forthestars Posted August 20, 2011 Posted August 20, 2011 Hi, so I was in a relationship for 3 years with this amazing girl. One night I got drunk and held hands with another girl. This girl was my friend and it went too far. We kept talking afterwards but just as friends. My ex found out about it a month after it happened, but forgave me after a week. I never really learned my lesson. Then into the summer, I texted the other girl just as friends even though I thought I had some feelings for her. My ex found out about that, and that I liked the other girl and then broke up with me, this time she says its for good. Basically I cheated by holding the other girl's hand. And I emotionally cheated again by talking to her constantly, even if it was just as friends. I know I did her wrong and it would never happen again. We were a really good couple, making time for each other, not having any negative affect on school or work when we were together in fact we did better in school. She was my best friend that I ever had, and I pursued a different less significant friendship. She acknowledges this and she says she still wants to be friends but she says she doesn't think she can ever let me in that close anymore. She agrees that we can talk every once in a while so we can have a friendship, but I don't know what to think of that right now. I still want to eventually be with her, and I know it would take so much time and effort on my end to do it, but I'm willing to wait and put forth that effort. She told me in a year she would go on a date with me if I still feel the same way about her, but she is confident that my feelings are going to change. And she told me that she really, really doesn't see her forgiving me. I know she loves me and I know took that for granted and broke her trust, but is there any chance? I'm not only sorry I got caught, I really messed up something that would have lasted, no doubt. Advice and opinions is greatly appreciated.
WindWhisperer Posted August 21, 2011 Posted August 21, 2011 tell her you are sorry... And are willing to make it up to her until the end of time and that you love her with every ounce of your being. But you respect her feelings and will let her be. NC here will probably be best for both of you. Let her have sometime to really reflect. She might come back She might not. But NC will also be good for you too.
Author forthestars Posted August 21, 2011 Author Posted August 21, 2011 Thanks I will do that, but I don't think she fully trusts my word right now, since she had to find out about what I did by herself. My plan right now is to have one last talk about how I feel with her. She said she wants to remain friends. I think I'm ready to just treat her as a friend as long as I don't really hear too much about her personal life. The longest I've gone NC so far has been two weeks, but there hasn't really been full closure on the whole thing. So we agreed we are going to meet up soon for closure. But she still wants to be friends, and I told her I would be able to do that and leave my feelings out of the friendship. She never ruled out the future but she also said she doesn't see herself trusting me again, or letting me in that close again. I don't really believe in letting go of the one you love, I've always thought chasing after would be a greater way to show love. It's hard to think of ways to handle this.
Dblock10 Posted August 21, 2011 Posted August 21, 2011 actions speak louder than words. think about that for a second.. anyway. hang out with her. prove to her you are who you say you are. dont get all soppy and acting like a lap dog. hope it works out. im sure it will. circumstances are in your favour
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