Bubby Posted August 21, 2011 Posted August 21, 2011 I've been going along so well and now suddenly I want to hear my husband's voice. He is out at present with his NW. I seem to go along ok and then it hits me that he is not home, that he is out with her and will not come into the house with his warm and loving smile on his face when he sees me. I even have tried to call him to hear his voice. I have tried to have any excuse but he won't answer the phone. And then it hits me fresh and feels like the first time my heart is ripped open fresh. Then it hits that there is going to come a time when he won't want to be around me ever again. This is worse than when someone dies. At least I know where they are and the pain makes sense because of what has happened. But this is worse because he is alive and he has turned into someone I don't know. How do I live through this ? Please can someone tell me how I live through this ? I so desparately want his cuddles and to feel his breath on my back as he lays behind me. But those days are gone and I honestly don't know how to live through my pain and my tears.
Nohbody Posted August 21, 2011 Posted August 21, 2011 We can empathize with you. As hard as it is, you have to begin to will yourself to not think about him or what he's doing. This is incredibly difficult, and probably more so for you. For days and days it will seem like the pain will never go away, you can't get him out of your mind... but in time you will. You have to WANT to. Your emotions will go crazy, you'll feel EVERYTHING and it will be magnified, and it will hurt. The old advice comes up again and again, but it is good advice. Get out even though you don't want to. Think about something else. Find a hobby. Reconnect with old friends. Do something you've always wanted to do, go someplace you've always wanted to go. I know this seems like it's the end of everything... but it isn't. Life has changed, and things will never be the same. If you can begin to accept this, then you can begin to move forward. And please post here as much as you need to, and know that we are all here to listen to anything you need to say.
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