LoveandSuch Posted August 21, 2011 Posted August 21, 2011 I am taking the advice I have received from posters to widen my horizons, let my gaurd down some. I will, but only upon the fact that there will rules placed that will not be waivered from in the slightest. I may, cough, I think my chest is hurting for saying this, do the online crap. But, with no picture, do not want anyone to just date me because they think I am hot. It is going to have to be deeper than that. I am not looking for anything serious, but I require someone who can carry a decent conversation, and is educated. Rules: 1) First fight=last fight 2) In with the new, out with the old, meaning, no old left overs. 3) First wierd, odd, red flag=zilch, done, goodbye 4) Pushy=done 5) Any innuendo which hints at rudeness=goodbye 6) Lack of character=good bye 7) One slight hint they are a PUA loser=pretzel twist their mind straight though their arse. 8) Unable to amuse me=goodbye
MrNate Posted August 21, 2011 Posted August 21, 2011 I am taking the advice I have received from posters to widen my horizons, let my gaurd down some. I will, but only upon the fact that there will rules placed that will not be waivered from in the slightest. I may, cough, I think my chest is hurting for saying this, do the online crap. But, with no picture, do not want anyone to just date me because they think I am hot. It is going to have to be deeper than that. I am not looking for anything serious, but I require someone who can carry a decent conversation, and is educated. Rules: 1) First fight=last fight 2) In with the new, out with the old, meaning, no old left overs. 3) First wierd, odd, red flag=zilch, done, goodbye 4) Pushy=done 5) Any innuendo which hints at rudeness=goodbye 6) Lack of character=good bye 7) One slight hint they are a PUA loser=pretzel twist their mind straight though their arse. 8) Unable to amuse me=goodbye 9) Post a picture on your profile.
strawberryshortstack Posted August 21, 2011 Posted August 21, 2011 so...you're basically looking to date a goldfish?
Cracker Jack Posted August 21, 2011 Posted August 21, 2011 So, if you decide to do the online thing, are you going to message men based on how their profile's structured? Or will their pictures be important when it comes to showing your interest?
Author LoveandSuch Posted August 21, 2011 Author Posted August 21, 2011 so...you're basically looking to date a goldfish? Ha ha ha! I like you. Yes! That is most likely going to be my option, as the pool dwindles because of my enforced list.
Author LoveandSuch Posted August 21, 2011 Author Posted August 21, 2011 So, if you decide to do the online thing, are you going to message men based on how their profile's structured? Or will their pictures be important when it comes to showing your interest? Hmmmm.... good question! This is getting complicated it seems.
Jynxx Posted August 21, 2011 Posted August 21, 2011 OK, so you want a more or less flawless person. Now start giving the reasons someone like that would like to be with you over anyone else.
Author LoveandSuch Posted August 21, 2011 Author Posted August 21, 2011 OK, so you want a more or less flawless person. Now start giving the reasons someone like that would like to be with you over anyone else. That's for them to decide! I cannot make that judgement for them.
AmEricanWomann Posted August 21, 2011 Posted August 21, 2011 Men are visual creatures. I think you want them to be something they are not. A man HAS to be physically attracted to a woman to be interested in her. You put yourself at a distinct disadvantage by not posting a pic. The guy wont even know for sure what gender you are. You think by not posting a photo, you're going to get the most decent, thoughtful guys, the ones who are beyond physical appearance, but it doesn't work like that. Even the greatest guy in the world wants someone he's attracted to. Without a pic, the only ones who will write to you are the most desperate ones, the one's who have been rejected so much and are so socially awkward, they will take any woman. The ones who figure, "well if she didn't post a pic, she must look pretty bad...maybe I have a shot"
utterer of lies Posted August 21, 2011 Posted August 21, 2011 1)First fight=last fight So you are completely unable to handle a conflict? 2) In with the new, out with the old, meaning, no old left overs. You only date people with no dating experience? 3) First wierd, odd, red flag=zilch, done, goodbye Bland and unremarkable is the new cool? Good luck.
Author LoveandSuch Posted August 21, 2011 Author Posted August 21, 2011 You seem like a delight. Ha Ha! Thanx:D:D:D
Author LoveandSuch Posted August 21, 2011 Author Posted August 21, 2011 Men are visual creatures. I think you want them to be something they are not. A man HAS to be physically attracted to a woman to be interested in her. You put yourself at a distinct disadvantage by not posting a pic. The guy wont even know for sure what gender you are. You think by not posting a photo, you're going to get the most decent, thoughtful guys, the ones who are beyond physical appearance, but it doesn't work like that. Even the greatest guy in the world wants someone he's attracted to. Without a pic, the only ones who will write to you are the most desperate ones, the one's who have been rejected so much and are so socially awkward, they will take any woman. The ones who figure, "well if she didn't post a pic, she must look pretty bad...maybe I have a shot" I will not place a pic on one of those sites. I would not be taking it seriously if I did put a profile up. Would describe myself and the possibility of exchanging pics if they matched my criteria. A little mystery. But it is not a desperate search or attempt for a relationship, just will be as is, and if something happened, great, if not, great. I tend to think better prospects may not post pics because of recognition, status..................and so on. I would place my bet on that.
Author LoveandSuch Posted August 21, 2011 Author Posted August 21, 2011 So you are completely unable to handle a conflict? You only date people with no dating experience? Bland and unremarkable is the new cool? What the heck are you talking about? No I do not like drama or fighting, so yes I tend to not like conflict. I will not hook up with old flames, not those with no dating exp. If bland=not disordered=okay with me, been there, done that, never again! Good luck. What the heck are you talking about? No I do not like drama or fighting, so yes I tend to not like conflict. I will not hook up with old flames, not those with no dating exp. If bland=not disordered=okay with me, been there, done that, never again!
Emilia Posted August 21, 2011 Posted August 21, 2011 I will not place a pic on one of those sites. I would not be taking it seriously if I did put a profile up. Would describe myself and the possibility of exchanging pics if they matched my criteria. A little mystery. But it is not a desperate search or attempt for a relationship, just will be as is, and if something happened, great, if not, great. I tend to think better prospects may not post pics because of recognition, status..................and so on. I would place my bet on that. Those that don't post pics are either time wasters, married or very unattractive. It's a turn off for most, you are being naive
Author LoveandSuch Posted August 21, 2011 Author Posted August 21, 2011 Those that don't post pics are either time wasters, married or very unattractive. It's a turn off for most, you are being naive Yeah, I would be a timewaster. The recognition factor alone is enough to not do it. So, I guess I am back to just chance and flirting. No online for me.
Professor X Posted August 21, 2011 Posted August 21, 2011 Why do you insist on jumping into a RS just yet? You're obviously not ready. Do you feel lonely and think that just being with someone you can stand will fill your needs? It's just a bandaid... I'd advice you to wait up...
ThsAmericanLife Posted August 21, 2011 Posted August 21, 2011 I will not place a pic on one of those sites. I would not be taking it seriously if I did put a profile up. Would describe myself and the possibility of exchanging pics if they matched my criteria. A little mystery. But it is not a desperate search or attempt for a relationship, just will be as is, and if something happened, great, if not, great. I tend to think better prospects may not post pics because of recognition, status..................and so on. I would place my bet on that. While I talk ALOT about how much I dislike online dating, I will say that the quality of men increased EXPONENTIALLY when I stopped posting pictures!! The trade-off is that you need to do active searching on your own. Another thing that I didn't mind at all... Being alleviated from the long list of BS emails from men writing... 'hey, you're hot' gave me plenty of time to do my own searches and focus what I wanted to focus on. There are some concerns about corresponding with anyone who doesn't have pictures because they have something to hide perhaps, but people who have pics have things to hide too. Pics/no pics from men? I haven't seen much difference in quality... especially places like OkC which really has no reason to hide their needs (ie married having affairs, bisexual, etc).
ThsAmericanLife Posted August 21, 2011 Posted August 21, 2011 Those that don't post pics are either time wasters, married or very unattractive. It's a turn off for most, you are being naive When I was online, I was NOT a time waster, NOT married... and actually am objectively more attractive than most. Routinely given 4-5 stars during brief periods of non-trashy picture posting. Posting pictures of any kind routinely attracted the WRONG kind of man. I do NOT want a man who is primarly attracted to me by looks. I want the kind of man who is looking for the hidden treasure... who can scratch beneath the surface... who can see behind the veil. I have ZERO interest in those who are gratuitously open... physically or emotionally... This is why online dating hasn't worked for me. It tends to appeal to people who like catalog shopping and feel the need to barf their whole life out on a page for the whole world to see. I don't need that kind of validation, and my career choices makes it a bad choice anyway. BUT, if I ever did go back to it... I'd still never post pics...
utterer of lies Posted August 21, 2011 Posted August 21, 2011 What the heck are you talking about? No I do not like drama or fighting, so yes I tend to not like conflict. If you quit each relationship after the first fight, you'll never have a fulfilling relationship. People are people, and if someone is important to you and you live together, conflict will happen. The important thing is how you deal with it. You seem quite inexperienced.
Author LoveandSuch Posted August 21, 2011 Author Posted August 21, 2011 When I was online, I was NOT a time waster, NOT married... and actually am objectively more attractive than most. Routinely given 4-5 stars during brief periods of non-trashy picture posting. Posting pictures of any kind routinely attracted the WRONG kind of man. I do NOT want a man who is primarly attracted to me by looks. I want the kind of man who is looking for the hidden treasure... who can scratch beneath the surface... who can see behind the veil. I have ZERO interest in those who are gratuitously open... physically or emotionally... This is why online dating hasn't worked for me. It tends to appeal to people who like catalog shopping and feel the need to barf their whole life out on a page for the whole world to see. I don't need that kind of validation, and my career choices makes it a bad choice anyway. BUT, if I ever did go back to it... I'd still never post pics... I completely agree! I do believe men who are well adjusted, smart, handsome, well educated, and again okay in the head would be very gaurded against posting their pic on one of these sites. The exposure and lack of privacy alone would be a gamble. I had a friend who was all this and posted a profile and pic, this was several years back before it's popularity exploded, and he went to work, with his profile all over, a joke from co workers.
Author LoveandSuch Posted August 21, 2011 Author Posted August 21, 2011 If you quit each relationship after the first fight, you'll never have a fulfilling relationship. People are people, and if someone is important to you and you live together, conflict will happen. The important thing is how you deal with it. You seem quite inexperienced. I have experience. Was in a terrible relationship, with alot of drama, abuse, and I want no part of that, if I see any sign of a f'up mentality, I am out of there! I do not care how successful, what a catch, and so on....out of there with a guns ablazin. I honestly get sick to my stomach thinking of conflict.
Author LoveandSuch Posted August 21, 2011 Author Posted August 21, 2011 Why do you insist on jumping into a RS just yet? You're obviously not ready. Do you feel lonely and think that just being with someone you can stand will fill your needs? It's just a bandaid... I'd advice you to wait up... Hi Professor...you are right, I am not in the least, at all, like to think about it though.
Casablanca Posted August 21, 2011 Posted August 21, 2011 I am taking the advice I have received from posters to widen my horizons, let my gaurd down some. I will, but only upon the fact that there will rules placed that will not be waivered from in the slightest. I may, cough, I think my chest is hurting for saying this, do the online crap. But, with no picture, do not want anyone to just date me because they think I am hot. It is going to have to be deeper than that. I am not looking for anything serious, but I require someone who can carry a decent conversation, and is educated. Rules: 1) First fight=last fight 3) First wierd, odd, red flag=zilch, done, goodbye 5) Any innuendo which hints at rudeness=goodbye You won't make it long with some of those rules and the no pictures online, gonna be really hard...would you contact a guy on there who didnt have a picture? It is better to have to sift through a ton of crappy emails saying "you're hot" to find the good ones than to get none to little at all
Author LoveandSuch Posted August 21, 2011 Author Posted August 21, 2011 You won't make it long with some of those rules and the no pictures online, gonna be really hard...would you contact a guy on there who didnt have a picture? It is better to have to sift through a ton of crappy emails saying "you're hot" to find the good ones than to get none to little at all I am too reserved right now for that, this point in my life. I am not perfect and I do not expect them to be perfect, but it will be damn right for me when I do take a step in the water. Privacy is the key issue for me and the online mess may not be for me.
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