luvsickpuppy Posted August 21, 2011 Posted August 21, 2011 My significant other and I, have trust issues.. to say the least. One day after a fight, he de-friend me and put his profiles on private. We've made yp since then but he hasnt changed this. He said, its because he's tired of me questioning, who's this, Kinda stuff. Well, while we were fighting once I caught him on a date, I never told him I discivered this, but he's liedwhen I've asked during our no contact times have you taken someone else out. We've had a rough history, and I wanna be with him, but only if hes willing to put himself on the line too. So I'm on high alert, and wonder so much, but keep quiet, because I don't want to create a problem if there really isn't one. So, my curious and scared self made a new facebook. Used a normal looking model I found online added a bunch of people including one of his profiles, yea he has two. I didn't see much that I could 'twist' as he would say, but this is his secondary one, the one I'm worried about I didn't try to add him, because I'm scared. I want to find out he's been telling me the truth, to find out I can trust him with my heart again. But I wonder, am I going about it wrong? I want to build trust with him, work together to get to a health relationship. He thinks love should be enough to carry us there. I spoke to a pasture about that, and he said its because he grew up in a unhealthy environment, and has never been shown how hard you have to work in a relationship.. I guess like believing its the stuff of magic. This scares me as well. I'm afraid, if I bring up my insecurities too much he will think I'm just constantly unhappy with him, or if its too hard its not worth doing..
wilsonx Posted August 21, 2011 Posted August 21, 2011 I read your first post here to get an idea of what was going on and I hate to say it, but if you have to walk on eggshells to make the relationship work, its over. Its not only over, its extremely toxic. I am lost in the cheating rollercoaster that you described with each other. Both of you have trust issues with each other and i am going to be point blank. YOU CAN NOT MAKE ANY RELATIONSHIP WORK WITHOUT TRUST, FRIENDSHIPS, BUSINESS RELATIONSHIPS AND INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS. Its honestly time to put this relationship to its resting place. You probably need to get some sort of counseling for yourself too to help you let go of your current boyfriend and your ex. I am going to tell you a little secret. If you think he's not telling you the truth about something, you're probably right, even in this relationship. 2 facebook profiles and he only adds you to one? Common! You have to let go. People that do not love themselves first and foremost, can't truly love someone else. They become dependent on them like you are right now. I do not think you actually love him, I think you need him.
Author luvsickpuppy Posted August 21, 2011 Author Posted August 21, 2011 Thank you for your reply, but shortly after making this post I decided I need to talk to him about how I feel regardless of what happens, his reaction will only give me more answers. So we had dinner and I started it up slowly and calm, we talked, and he said he's been feeling the same way. He's afraid to let me in because if our past issues but is torn because of how be feels about me. We agreed we have communication problems, and need to work together to build it back up. That simultaneously will build our trust. I can see, why you say my relationship is doomed, because for months I've been dwelling on that thought. But after tonight, finding out I can bring my concerns to him, that we can talk, even relate on them. Has me feeling I have been making myself see things because of my fears, but maybe, just maybe we can beat the odds. I'm feeling much more positive about us.
Recommended Posts