Unrequitedlove Posted August 21, 2011 Posted August 21, 2011 Greetings! I'm new to this, and since no one in my life has been able to shed some light, I thought I'd give this a try. My ex-boyfriend and I were together for a little over a year. Everything seemed almost perfect. We barely argued, we shared the same interests, and I fell hard for him. Before I came along, he was a cheater, a liar, and could never fully commit. He's stated throughout our relationship that I'm different, and that I've changed him for the best, and how thankful he is to have me. I couldn't have been more happy. We supported each other through everything. We spent lots of time together. Everything started changing around our first anniversary. He was becoming distant. He had a new job which made him extremely busy. He didn't take initiative to see me, or do things with me anymore. We hadn't had any sort of intimacy issues, though. He's expressed his concern with his future, and where he's going, and that he's unhappy and doesn't know why. I thought he could be depressed and told him that there's help for that and I'd be there for him every step of the way. He then started saying he might be confused. He didnt know what love is. He broke up with me before our anniversary, and immediately regretted it and we got back together the next day. It seemed to have gotten worse because we barely saw each other and when we did, we didn't do much but have sex and sleep. Two weeks ago, we had an argument and he told me he wanted to be left alone. I listened, and didn't text him or call him for three days until he texted me to schedule a time to talk about the relationship. I replied, and went over to his house where he said that he needed time to figure out himself. He's said he doesn't know how I could claim to love him if he doesnt know himself, and that he needed a break. I asked him if he wanted to still be together and I'd have limited contact, or just break up and move on. He seemed to not be sure, but ultimately chose breaking up for good. He said he doesn't know how long it'll take, and he understands that this would risk either of us finding someone else, but it needs to be done, and that he's not leaving me for anyone else. He then said, "if it's meant to be, it'll work itself out." We hadn't spoken in a week. I've been an emotional wreck. I don't know why I feel so confused. I deleted him from Facebook, but I regret it. I handled the breakup by agreeing to it, and not crying. I hugged him and said goodbye. I just want him back. Is this really the end? I don't want to not have contact with him, although I insisted on it. Where do I go from here?
Nohbody Posted August 21, 2011 Posted August 21, 2011 I think you should maintain no contact. Focus on yourself, and try your best to get over pain this has caused you. When that's over, you can figure out what to do next. It sounds like he has issues he needs to resolve, and if you are in his life you are only going to get hurt. I hate to sound trite, but this may be for the best - right now anyway.
Author Unrequitedlove Posted August 21, 2011 Author Posted August 21, 2011 I think you should maintain no contact. Focus on yourself, and try your best to get over pain this has caused you. When that's over, you can figure out what to do next. It sounds like he has issues he needs to resolve, and if you are in his life you are only going to get hurt. I hate to sound trite, but this may be for the best - right now anyway. You're right. He does have personal issues, and it kills me that he left me, the one person be trusted enough to speak about them. I know that I shouldn't, but I can't help but wonder if he is doing okay.
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