he's a loser- I STILL WANT HIM BACK. I don't know anything about his ex but I'm surprised he fell into the arms of another woman other than she is young and bubbly smiley-face type if that makes any sense. I had tried to give him space to work! Maybe he was looking for an ego-booster, I don't know, but can't compete with history. Here I am wanting to be the ex he comes back to, but wondering if he never really left her. I think/thought he's a good guy and guilt will bring him to at least admit it was hurtful (my friend says he knew he was wrong so there was nothing he ever needed to say). I could not do that to a person. I don't know if there is a real question here. I've been dumped before but when it's done "the right way" it is easier to mourn and then get over. I know I need to move-on to someone better, stop wasting my time and all, people get over it everyday! But I can't help but want us to reconcile because we were a good match. Of course now that he thinks I think he's a coward, maybe the ego will never let him:rolleyes:.
citrusdrop1688 Posted August 23, 2011 Posted August 23, 2011 You guys were together for two years? After that long you still werent sure if you loved him? Maybe that was one of the problems. Two years is a very long time to be imagining a life together without ever saying those words to eachother.
wilsonx Posted August 23, 2011 Posted August 23, 2011 If you didn't love him, you would not be suffering now. Its going to hurt for a while, take some time to yourself, start doing things that you consider is fun and find out who you are and what you like doing other then running a business. Enjoy life. He is a coward, you don't want a reconciliation. Your relationship will never be the same if you do have one. It will be toxic because you will actually resent him for ending it even if you wont admit it to yourself There is no easy way to get over a 2 year relationship, dont fool yourself. It takes time
Spices Posted August 23, 2011 Posted August 23, 2011 It sounds like you didn't get the closure that you deserved.
Author M2155 Posted August 23, 2011 Author Posted August 23, 2011 Closure for me is knowing why it happend and in this case I feel I do even though he kept it to himself. I have forgiven him in my heart but can't help but have a little anger. I'm not mad at how he felt, just that he could not tell me and chose this method instead. I'm sure he had some weak excuse, and for that it would definitely take some time to rebuild trust if we ever become friends again, but maybe WilsonX is right. I know sometimes breakups/NC can be the best thing for your relationship because you can see clearly if/how much that person really meant to you. I've had serious relationships before without saying ILY, I'm better at showing it. True we were long over the rush and excitement phase, but maybe leftover feelings for his ex was always our barrier, this is a new one on me. Trying to do all the "moving on" stuff but it hurts nonetheless. Thank you LS supporters.
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