mkbrownie Posted August 22, 2011 Posted August 22, 2011 I want to say thanks before I get any further for at least looking at my thread, I need all the advice I can get. This summer I went to a hostel in the Netherlands with a couple buddies as a Euro-Trip type thing. While there and on the last night, we met a group of German girls and it was strange that I was instantly attracted to and felt a connection with one of the girls. I didn't know her name, and I had no way to contact her. Luckily, one of my friends got the Facebook of one of the other girls and I found her that way. I instantly messaged her saying that I really felt something for her and I wanted to get to know her. It's been about over a month since that night, and there hasn't been a day where I don't yearn for her. I am very convinced I'm in love with her. We talk about every night for hours sometimes, but it seemed like I couldn't connect with her without talking face to face. The other day I decided to just be proactive and send her a letter professing how I couldn't stop thinking about her, and talking to her was the best time of my day no matter what. Right about now I can't imagine a life without this girl. She's amazing to me, but I feel afraid that by sending that letter that I have ruined my chances with her. Did I move too fast and take a step that I should have waited to take? Gosh I could write so much more about her...I ****ING LOVE HER AND IT FEELS FANTASTIC TO SAY IT!
LittleTiger Posted August 22, 2011 Posted August 22, 2011 I don't quite understand what's happened. You didn't get to know this girl well enough in person to even ask her name and yet you felt a 'connection'? Then you found her on facebook and have been chatting for hours every day but you don't feel there's a connection. So you've decided you love her and have told her? Your post is a little confusing. Can you please clarify?
Author mkbrownie Posted August 22, 2011 Author Posted August 22, 2011 Ok so I can see how that would be confusing. Let me try and fix that. What I'm saying is this: when I first saw her I felt an immediate attraction and a connection that I can only describe as like a love at first sight kind of deal. And what I meant by not feeling a connection when chatting was that in, say, 6 hours of chatting from start to finish, there is maybe 3 hours of free flowing, fast paced conversation that is enjoyable for both of us, the rest seems like I have to egg her on talking. However I have been convinced that I loved her since I laid eyes on her, so in a letter to her house I told her that "I couldn't stop thinking about her" and loved every minute of talking to her. So for me my question is, not whether I love her or not, but whether I made the right decision sending her a letter professing this even though at times it seems she is ignoring me for like 30 minutes or so, and that it has only been a month or so. I'm afraid I moved things too fast. Does that make sense, because it does in my head im just having trouble putting it into words.
LittleTiger Posted August 22, 2011 Posted August 22, 2011 6 hours of chatting - in one session? On the phone? On skype? On msn? If you're chatting for 6 hours, in whatever format, I'd say 3 hours of free-flowing conversation is pretty good. Not many people have that much time to devote to talking to someone in a different country. She's probably busy doing something else in the 30 mins when you don't hear from her. If all you said is that you can't stop thinking about her and loved every minute of talking to her then no, I don't think you ****ed up. She obviously enjoys talking to you too. Just take it as it comes. Unless her behaviour has changed since you said this, I wouldn't worry about it.
Author mkbrownie Posted August 22, 2011 Author Posted August 22, 2011 we chatted on facebook. I guess it's tough to explain. I completely get that she must like me SOME to talk to me long or she just wouldn't respond, but like maybe it's just her personality, but when I talk to other girls the conversation seems way more fun and spontaneous. These next few days are going to be awful...
LittleTiger Posted August 22, 2011 Posted August 22, 2011 If talking with her is not as much fun or as spontaneous as it is with other girls why do you think you love her? This sounds like infatuation based on a few seconds/minutes (or whatever it was) when you actually met her.
madjac74 Posted August 22, 2011 Posted August 22, 2011 This sounds like a case of puppy love. Oooh it seemed so cute and fun at the pet shop and then you get it home and it eats your favorite shoes and poops on your bed. Not so cute anymore. I'm guessing you are really young. Not that infatuation can't strike us all of course. I think it's cool that you wrote a letter though. Who does that anymore? I had a "friend" when I was in my early twenties who moved away before email and cell phones were around and letters and an occassional phone call were our only means of communication. I can't imagine how LDR's ever survived back then
Author mkbrownie Posted August 22, 2011 Author Posted August 22, 2011 I admit to being a romantic person at heart, and I definitely understand what you said about puppy love. Kind of seems like that, with the only exception being that I still love this puppy as much as I did in the store .
Author mkbrownie Posted August 23, 2011 Author Posted August 23, 2011 I wanted to give all who were kind enough to answer an update... She still hasn't received the letter, but I started up school again, and that has actually helped our talking, so now whatever time we have is all fantastic conversations, even if they aren't as long. I'll post another one of these after she receives the letter and tell you what she says...I'm anxiously awaiting that day. Thanks!
Author mkbrownie Posted August 24, 2011 Author Posted August 24, 2011 i don't think I ever said I did, because it would be a lie if I told you because she has never told me. I know I love her, but that's a different story. And yea it's really just FB chat, we skype rarely
Audrina Posted August 25, 2011 Posted August 25, 2011 I'm in a long distance relationship and I feel like that initial feeling that you feel for one another is very intense but it's not love. I thought I was in love with my boyfriend until I met him in person and I realized that you know, I wasn't yet. Now, months later, I am and it feels much, much different.
Author mkbrownie Posted August 26, 2011 Author Posted August 26, 2011 Thanks Audrina, yea honestly this is the first time I've experienced anything like this for any girl. And a question specifically for you and all the girls out there: I'm still at the point in my relationship with her where we still haven't expressed our feelings for each other. Obviously I know what I feel, but I'm very unsure of how she feels. This is probably a question men across the world have (that being, does she feel the way I do?). However, I'm really not sure if she does. My issue is she hasn't once initiated a conversation with me. I have to initiate each one, and sometimes the conversation will die and I am the one who says something to keep it going. I mean, I KNOW, she likes me in some way, I mean what's the point of a girl across the world talking almost everyday to a guy she barely knew? I guess my admitedly jumbled question to the girls is when you were first talking to your LDR, did you initiate conversations, or did you prefer to wait until he did? Thanks for bearing with me as I ranted lol.
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