bigdgsr Posted August 20, 2011 Posted August 20, 2011 Our relationship was about 11 months long. Been broken up for about 1 month now. It wasn't a nasty break up and there were no arguments. She was screaming for space and I kept pushing. We discussed how to fix some issues but never acted on them. We had issues with spending time together and for 2 months we hardly had any alone time. It definitely distanced us. We stayed in little contact here and there for the past month. Last week she asked to do something this past week, so I agreed. We went out on Thursday night. We went to a nice dinner, then went to get some drinks, and ended up at her house for the night having some drinks and listening to music just like we used to do. We were up until 2:30AM. Nothing intimate happened, we were just hanging out and having a good time. It wasn't awkward and we had a great night. Something that we hadn't done in almost 3 months. We both feel asleep on the couch. I woke up and had to go to work. Yesterday she sent me texts asking what time I left, etc.. We chit chatted back and forth pretty much all day long. Talked about future dates and such. I guess my question is, where do I go from here? I know I still have feelings for her, and I know she does for me. I think I am just going to keep at this pace and see where it takes us.
smudge21 Posted August 20, 2011 Posted August 20, 2011 Simple, talk to her. It's clear there's a lot still between you so just ask her the questions you want to ask us. I wish you luck - it is nice when you hear occasionally about a clean break up and a chance for everything to work out. Talk and be honest with each other.
Author bigdgsr Posted August 21, 2011 Author Posted August 21, 2011 That's what I plan on doing. I know its a path that is going to take some time to get figured out and I am definitely not going to rush anything. I think I am gonna have to be the leader. I was the leader when we first started hanging out. Before we broke up, we had the same conversation 3 times. We would think of resolutions but too much got in the way. We were both really frustrated at that point. That is pretty much what led to the break up. The time apart has been good for both of us. I definitely still have feelings for her, I'm just not exactly sure where she stands. I don't want to have any relationship talks just yet. I think we need to build the friendship bond back now, and get back to enjoying each other's company.
smudge21 Posted August 21, 2011 Posted August 21, 2011 You have to think about what you may do should she say she doesn't want to be serious again, just friends. I bet you say okay at the time, and that's fine, but later you'll have to think about it. Being friends with an ex can be the most painful thing ever after a break up. You've always got to remember that by agreeing to be friends you are saying it's okay for her to talk to you as a friend about anything... even if that's a new boyfriend. If you can't be friends with her, then don't. Make it clear how you feel and walk away if you have to. I hope that's not the case though and I wish you luck.
Author bigdgsr Posted August 21, 2011 Author Posted August 21, 2011 I made it clear to her weeks ago about how I felt. The time away from each other definitely gave me a clearer look on the situation. When we broke up we discussed that we weren't cutting each other out and we both agreed that the door on us wasn't closed. The pressure that I was putting on her got to be too much. When we talked last week, we both agreed that the only way to keep the connection there was to keep the line of communication open and to still do stuff together. So this is where we basically are. I could tell from our date on Thursday that she definitely has feelings for me, but we aren't ready to jump right back into a relationship. I definitely agree that if she was to tell me about another guy I would be upset. I don't think that is the case here.
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