sally4sara Posted August 22, 2011 Posted August 22, 2011 Well, clearly you don't have much experience with some of the more traditional or conservative cultures in this world. In my culture (Arab, not Indian) female clothing choices are scrutinized 100x more than men's are. My parents never cared if I wore a bikini but any pics that I have of me at the beach are blocked from view of extended family members or family friends. I saw the pic of TA and I can tell you that if some of my (fellow Arab) friends had a pic like that on facebook they would be read the riot act by their parents. Tigress isn't living in India or Arabia so she does not need to adhere to those cultures. Its great to know about and be respectful towards other cultures but not to the point of giving up your own; that should not be necessary. This isn't Tigress's thread. Discussion about her and her BF's compatibility, his culture, her culture, all that should remain in HER thread.
dreamingoftigers Posted August 22, 2011 Posted August 22, 2011 Well, clearly you don't have much experience with some of the more traditional or conservative cultures in this world. In my culture (Arab, not Indian) female clothing choices are scrutinized 100x more than men's are. My parents never cared if I wore a bikini but any pics that I have of me at the beach are blocked from view of extended family members or family friends. I saw the pic of TA and I can tell you that if some of my (fellow Arab) friends had a pic like that on facebook they would be read the riot act by their parents. I have heard that in some areas women are beaten for immodesty. I am sure that there have been periodic deaths. Social and sexual mores vary greatly globally.
Pyro Posted August 22, 2011 Posted August 22, 2011 I don't feel like looking for these threads but I have seen this mentality on here. I don't condone the men who trash all women without making room for exceptions but don't act like it is so one sided. I will give credit it where it is due and say that there was one thread where a woman was acting like she was entitled to have a man pay for everything and 95% of the women on there did not agree with her. There is a core group of good women on here who I have much respect for. NO ONE is saying that it is one sided. You originally said that the man and women haters are at equal number here and that is very false.
Queen Zenobia Posted August 22, 2011 Posted August 22, 2011 Tigress isn't living in India or Arabia so she does not need to adhere to those cultures. Its great to know about and be respectful towards other cultures but not to the point of giving up your own; that should not be necessary. This isn't Tigress's thread. Discussion about her and her BF's compatibility, his culture, her culture, all that should remain in HER thread. Granted. And I made my thoughts known in that thread. But this thread (according to the OP) was in large part inspired by what the OP felt were undue attacks on TA in her thread. So, in many ways that thread is relevant here. FTR I don't advocate that she must conform to his ideals. However, this may be an issue he won't compromise on and she will either have to accept that or move on if she can't. It doesn't reflect negatively on either party.
Queen Zenobia Posted August 22, 2011 Posted August 22, 2011 I have heard that in some areas women are beaten for immodesty. I am sure that there have been periodic deaths. Social and sexual mores vary greatly globally. Yes, and for the record I don't think that women should be beaten or any of that. And I find a lot of the more restrictive sexual mores to be ridiculous. The people that I know who care about women's clothing (extended family and family friends and such) care about appearances more than anything else. Most of them know their daughters are sleeping around or have boyfriends, they just don't want to see it or be forced to confront the issue. They'd rather pretend that they're really perfectly pious and chaste.
dreamingoftigers Posted August 22, 2011 Posted August 22, 2011 I don't feel like looking for these threads but I have seen this mentality on here. I don't condone the men who trash all women without making room for exceptions but don't act like it is so one sided. I will give credit it where it is due and say that there was one thread where a woman was acting like she was entitled to have a man pay for everything and 95% of the women on there did not agree with her. There is a core group of good women on here who I have much respect for. IME I would say the balance is tilted. On that note, it doesn't bother me so so so much because I expect the balance to be a little tilted. Allow me to explain: men often don't have a best friend they can turn to when relationship crises hit. Most guys that have friends do "stuff" with them. I.e. Watch the game, fix stuff, move stuff, drink. Whatever guy stuff. So when the crisis hits, this is where all of the frustration and anger goes. Anonymous etc. As well, a lot of women have been socialized to believe that they were the fault in a relationship so they are more likely to take the blame then to attack the whole gender. We are also pretty quickly torn down IME when we say anything about the whole opposite gender or if it is even implied. When I found out about my husband's cheating the first time I was very disillusioned. I had over 1000 FB friend's at the time due to gaming (quit that entirely, stupid habit to have). I put up in my status that my heart was broken and I didn't think there were any loyal men anymore. (I had also just discovered my father's affair two weeks prior. Not by my choice or intention either. What a great summer!) Well tons of guys ripped on my status, harsh too. Not one said one kind thing to me about it. I had to remove the post because it was even more depressing. My attitude about men in general wasn't too bad but given the circumstance, jeez. I see "women and their crap" statuses go up all the time and there aren't estrogen death squads on their asses. Oftentimes there's a guy or two saying like "that sucks buddy." If there was a harsh post about men, yeah sure. But how many "women" threads go up? Tons. Of course it doesn't help that men actually are more sensitive to shame and women often don't realize that. Not trying to be prejudicial whatsoever. Men's cortisol levels peak when they perceive shame and criticism. Especially from a partner. The #1 predictor of a man leaving a relationship is shame.
dreamingoftigers Posted August 22, 2011 Posted August 22, 2011 Yes, and for the record I don't think that women should be beaten or any of that. And I find a lot of the more restrictive sexual mores to be ridiculous. You didn't present the impression that you were endorsing it. I just think in point form often. The people that I know who care about women's clothing (extended family and family friends and such) care about appearances more than anything else. Most of them know their daughters are sleeping around or have boyfriends, they just don't want to see it or be forced to confront the issue. They'd rather pretend that they're really perfectly pious and chaste. Sounds just like everywhere else in the world actually I think my father still hopes I am a virgin.
denise_xo Posted August 22, 2011 Posted August 22, 2011 (edited) Tigress isn't living in India or Arabia so she does not need to adhere to those cultures. Yes she lives in the US, but when you enter into a relationship with someone from a different culture, you do also marry into their culture to a certain extent. In many countries, you marry a whole family, not just an individual. I'm saying this as an empirical, rather than a normative statement. People need to take this into consideration when they get attached to someone. Edited August 22, 2011 by denise_xo
denise_xo Posted August 22, 2011 Posted August 22, 2011 Women do get a harder time on here, but I find that an aggressive and methodical is vital and necessary if one desires to teach a woman. For instance, I trained my girlfriend to kiss me on the cheek every time I put it near her face. To achieve this, I used Sour Patch Kids (her favorite candy). I'd take out one Sour Patch Kid, lick one side of it (to make it a little adhesive), and I'd stick it onto my cheek. Then I'd force my Sour Patch'd cheek in her line of vision and personal space bubble (her face). It was amusing to observe her behavior. At first, she was scared, threatened even. Then, she was confused. Finally, she seemed to get it; she'd swiftly take the the Sour Patch Kid with her teeth, then retreat back to eat it. Honestly, from there I don't really know how I got her to transition into kissing. I think it had to do with the sourness of the candy, they puckered her up or something. Pretty remarkable creatures, women. :lmao: Your posts always rock
dreamingoftigers Posted August 22, 2011 Posted August 22, 2011 Women do get a harder time on here, but I find that an aggressive and methodical is vital and necessary if one desires to teach a woman. For instance, I trained my girlfriend to kiss me on the cheek every time I put it near her face. To achieve this, I used Sour Patch Kids (her favorite candy). I'd take out one Sour Patch Kid, lick one side of it (to make it a little adhesive), and I'd stick it onto my cheek. Then I'd force my Sour Patch'd cheek in her line of vision and personal space bubble (her face). It was amusing to observe her behavior. At first, she was scared, threatened even. Then, she was confused. Finally, she seemed to get it; she'd swiftly take the the Sour Patch Kid with her teeth, then retreat back to eat it. Honestly, from there I don't really know how I got her to transition into kissing. I think it had to do with the sourness of the candy, they puckered her up or something. Pretty remarkable creatures, women. You are a fun poster, but that's kinda gross
A O Posted August 22, 2011 Posted August 22, 2011 There are good women but the wrong one can ruin your life. The biggest problem is that men aren't made aware of, anywhere near to the same degree that women are, that there are actually bad people of the opposite sex out there. And what compounds this even more is that women have a bigger issue about being painted in a negative light than men do. In other words, some men can be bad - we "all" get this. But newsflash, so can some women too, but few are made aware of this and that's often to the detriment of many men unfortunately. Also women are just as bad on this forum when it comes to hating men so how come nobody calls them out?The genders are good at calling each other out. There really isn't much difference there. Where there is a big difference though, is in the number of men willing to consistently call out other men. You simply don't see this anywhere near to the same level by women towards other women. There's a core group of men in every facet of life that hold their own gender to account, that are far tougher on their own gender than they ever are towards the opposite sex. Can't say that's a bad thing as long as they hold a balanced point of view. But, that is often not the case. .
dreamingoftigers Posted August 22, 2011 Posted August 22, 2011 I see all the time men get together with women because "they are hot" and even invest savings and time and marriage into them. It's like they don't examine character at all and then wonder why everything didn't work out. It amazes me how many men appear to be blinded by curves. Yes attraction is important but finding the 10 that'll pit the knife in your back doesn't seem that advantageous compared to the 7 or 8 that you will sexually bond to anyways and will truly have your back.
A O Posted August 22, 2011 Posted August 22, 2011 I see all the time men get together with women because "they are hot" and even invest savings and time and marriage into them. It's like they don't examine character at all and then wonder why everything didn't work out. It amazes me how many men appear to be blinded by curves. Yes attraction is important but finding the 10 that'll pit the knife in your back doesn't seem that advantageous compared to the 7 or 8 that you will sexually bond to anyways and will truly have your back. Men are blinded by looks as women are to personality. The big difference is the amount of sympathy women tend to garner for their poor choices relative to men and the oft displayed 'victim' mentality that often runs hand in hand with that. Conversely, the man is often seen as one heck of a doofushead for not seeing the obvious. .
dreamingoftigers Posted August 22, 2011 Posted August 22, 2011 I'll give you points for that. Can I still call you a doofushead?
A O Posted August 22, 2011 Posted August 22, 2011 ^ ^ ^ Sure, the next time I do/say something stupid - doofushead will do or any other idiotic term that suits the occasion. .
Woggle Posted August 22, 2011 Posted August 22, 2011 NO ONE is saying that it is one sided. You originally said that the man and women haters are at equal number here and that is very false. The gender haters are equal. The only difference is the man are more blatant. A misogynist is usually not afraid to tell you he hates women but misandry is a very subtle thing. There are women who swear they don't hate men but if you dig deeper you can see they at least don't like us very much.
dreamingoftigers Posted August 22, 2011 Posted August 22, 2011 That's because you stink. Um, no, all you guys are great
AlexDP Posted August 22, 2011 Posted August 22, 2011 I see all the time men get together with women because "they are hot" and even invest savings and time and marriage into them. It's like they don't examine character at all and then wonder why everything didn't work out. It amazes me how many men appear to be blinded by curves. Yes attraction is important but finding the 10 that'll pit the knife in your back doesn't seem that advantageous compared to the 7 or 8 that you will sexually bond to anyways and will truly have your back. I agree. It may sound harsh, but I tend to not even go for 10's anymore. I am sure that in the looks department I am about an 8 or a 9 myself, because of working out as well. Have I gotten a 9 (no such thing as a 10) before? Yes. Was it fun? No. It's virtually impossible for a woman to be a 9 lookswise and to mentally healthy. Hell, sometimes I wonder if you could blame her. No, I'd take a 7 who is a genuinely loving and fun person to be with over a cold hearted, spoilt 9 any day of the week. The 7's probably better in bed anyway.
rafallus Posted August 22, 2011 Posted August 22, 2011 How do you evaluate, what number other person is anyway?
dreamingoftigers Posted August 22, 2011 Posted August 22, 2011 My husband says fat girls give it better in bed. LOL I hope that wasn't 't his attempt at romancing me.
thatone Posted August 22, 2011 Posted August 22, 2011 The biggest problem is that men aren't made aware of, anywhere near to the same degree that women are, that there are actually bad people of the opposite sex out there. And what compounds this even more is that women have a bigger issue about being painted in a negative light than men do. because even those mens' mothers will give them a speech straight from oprah about how they should "yes dear" every suggestion a woman makes and the women they meet can do no wrong. only when those men grow up and realize that even their mother was full of sh*t do they figure it out. because such a mentality is specific to women, that's what woggle is saying.
xxoo Posted August 22, 2011 Posted August 22, 2011 The biggest problem is that men aren't made aware of, anywhere near to the same degree that women are, that there are actually bad people of the opposite sex out there. And what compounds this even more is that women have a bigger issue about being painted in a negative light than men do. In other words, some men can be bad - we "all" get this. But newsflash, so can some women too, but few are made aware of this and that's often to the detriment of many men unfortunately.. That's something I never considered! "Sugar and spice and everything nice," right? Women have been socialized to screen for users and losers. Men, otoh, may be blindsided the first time they are used by a woman. He may even recieve quite a blow to the ego, considering this isn't the way it is "supposed" to be for guys. Thanks for that insight. It'll be useful as a parent!
dreamingoftigers Posted August 22, 2011 Posted August 22, 2011 That is pretty significant and then popular media etc. makes out Like having a hot girlfriend is just about the only way to have fun besides blowing things up. That would explain a lot of disillusionement.
tigressA Posted August 22, 2011 Posted August 22, 2011 The biggest problem is that men aren't made aware of, anywhere near to the same degree that women are, that there are actually bad people of the opposite sex out there. And what compounds this even more is that women have a bigger issue about being painted in a negative light than men do. In other words, some men can be bad - we "all" get this. But newsflash, so can some women too, but few are made aware of this and that's often to the detriment of many men unfortunately. This is really quite brilliant.
xxoo Posted August 22, 2011 Posted August 22, 2011 because even those mens' mothers will give them a speech straight from oprah about how they should "yes dear" every suggestion a woman makes and the women they meet can do no wrong. only when those men grow up and realize that even their mother was full of sh*t do they figure it out. because such a mentality is specific to women, that's what woggle is saying. I didn't read this before I posted. Interesting that you blame the mothers, while I read the same quote and thought "This is such great insight that could help my boy!" For the record, in my experience, fathers and society impart a lot of the "must put girls on a pedestal" mentality. The mothers I know are pretty protective of their boys--overprotective, the men around us would say.
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