BrettLost Posted August 21, 2011 Posted August 21, 2011 I cant keep this up. I understand the NC/LC concept, and have been effectively applying it best i can. It does produce results of her missing whats goin on in your life and initiates contact from her, positive contact. This is good. What is not good however, like just now, is by ignoring her life all week and gaining a positive outlook on my own individual existance.... come every time to return my children to her, her OM is there. I read a post about the navy seal steven segal method and tried to apply it just now. It was'nt enough. Having not heard a peep from her and becoming positive all week, 1 maybe 2 mins in her company with OM while around my kids broke me down to nuthin real quick. I kept my composure, kept my sunnies on, said a quick hello to him, she couldnt even look at me, she said thanks but. Gave my kids their last hugs n out i went. The second i was back in my car i was a mess..... NOW- im thinking that because each time i see them as a "family:sick:" its cutting me cos of the NC. If i actively try to be around and involved with them, will it become commonplace, familiar and regular enough for it to be not so devastating everytime? Or would she just chalk it up as another win? Everone's friends...FU(K OFF!! Im so fu(kin over this rollercoaster bull$hit. I felt like i could have actually slayed them both just to rid myself of their existance in my life. A good hour on the drumkit is needed to vent it all, til next week. Somebody tell me that NC really is the way through this......
Craig2425 Posted August 21, 2011 Posted August 21, 2011 I'm not really in a good place myself and I struggle with nc but I'm sure it gets easier and it's the best thing. You said that all week long you were doing pretty well and it was only when you saw them both. After you see that a few times maybe it will get easier. I mean what's the difference between seeing them all the time to make it easier or see them once in awhile? It might take a week or two longer? But at least durning the week you feel good and not have to see them or talk to them durning the week too. Like I said I'm not in a good place so I could be wrong. Wait for some other thoughts. Good luck man! This **** sucks.
Author BrettLost Posted August 21, 2011 Author Posted August 21, 2011 Thanks Craig, I just got off drumkit so im cookin with $hit. Indeed this place is a godsend for those of us unfortunate enough to be going through hell emotionally. I have been good, great even, but envisioning (even a word?) them together in my old family and seeing it for real in your face are worlds apart. As I was there I could'nt help but wonder, what kind of ********* fu(ks a chick with kids and rolls right in as if he was what the family has been missing!! I was boiling man! I can't take it. I had thoughts of just losin it with a kitchen knife..... she could'nt even look at me. I felt sick and disgusted at what i had worked for and invested into her, only for her to now share it happily with some other (unt she barely knows. As a respectable man, i dont think i could do it. Be a part of a family i had no input in building. 8 fu(kin years of history that he has fu(k all to do with, yet slips right in as if it were home. FU(K I HATE THIS ****!!! FU(K!!! Deep breaths........ fu(k em. Well, that was a vent-and-a-half. Sorry people.
jaymz Posted August 21, 2011 Posted August 21, 2011 I know how you feel brett, 15 years and 3 wonderful kids. I hate going to their new house and picking up/dropping off the kids. She is always causing a drama, scumbag hides behind the door and confers with her and then when i leave he pops out all smiles and waves and cuddles the stbxw in front of me. I smile and wave back with the kids but it kills me every time. scumbag has 3 kids of his own. i don't understand how he can drop his own family and take over another. i guess when his wife finds someone else, he will go through the same things... For me, i plan to stay well clear of married women. There is no way i am going to do the same thing to another family.
tojaz Posted August 21, 2011 Posted August 21, 2011 Brett, its never going to seem right in your eyes, either in your head or in person. Its not right and no amount of exposure is ever going to change that. Nor should you want it to. You have a right to be angry! Heck over 2 years later I still have days I go to the range and plug as many 30 caliber holes into a paper OM as I can! Your driving yourself nuts because you are trying to play it off. You don't need to greet him, say hello, wave, your allowing him to continue to draw breathe, thats plenty! Next time you have to be in the situation, just do what your there to do, focus on the kids. The dudes a lamp, not even worthy of a look. See if that helps. TOJAZ
Author BrettLost Posted August 22, 2011 Author Posted August 22, 2011 Tojaz, Thanks mate. Guns are a little harder to come by in Aus, but if i had one chances are id be in jail. I am pissed still, VERY pissed, but around my children i feel i have to act polite n *****, accept it for what it is. A part of me wants to reveal the truth of the matter to my kids but theyre too young to 'get it'. Since i really hit my low, went to a psych and he suggested a journal. So on days i was imploding with emotion, id write my thoughts when i got home. Ive been keeping up with it, just not as frequent as earlier stages. The plan however is to keep this folder until my daughters are old enough to understand it all. Then they will see/read what their mother put me through.
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