ColettesDream Posted August 21, 2011 Posted August 21, 2011 So I was with my boyfriend for 3 months before he went to the states with his family for 2 months. We're 15. He called me a week before he broke up with me, and I knew something was completely wrong. Then he practically ignored me for a week before having the courage to call me again. Then he told me that he didn't think we should date anymore. He didn't tell me he was leaving me for another girl. But I'm not stupid and I found out that he did. It's been almost a month (which he's ignored me most of the time) and he still hasn't told me anything of the sort. He comes back in a week and I've asked to meet up with him. He's too much of a coward to respond to me. I just want to yell and scream at him so bad. But I can't and that makes me even more upset. But worst of all, I feel like such an idiot for believing all the **** he told me and promised me. I knew, all along that I was being stupid. I didn't do anything. I know I deserve so much better than this pig, but I just feel so confused and cold. I don't know what to do. I also just feel embarrassed by all this. I feel embarrassed that I was such an idiot. I've always been known for being the "smart girl" with a "good head on her shoulders". Now I just feel... used. Unwanted. Stupid. So incredibly stupid. I know I don't need this guy, but I just want to feel loved again. I don't know how to get him out of my mind. I just want to be the lively girl I once was, but no matter how much I tell myself all of this, I can't get over it. I don't know who to turn to. I'm too embarrassed to turn to anyone. Please, if you have any advice, or a story of what happened to you or anything at all, I'd love to hear it. I thank all of you so much in advance, even if you only read it.
ThatBwoii Posted August 22, 2011 Posted August 22, 2011 You're young, this is just a learning curve, and belive me, we ALL go through it, its these kinds of things that will make you a better person in the future, so just sit back and relax, you hav all th time in the world and theres no reason to want to settle down yet. have fun!
Nohbody Posted August 22, 2011 Posted August 22, 2011 Seconded. The sad thing is, I'm edging on 30 and my girlfriend left me for another guy. Trust your instincts, and don't do this to someone in the future. And just ignore him, he's a douche.
Finch Posted August 22, 2011 Posted August 22, 2011 Sweetie, this may not be a lot of comfort right now but like the first two responses told you, you're young. Young men and young women don't always know yet how to deal with the uncomfortable parts of relationships, like how to end them in a polite and straightforward way. The guy you were with probably didn't want to hurt you, he just doesn't have the tact and maturity to be honest with you about what actually happened. You're hurting right now. You feel angry at him and angry at yourself, but it's all part of learning about how people relate to each other. You're going to meet a lot of guys, and some not fun things are going to happen. You're probably going to get hurt again, get your heart broken, and break a few hearts yourself. When I was 15 I met my first real boyfriend. We didn't go to the same high school - (in fact we met at the mall) so we only saw each other on the weekends. We were together for a few months, and then I started to feel like something wasn't quite right. He didn't call as often, and he seemed to be busy on the weekends. One Saturday morning I called to see if he wanted to get together, and his Mother answered the phone. She said "Oh, he's out with Marie" (Not her real name). Marie was a girl who went to his school, and he had mentioned her a couple of times before. I was very upset. Why would he be out with Marie when he was MY boyfriend? If they were just friends why hadn't he told me they were going out somewhere and invited me? When I got in touch with him the next day he told me that he had been spending a lot of time with Marie, and that he wanted to date her instead. He hadn't told me because he didn't know how, so he just let it drag on. Could he have handled that better? Of course. Was I angry? Hells yeah! Angry at him and angry at myself. I felt that he had acted badly and dishonestly, and I was mad that I hadn't broken up with him first. I felt like I had wasted my time even being with him in the first place, and I wished I had all that time back. But you know what? I haven't even thought about that in years! I'm 30 now, and when I think about him I remember him as my first love, and I don't have any hard feelings towards him at all. I was young, he was young. We were both learning. I don't regret meeting him or dating him. A lot of the time we spent together was fun, and I really did enjoy it. The point is, you're going to go through things like this. Life and love and relationships are like that. It's okay to be angry and to feel hurt and to want to scream at him but also to miss him at the same time. It may feel like you can't stop thinking about it, but you will. That feeling of hot and cold at the same time, the way it feels like someone just kicked you in the stomach, where your chest and neck get hot when you think about him, and your heart speeds up and you feel like you might cry or yell or maybe throw something at the wall just so you can break something? Most people have had that same feeling. It doesn't last for too long. It just fades eventually. Might take a couple of weeks, maybe a few months, but soon you'll be looking forward to meeting someone new. This is just one guy, just one experience. Don't let it bring you down too much, because I promise you will bounce back and be ready to do it all again in no time.
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