triggers

[Dblock10]

i have realised i need to move on now. this girl never cared about me how i had hoped. but lack of communication and how shes been since we officially ended it prove to me she wasnt really worth it all along...

 

anyway.

 

this is my problem: I am moving to the area where i met her and back to the university. so triggers are going to be difficult for me.

 

i need to know how to be strong how not to let them get me down.

 

currently i am doing well at not going on her fb account, i refuse to contact her via txt. so far so good.

 

i just know that its going to get harder as time goes on,

 

1) because she is travelling, so seeing a change in her pro pic is going to haunt me.

2) she will be having an amazing time without me

3) i will be in the area where i met her so things we did, dates etc, seeing her flat etc. the list goes on.

 

 

how can i keep strong?

 

 

so far my happy list in my head is that, i am excited about living in my house with my flat mates whom i met on first year.

 

secondly, i am going to go on the ski trip this year with the uni, as i didnt go last time due to illnesses out of my control

 

thirdly, i am going to join the football team and get involved with people on that.

 

then i am going to be keeping up with working out and getting stronger.

 

 

 

my only fear is that even though i have these good things to come, i fear i will still miss her. and if i don't come across anyone to share these things with i will feel down.

 

she is the type of girl who will move on rapidly. i'm not even surprised if she was seeing someone else or had been for a few weeks.

 

 

its taught me a lesson.

 

dont let someone walk over you. dont BE IN a relationship if you FEEL that the other person doesnt feel the same way you do about them.

[Hlep]

I can completely relate to this trigger feeling. It's like part of the grieving process in the death of a relationship. Just imbrace it and after a while it starts to fade. Just try not to dwell on past memories too much. The memories will slowly fade, and after a while you won't care anymore or think about them that much... especially if you find a new romance. And for the love of God- unfriend her on facebook! or block her! What are you trying to do to yourself man?

[Coupedriver]

I have to admit I have READ about them but until today I never really had any of them...BUT I can tell you one thing....TODAY was a TOTAL wash out...almost lost my job over them.Ok..I will set the STAGE..I am a delivery driver and I am constant contact with shops or job sites that have radios on or music playing.Well I hit the first site and ..( my ex GF told me this was the FIRST song she heard when we first met..) and I am unloading when it comes on..WHY RASCAL FLATS and "God bless the broken road that lead me straight to you.." HOLY flying monkeys Batman...I can feel something inside growing...and it dont feel good...and it dont feel right...I am fighting back TEARS to the MAX..the cracks in my armor are starting to show..the lead unloader is looking at me like I have lost my mind..I can see in the glass that tears are steaking down my face like the HOOVER DAM just broke open...and I dont even know it...his faces kinda changes and he looks at me.."Uh Dave...you ok..? YEAH..hit my fricking shin on the back bumper..UH Dave,we are at the side of the truck..you haven't walked to the back yet..."Now I feel nervous..I am losing what common sense I have..we finish and I out of the there like I have a jet engine up my ass..

But now I dont feel right....****,phone is ringing..its my boss...."Uh Dave...you ok..? "...YEAH..fine..."You almost hit 2 cars when you left that job site..." Oh..ok..sorry...was trying to read the map'' Now Im cool..regaining....driving...hit the next shop...Walk in..."Air Supply.."I'm all out of love..so lost without you.." is playing....OH ****...NOT good Mav..Jeff looks at me.."Dude..you ok..? you look like ****.." Yeah,something I ate this morning.Next site is just a drop so I am out like a flash...Hit the next shop...good old country boy shop and walk in....John Denvers .."Im sorry.." is on...rut ro....what the hell is going on...?? Man..I can feel it coming back like it was yesterday..I can still hear her saying..." I LOVE but I am NOT in love with YOU..I need to FIND myself.."...Like a bad movie...

I dont make it halfway to the truck when I feel myself start to,kinda lean to one side.....I climb in and lose it...I cant even see the steering wheel...I keep living the hurt and pain but have nowhere to go...I hear the cell ringing...next customer calling me to make sure he has enough guys there to help unload....I lose my cool..."YELL..I will get there when I get THERE..!!." slam the phone down...man...and think,all of this at my age....!!! I get back and what else but more music...OLDIES playing...ok..Im safe....Peter and Gordon.." I fall to pieces.."....man I can FEEL the strain at trying to keep it together...My boss is PISSED...."You want to work or get fired..? he asks.."...I stand there not knowing what to say...." I hear the words.."WORK" fall out of my mouth and slowly walk to my truck to go home..A man at 44..( yeah I put down the wrong age with one post..) feeling like this..

The final straw comes about an hour ago...I throw on my hoody to do some welding and when my arm come through the sleeve....all I can see is blond hairs from her wearing it last.....

[ConfusedT]

coupe- i feel for you. everything i do is a trigger of some sort. we literally spent every second of free time together that i had. we texted the majority of the day, talked on the phone while i was at work, did EVERYTHING together like a family.

 

to have someone just up & leave and walk out of your life is completely and utterly devestating. there is nothing you can do about the triggers, they are what they are and they are going to continue to be there. i firmly believe that faith, time and distance are the ONLY things that can really heal a broken heart. Falling in love with someone else, reverting your intense emotions on someone else- i dont personally believe ever really solves the deeply rooted issue and then your just left with the pain during the next round.

 

obviously, we both lost a lot of ourselves in these relationships, but the good thing is. we still have another chance. a chance to smile, a chance to be happy again, a chance to love again.

 

all i know is that (ive said it before too), even if it takes me forever to get over him, i will never subject myself to that type of mistreatment or settle for something that my heart knows is wrong again. i became dependent on another person instead of loving myself first.

 

it will get better, i know its hard to see, hell its hard for me to see. but time takes the pain away & im jus hoping time will pass sooner....

[Coupedriver]

THANKS ConfusedT....I NEEDED some advice....My POOR family and friends..( what I have left..) are SO tired of hearing me talking.I do feel like that...."Completely and utterly devastated.."...I feel ...lost I guess...MAN,did I lose a lot of myself in my relationship....And you hear about how some of these guys mis-treat there wives and GFs and its just beyond me....!! I am NOT perfect by no means but HELL ..I gave A LOT....maybe thats why it hurts more...If you knew HALF of what went on....( to make her happy..)..you would faint....I still cant believe some of it....