confused1983 Posted August 22, 2011 Posted August 22, 2011 I have been seeing a new guy for a couple if months, we met when a couple of my friends and i went on holiday and one of them invited a friend to make numbers up. A few weeks before the holiday i had broken up with my boyfriend following a termination, my ex is a bit younger than me (I'm 27 he is 24) and didnt want to continue with the pregnancy, he was scared, we both were but after it happened we both regretted it and it tore us apart. I think getting involved with the new guy was a rebound, we seemed to get on well and i felt close to somebody. He lives a 2 hour train journey away so I only see him at the weekends. I'm also going abroad for 6 months in a couple of weeks - he knew this from the start but still wanted to see me when we got back from holiday. When it came to booking my flights to go abroad he booked one too so he could spend the first 2 weeks out there with me. He was only supposed to come if my dad couldn't (he's just had a knee replacement), but my dad was cleared and is able to come, but the bf booked a ticket too. Now I'm really regretting getting involved with him without resolving the issues with my ex. I no longer want to be with him. My ex lives locally and knows my family and recently we've bumped into each other and spent some time together, we still care for one another and if things had been different we'd still be together. My problem is that I dont know how to end things with the guy im seeing. The flight is non refundable and was £950, I have spoken to the travel agent and we can't change the name on the ticket either so the money is lost. I feel like I should pay him the money for the flight, but I don't have that kind of money to spare. My friends say I don't owe him anything as he wanted to book the ticket. I thought I could say for him to come away but as a friend only and then if he decides not to come it would be his decision? But then I'm worried about giving him that option as I dont want him to come.
123BeachFan Posted August 22, 2011 Posted August 22, 2011 He might be able to apply a portion of that ticket value towards a future flight if he cancels this flight prior to his departure date. But regardless, you should call him and tell him not to come. Yes it is an expensive ticket, but it will be worse if he comes to visit and you feel compelled to "fake it" with him. Or if you tell him when he arrives how you feel, you're then stuck together because he's not going to be able to fly home early.
Author confused1983 Posted August 23, 2011 Author Posted August 23, 2011 I've spoke to the travel agent, and they wont let the money be used towards another flight, the only option, wheich is not really any sort of dolution, is to cancel at 100% loss. How can they do that?! I don't know how to tell him that its over, its not even a serious relationship, if he hadnt booked that flight I wouldnt even be hesitating, but the fact is he has spent a lot of money and I feel responsible for him losing it.
geegirl Posted August 23, 2011 Posted August 23, 2011 No one wants to be led on. The right thing to do would be to tell him the truth. Once you do that, you will deal with the "money" issue. He may just cut his losses and let you be. He may rant and rave and want his money back. Who knows. You will cross that bridge when you get to it. What's most important is that you are honest. It would be more infuriating and hurtful to him if he came all the way for nothing and in the process, still ended up wasting all that money and time.
cowboysmavs Posted August 23, 2011 Posted August 23, 2011 First I think you should be straight forward with him and tell him how you feel. That is what messes us up the most. Girls sometimes give these vague statements and then there is some sort of hope. Just tell him the truth bluntly but in a nice way. As far as the ticket is concerned I feel you should ATLEAST reimburse him half because he kind of got lead along into it. That is a crap load of money to lose out on. You may not technically OWE him but its the right thing to do in my opinion.
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