Anyone here leave their ex. How do you get over the regret?

[proteinshake25]

I left my ex 7 months ago. 2 months into it, I aked to see her, and wanted to make ammends. Ever since then, I've been trying like crazy. I dropped by her work unannounced, she told me she wants to marry the guy she's been dating. They started dating a few weeks before I pursued her. Even while they were dating she would still call me crying saying she could never forgive me. I've dated 4 other girls since her, I would marry my ex. I had a case of gigs, and realize how good I had it. The regret I deal with is just terrible. The only comfort I take, is that if she truly loved me, abnd we were meant to be, she would forgive me. Maybe she would, but it's too late. I regrt waiting so long, how can I move past this?

[WindWhisperer]

Oh... There are tons of girls on this site that wishing and hoping their ex was like you...who had changed their mind.

So it is possible I see.

 

I'm really sorry.

If she was calling you while with a new guy...she obviously wasn't over you.

Are they still together?

 

It is possible that you left it too long or that she is afraid you might hurt her again.

 

Its really up to you to decide whether to continue to pursue or not.

If you know she is happy where she is and content with life then use your love for her to let her go and be happy.

[proteinshake25]

I saw her 2 weeks ago. I mentioned that she is just afraid I will hurt her again, and she didnt reply. She moved in with him as well, I found out through another friend. When I saw my ex 2 weeks ago, the anxiety for both of us was sky high, and I could still see the hurt in her eyes. Im not convinced she's at her happiest place, with this guy. 3 months into their relationship, she was still contacting me. The breakup needed to happen, but the length of time I stayed away from her is something I'll regret.

[The_Good_Me]

I left my ex 7 months ago. 2 months into it, I aked to see her, and wanted to make ammends. Ever since then, I've been trying like crazy. I dropped by her work unannounced, she told me she wants to marry the guy she's been dating. They started dating a few weeks before I pursued her. Even while they were dating she would still call me crying saying she could never forgive me. I've dated 4 other girls since her, I would marry my ex. I had a case of gigs, and realize how good I had it. The regret I deal with is just terrible. The only comfort I take, is that if she truly loved me, abnd we were meant to be, she would forgive me. Maybe she would, but it's too late. I regrt waiting so long, how can I move past this?

 

Hi Proteinshake

 

Sorry to hear you're going through this. Even though you were the original dumper, you're now suffering as a dumpee and I for one wish that feeling on nobody... well perhaps I do on my ex who dumped me

 

I can see that you really want your ex to forgive you regardless of whether or not this means a future for you. She may well forgive you one day but that will only come in time. She's been hurt just as much if not more than you're hurting now. You took away her companion, friend and lover. Forgiveness for doing something like that is going to take time and you need to give her that time to show her you respect her.

 

Unfortunately now you're faced with what the rest of dumpees face... no contact and long road to healing. To initiate no contact and to try and sooth your guilt somewhat, I recommend writing her a hand written letter. Tell her how sorry you are that you left her 7 months ago and you regret hurting her. Tell her you accept her decision to decline your offer of reconciliation and you respect her wishes to marry this new man. Finish off by reassuring her that you will not interfere with her new relationship and wish her the best of luck.

 

If you truly mean it then this should ease your conscience by showing her one final act of love which is to let her go. If you choose to do this, it'll hurt like hell and will do for quite some time. At the same time though you will set yourself up well on the road to healing. You'll need to forgive yourself during NC as stewing in guilt only hurts you more.

 

If you cannot forgive yourself on your own then you may need to seek counselling. I wish you luck and the very best. Live and learn from this experience.

[proteinshake25]

thanks, that letter is a good idea. I actually wrote a lengthy letter descriing my thoughts pre breakup, and about all the things I love and miss about her,but I never sent it. Perhaps it's time for me to send the letter you describe. I was actually thinki ng of not sending anything, the last thing she heard me say, 2 weeks ago, was I love you. I think if I cant have her, I can take some satisfaction in that she heard that from me.

[CopingGal]

I left my ex because he was an ass. I do miss him. I hate the fact that he jumped into another relationship. But I hold on to the fact that the relationship was a bad one. That's how I'm dealing with my regret. My ex is selfish and dumb. So I hold onto that too.

[reimeivn]

she is just not happiest because the hurt you left is still in her heart. even if you get back together, the hurt still gonna be there. i dont think it is a good idea.

[Fedor]

Brah, you should probably stop trying to see her. You need to let her live the life she wants. You broke up with her in the 1st and she had no say in that. Shes taking control and wont let up. Leave it alone.

[John Michael Kane]

I would advise you to stop cheating with her and let her go.

[wilsonx]

Look we gave you the same advice in your other threads that I am going to give you now.

 

You made a mistake, its over, go NC and start moving forward.

 

You can not fix this mistake. Its impossible. Any relationship that you would have in the future with her would be completely toxic. She would never trust you again not to break up with her. I told you this what a month ago?

 

NC means no contact. Stay out of her life, remove her from facebook, live your own life and stop worrying about her. Was the grass greenier on the other side, nope it wasn't and that's something you are going to have to live with. Its been 7 months now. Let her go.

 

It takes time to get over a breakup as both the dumper and the dumpee no matter what anyone says.