CatNtheHat Posted August 21, 2011 Posted August 21, 2011 I have read several posts that tell a woman poster that she should be the one to apologize, or back off or etc...even if its the guys fault. Are men always right? This site seems to cater to this mentality.
Author CatNtheHat Posted August 21, 2011 Author Posted August 21, 2011 You should read more posts. I have read plenty of posts. Just read one where there is a cultural difference with the couple and people are saying "Well thats his culture, deal with it" The woman has a culture to. Why do women have to cater to the men. What about compromising? Maybe that is a foreign concept here.
Mutant Debutante Posted August 21, 2011 Posted August 21, 2011 Women do get a lot of **** on this board and there's a lot of angry misogynists here, but if you're talking about the culture thread I think you're talking about, honestly, that woman IS being a little ridiculous. Weird example to illustrate your point, IMO.
Woggle Posted August 21, 2011 Posted August 21, 2011 I have read plenty of posts. Just read one where there is a cultural difference with the couple and people are saying "Well thats his culture, deal with it" The woman has a culture to. Why do women have to cater to the men. What about compromising? Maybe that is a foreign concept here. He is not the one on here asking for advice plus with Indians their cultural beliefs are deeply ingrained and very unlikely to change. I would perfectly understand it if she didn't want to be with him but the chances of things changing are very unlikely.
linwood Posted August 21, 2011 Posted August 21, 2011 I have read plenty of posts. Just read one where there is a cultural difference with the couple and people are saying "Well thats his culture, deal with it" The woman has a culture to. Why do women have to cater to the men. What about compromising? Maybe that is a foreign concept here. Their are a lot of bitter men here. It seems they deal with their romantic troubles a bit more harshly than women do. The thread you refer to with the cultural problems. I agree entirely she`s being controlled and told her as much. I too find it hard to believe few if any other posters on that thread disagreed with her man as he`s way out of line as far as I`m concerned. Stay here long enough and you`ll find the gender bias most prevalent is a 1950's male superiority complex.
Woggle Posted August 21, 2011 Posted August 21, 2011 It seems that any time a man speaks honestly about what we go through in the relationship world instead of telling women what they want to hear we are called a misogynist. There are just as man man haters on this forum but nobody seems to notice.
Author CatNtheHat Posted August 21, 2011 Author Posted August 21, 2011 Women do get a lot of **** on this board and there's a lot of angry misogynists here, but if you're talking about the culture thread I think you're talking about, honestly, that woman IS being a little ridiculous. Weird example to illustrate your point, IMO. This one hits home for me since I'm also in a relationship with a man with a different culture.
Author CatNtheHat Posted August 21, 2011 Author Posted August 21, 2011 Women have needs too. It just seems on this site, people want women to back down from their needs to suit the man. Even if the man is in the wrong. This isn't 1955.
Fondue Posted August 21, 2011 Posted August 21, 2011 Women have needs too. It just seems on this site, people want women to back down from their needs to suit the man. Even if the man is in the wrong. This isn't 1955. I'm sorry to be so blunt here, but who made you the authority on what's right and wrong. Unfortunately people see things differently. What is wrong to you, maybe right to me-- and that works in reverse. I see just as many women here bashing men for being "useless, clueless, mean, accusing men of using women, not knowing what they want, sex sex sex, etc." Seeing the genders get into fights here is mostly why I lurk the boards, hahhahah.
Author CatNtheHat Posted August 21, 2011 Author Posted August 21, 2011 I'm sorry to be so blunt here, but who made you the authority on what's right and wrong. Unfortunately people see things differently. What is wrong to you, maybe right to me-- and that works in reverse. I see just as many women here bashing men for being "useless, clueless, mean, accusing men of using women, not knowing what they want, sex sex sex, etc." Seeing the genders get into fights here is mostly why I lurk the boards, hahhahah. I think healthy relationships require compromise and taking responsibility for your actions-words. Men and women are equal. Both partners needs should be met.
Art_Critic Posted August 21, 2011 Posted August 21, 2011 Stay here long enough and you`ll find the gender bias most prevalent is a 1950's male superiority complex. .. except most of the 50's bias comes from posters born between 80's and the 90's
Nexus One Posted August 21, 2011 Posted August 21, 2011 For what it's worth I sympathize with a lot of women on this forum. Most women just want carefree happiness, love and someone that sticks around. Many guys want the same. Once you realize the other gender is pretty much looking for the same thing on this spherical rock that is floating through endless dark space, then things fall into perspective.
linwood Posted August 21, 2011 Posted August 21, 2011 .. except most of the 50's bias comes from posters born between 80's and the 90's I know, that`s why it shocks me every time I run into it here. I truly don`t understand it.
John Michael Kane Posted August 21, 2011 Posted August 21, 2011 It seems that any time a man speaks honestly about what we go through in the relationship world instead of telling women what they want to hear we are called a misogynist. There are just as man man haters on this forum but nobody seems to notice. Exactly. If a man doesn't put up with a woman's crap oh he's a "bitter man.":laugh: So played out.
utterer of lies Posted August 21, 2011 Posted August 21, 2011 I have read several posts that tell a woman poster that she should be the one to apologize, or back off or etc...even if its the guys fault. Are men always right? This site seems to cater to this mentality. Women get a lot of crap on this site. Men get a lot of crap on this site. That you only see one says more about you than about the site.
LoveandSuch Posted August 21, 2011 Posted August 21, 2011 I think the site is great. How else will you get a large response of OPINIONS. I like honesty. All opinions can be merited and help in weighing the obstacles and truths of your question in mind. Debate helps in surprising ways, as well.
phineas Posted August 21, 2011 Posted August 21, 2011 .. except most of the 50's bias comes from posters born between 80's and the 90's That is funny. I notice a lot of early 20's girls in real life that "expect" men to foot the bill while also expecting equality in the work place. They want their cake & eat it too. I wonder if it has anything to do with a lot of these girls growing up in a divorced household living with mom while dad is forced by law to foot the bill. Or it's the darn disney.
LoveandSuch Posted August 21, 2011 Posted August 21, 2011 Women do catch hell on this site at times for being honest and not just riding the wave to popularity. If you mention you enjoy money, you are automatically judged as some dirty, nasty, money grubbing, golddigging whore...lol. But opinions have helped me, okay, I have to pinch myself to see if I am awake or alive in saying this, that maybe, yes, I could pitch in some money during the courting phase in the relationship, see how it goes.
phineas Posted August 21, 2011 Posted August 21, 2011 Women do catch hell on this site at times for being honest and not just riding the wave to popularity. If you mention you enjoy money, you are automatically judged as some dirty, nasty, money grubbing, golddigging whore...lol. But opinions have helped me, okay, I have to pinch myself to see if I am awake or alive in saying this, that maybe, yes, I could pitch in some money during the courting phase in the relationship, see how it goes. Well, the economy sucks. Period. There is going to be a lot of spinsters in this world if their holding out for a guy with deep pockets. More power to them if they find one.
robdrm32 Posted August 21, 2011 Posted August 21, 2011 Because most men on this board are bitter. I used to be a very bitter man but i've begun to let go of it. But at the height I was VERY bitter and alot of posters here remind me of myself. Same goes for some of the women. People don't come to relationship boards like this when they are in a healthy emotional state. I'd be willing to bet most people found it during/after a difficult time in their lives. This environment is for bitter, insecure people man or woman. Men tend to be more aggressive in nature so it comes out a bit more i suspect.
Sanman Posted August 21, 2011 Posted August 21, 2011 Everybody gets flack here. We are all a bit imperfect and can get nailed for those imperfections, especially if they are hypocritical. The thread about culture was not biased against women. It was geared to help the OP. Blaming her bf or his culture/family really does not solve the problem at all. They did not come looking for advice and don't care what LS has to say. In the end, any person's only choices in a relationship are compromise or leave. They suggested she compromise.
linwood Posted August 21, 2011 Posted August 21, 2011 Everybody gets flack here. We are all a bit imperfect and can get nailed for those imperfections, especially if they are hypocritical. The thread about culture was not biased against women. It was geared to help the OP. Blaming her bf or his culture/family really does not solve the problem at all. They did not come looking for advice and don't care what LS has to say. In the end, any person's only choices in a relationship are compromise or leave. They suggested she compromise. Yes but none suggested HE compromise even though according to the culture he and she live in a compromise on his part would be much more in tune with their surroundings. Yet they suggested she change her cultural norms, the norms relevant within the society the couple chooses to live in in deference to his cultural norms which are only relevant to a nation thousands of miles away. Hence the bias toward the male.
Woggle Posted August 21, 2011 Posted August 21, 2011 Yes but none suggested HE compromise even though according to the culture he and she live in a compromise on his part would be much more in tune with their surroundings. Yet they suggested she change her cultural norms, the norms relevant within the society the couple chooses to live in in deference to his cultural norms which are only relevant to a nation thousands of miles away. Hence the bias toward the male. It has more to do with understanding his culture rather than the gender bias. His culture is much more rigid and liberal than hers. Like I said I don't blame her for not wanting to bend to it but she will not change it.
Sanman Posted August 22, 2011 Posted August 22, 2011 Yes but none suggested HE compromise even though according to the culture he and she live in a compromise on his part would be much more in tune with their surroundings. Yet they suggested she change her cultural norms, the norms relevant within the society the couple chooses to live in in deference to his cultural norms which are only relevant to a nation thousands of miles away. Hence the bias toward the male. That is because HE is not asking the question. Saying that he needs to compromise is silly. She cannot make him compromise. She can only compromise herself or give him an ultimatum that he compromise or she will leave. This is seeing gender bias where there is none. Besides, it was not about him compromising, it was about his family not understanding. The guy can't do anything if his family is conservative.
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