Pierre Posted August 24, 2011 Posted August 24, 2011 Those are all excellent points and make perfect sense. You've been very helpful. I'm a little unclear now though about where my hands should be. :s Question for you guys, would it be a bad idea to try to kiss her right at work or should it wait for a real date? There are plenty of places to hide and I think it might add even more excitement for the both of us... Over the years I kiss after staring into her eyes and drifting my gaze to her lips and back to her eyes. At this point I am a bit mesmerized and may say you are so beautiful as I get closer. My right hand gently caresses the side and back of her neck and I approach her lips very slowly and softly kiss her lips with a subtle biting motion (of course with lips, not teeth). Do not use your tongue unless she initiates.
thatone Posted August 24, 2011 Posted August 24, 2011 agree, that was kinda what i was getting at with 'using your whole hand' next time, what pierre described with putting your hand on her jaw/neck. also agree with no tongue until she initiates it.
Author ksmit Posted August 24, 2011 Author Posted August 24, 2011 Over the years I kiss after staring into her eyes and drifting my gaze to her lips and back to her eyes. At this point I am a bit mesmerized and may say you are so beautiful as I get closer. I can see myself doing that. Nice one. also agree with no tongue until she initiates it. From a sanitation standpoint, tongue kind of grosses me out anyway. What do you guys think about having a somewhat romantic conversation (flirty emails) at work, if she says something sweet or flirty I could respond "I could kiss you right now". I think this would help push me in the right direction if she responds well. It doesn't put her under any pressure and gives her a hint it's coming. It also clearly shows my romantic interest so she can either accept or discard it.
thatone Posted August 24, 2011 Posted August 24, 2011 nothing wrong with flirty emails at all. go for it.
Author ksmit Posted August 26, 2011 Author Posted August 26, 2011 Would it be a bad idea to have our first kiss right at work (in complete privacy, of course) or should it wait for a real date? I just hate showing affection when I feel like I'm being watched. Would an elevator not be romantic enough for her or would it turn her on even more? I suppose I could tell by the way she's looking at me whether or not to go for it. She's actually suggested taking elevator in the past but I never realized the intimacy it creates till now. Girls, how would you feel about having your first kiss at work or in an elevator? I know the first kiss is supposed to be special, but to me that would be.
Author ksmit Posted August 26, 2011 Author Posted August 26, 2011 (edited) Right now I think I'm facing a moment of truth. We had a few great emails today but she didn't respond to my last one and left work without even saying goodbye. When I went up to see her (near end of her shift), she was already gone. I have to admit I'm an idiot for not stopping by earlier when I knew for certain she was there, but this is still surprising. *face palm* Once I discovered she was gone, I sent her a text just saying to have a good weekend, and she said you too with a smiley face. Is she just frustrated that I haven't made a move yet or is she testing me to see if I'll go after her? Or am I asking all the wrong questions? Just yesterday we had a nice walk to her car and she seemed enthusiastic and happy to be around me. If I needed you guys more than ever, it's right now. I want to ask her if I said something wrong but doubt that's the right way to handle it. I feel absolutely horrible right now. Potential moves: - Call her and simply express my feelings for her. No more guessing what each other are thinking. - Ask her if I did something to upset her. - Playfully say something like "you left me with no goodbye?" Edited August 26, 2011 by ksmit
robdrm32 Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 call her up and ask her if she wants to get together this weekend. if she does great if not move on.
thatone Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 you NEVER let a girl you're dating out of your sight for a whole weekend without making plans and asking her out. in fact, there's nothing wrong with planning the next date at the end of the current one. you should've asked her to do something this weekend right after that first kiss the other day. you went through a whole friday of emails and texts without asking her out? she's probably thinking you're not interested in her. you should've found something for the two of you to do by yesterday gotten that out of the way first. you need to find something for the two of you to do together before monday and call her.
Author ksmit Posted August 26, 2011 Author Posted August 26, 2011 you NEVER let a girl you're dating out of your sight for a whole weekend without making plans and asking her out. in fact, there's nothing wrong with planning the next date at the end of the current one. you should've asked her to do something this weekend right after that first kiss the other day. I haven't kissed her yet, but I have subtle touched her. That's good to know though, didn't know about the weekend rule. Today she even asked me if I had big plans this weekend. God damn me. you went through a whole friday of emails and texts without asking her out? she's probably thinking you're not interested in her. you should've found something for the two of you to do by yesterday gotten that out of the way first. Eek, I think I know why she ignored me. When she asked what my plans were I ignored the question in all following emails. Goddammit. you need to find something for the two of you to do together before monday and call her. I will call her later today for a walk. Thanks a lot thatone.
thatone Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 (edited) I haven't kissed her yet, but I have subtle touched her. That's good to know though, didn't know about the weekend rule. Today she even asked me if I had big plans this weekend. God damn me. sorry, there was another similar person to you that i was thinking of. that first kiss is this weekend if she isn't frustrated to the point of being done with you. think about it from her point of view, it's been TWO MONTHS and not even a kiss. this must be like pulling teeth for her. Eek, I think I know why she ignored me. When she asked what my plans were I ignored the question in all following emails. Goddammit. pay more attention to subtle hints, assume EVERYTHING she says has something to do with you, your dates, and your potential relationship. she wants you to pick up on those hints, and act accordingly. pay better attention. just as you assume everything she says is a hint, everything you do should be a response to those hints. if you get into a music discussion that means there's a concert coming up you should take her to. if you talk about food, that's a restaurant you should bring her to. if you talk about movies, that's a movie you should take her to. it sounds to me like she is dropping these hints and you are missing them completely. I will call her later today for a walk. Thanks a lot thatone. i would go a step further, but i'm not there looking at her so i don't know the exact situation. i would plan something better than walking around. concert or higher end restaurant dinner or something. and when i pitched that idea i would apologize for not asking her out before friday was over. and turn up the physical contact, 2 months and no kiss is far too slow when she is showing interest in you. first kiss should be end of the second date at the latest. if she gives you another date that first kiss is that day, no excuses. you should also tell her how attracted to her you are to dispel any doubt you have created in her mind with these poor actions on your part from the last couple of days. on the weekend 'rule', these aren't rules per se, just common sense. any attractive woman is gonna get approached if she goes out alone or with female friends on a weekend. you want her to meet some other guy somewhere else? no, of course you don't, so you don't let that opportunity present itself, you make plans with her before a weekend comes around so she isn't going anywhere without you. stop worrying, and use your brain. Edited August 26, 2011 by thatone
Author ksmit Posted August 26, 2011 Author Posted August 26, 2011 (edited) Superb reply as usual thatone. that first kiss is this weekend if she isn't frustrated to the point of being done with you. think about it from her point of view, it's been TWO MONTHS and not even a kiss. this must be like pulling teeth for her. You're absolutely right. Time to man up. i would plan something better than walking around. concert or higher end restaurant dinner or something. and when i pitched that idea i would apologize for not asking her out before friday was over. I already called her up and suggested we got together tomorrow. Without hesitation she said yeah. Apologized for not stopping by to see her and she sort of blamed herself. She's too sweet to try to hurt me, so I'm really thinking I hurt her. What a relief though that she even answered my call. I'm going to find a place to take her tomorrow and call her up later tonight to tell her. What would be even more epic is squeezing in a simple walk tonight and going out tomorrow evening. and turn up the physical contact, 2 months and no kiss is far too slow when she is showing interest in you. first kiss should be end of the second date at the latest. if she gives you another date that first kiss is that day, no excuses. you should also tell her how attracted to her you are to dispel any doubt you have created in her mind with these poor actions on your part from the last couple of days. It's not slow for me, but I guess she's an angel for being this patient for me. I have actually been more flirty with emails than I ever have. I'm always telling her she's beautiful or pretty. I just wish she would flirt more because it would make it a lot easier. I need a girl to be all over me. But those would be whores, so no thanks. Edited August 26, 2011 by ksmit
thatone Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 she doesn't want gifts, she wants YOU to show your attraction to her. do it, two months is about the right time to have these sorts of conversations, be more physically intimate if not sex, etc. the next date is first kiss. the date after that more holding hands, putting your hand on her back when you walk in public, things like that. the date after that is longer more aggressive kissing, etc. every date from here on out should progress a little further, physically.
Author ksmit Posted September 1, 2011 Author Posted September 1, 2011 (edited) EDIT: Meant to post this in other thread, you can delete this post. She's delayed another walk twice now and still avoiding eye contact. She apologized and suggested "maybe" going out tomorrow but I feel like she's just trying to be polite in telling me she doesn't want to be around me. I'm pretty sure it's over now but I'm actually content about it and feel like weight has been lifted. At this point, can I just lay all the cards out and tell her what's really on my mind and be open about it? Otherwise I'm just going to ignore her now until and if she ever comes back to me. I feel like I need to write her a heartfelt farewell. I'd still love to have her. If you guys can dig me out of this one I'll really be in debt to you. Edited September 1, 2011 by ksmit
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