Fondue Posted August 20, 2011 Posted August 20, 2011 Not sure if this was the appropriate sub-forum to post this question, but whatever... Anyway, I have been thinking lately about something. Do we men and women have different expectations of what is acceptable and not acceptable in a relationship/quality of person when it comes to masturbation? Many women today have some sort of masturbatory aide, be it a straight up toy, or a vibrator-- sometimes even something more. But the market for male toys is very limited, as of right now, there's just a fleshlight, autoblow, and an anal stimulation device. Most (if not all) men would tell you they don't care one bit if their woman (or a prospective woman) masturbates using an "aide." Hell, they might even find it hot and use it as part of their regular sex life. In many instances, women report that their toys (vibrator in particular) are actually more "pleasing." But is it like that when the situation is reversed? My question is, do women find it acceptable and totally cool knowing that their man uses a masturbatory aide? If you found out that some guy who's courting you uses one, do you look down upon it? Is it fair to do so? Are you maybe threatened by it? Men report that devices like the Autoblow in many instances actually feel better than the real thing. Personally, I have not had experience with any male toys, but I am getting curious and considering purchasing one. So my overall question is: would typical women find that odd, or totally cool-- like many men find women who use one to be A-okay? Discuss away .
Ross MwcFan Posted August 20, 2011 Posted August 20, 2011 I get the feeling a lot of women would find it a bit creepy or loserish.
sally4sara Posted August 20, 2011 Posted August 20, 2011 It is by no mean unusual for a woman to have difficulty achieving orgasm during intercourse. And while its not impossible, not near as many men experience this issue. This is the largest contributor to why it isn't as socially accepted for guys to purchase a toy for themselves. If a guy is one of those few who has trouble achieving orgasm through intercourse then I don't see it as being any different - he has a reason to obtain some sort of masturbatory aid and hopefully he will find a partner sensitive to his needs and willing to incorporate it when he experiences difficulty finishing during intercourse. But no matter what you read about these aids; if they got a motor in them they can become not so much an aid as an obstacle with overuse or time. They can desensitize either gender to normal intercourse stimulus and no longer help because they become part of the original problem. You can easily find that what little success you use to experience in achieving release is gone without the help of the toy.
Ginger Beer Posted August 20, 2011 Posted August 20, 2011 I get the feeling a lot of women would find it a bit creepy or loserish. This. .......
Cee Posted August 20, 2011 Posted August 20, 2011 I don't see this as an issue. Whatever my boyfriend chooses to use is fine, including porn. If I can handle him looking at nude women, I can deal with a device. I would imagine a lot of women are relaxed about toys.
Cypress25 Posted August 20, 2011 Posted August 20, 2011 Guys can do whatever they want while they masturbate. I don't need to know about it either. Masturbation is private time and I wouldn't think to ask a guy how he does it. None of my business. I'm a woman and I don't use toys. Never saw the point of it, really. I find masturbating in general to be pretty boring. I don't do it often because it's not very satisfying and it makes me miss the real thing. It's like trying to satisfy a craving for chocolate cake by eating carrot sticks.
sm1tten Posted August 20, 2011 Posted August 20, 2011 I think of masturbation as something that is generally private and I don't really need to know what tool or tricks you are up to - unless you want to bring them into the bedroom. I would only feel threatened if my partner preferred their toys to me.
delilah123 Posted August 20, 2011 Posted August 20, 2011 seems loserish to me. no need to flame me or whatever about it, it's just how i feel about it. i'd think it was a little weird. i wouldn't SAY anything because i am aware it's unfair to think that.. but well can't help it, just do.
Peitho Posted August 20, 2011 Posted August 20, 2011 I would have no issues at all; I would be even open to the idea of bringing it to the bedroom. Hell, I even bought a toy for my H once… Having said that, I am hardly your typical woman.
crazylove Posted August 21, 2011 Posted August 21, 2011 I wouldn't have issues either, anything that brings good feelings has gotta be good!! lol. I use toys, and don't see why it should be any diferent for a guy, as long as the toys don't 'take over' too much haha!
motive2002 Posted August 21, 2011 Posted August 21, 2011 Whatever floats thine boat in my opinion. Far better to be with someone that can express themselves sexually, and communicate what works for them. I do agree that masturbation is private time (I mean when it's you by yourself). You don't need to go into detail about it if you don't feel like it. Sex aids are one thing. Maybe it's one of those fleshlight things or whatever. I don't really see it as a big deal. Now if it's one of those Sarah Palin blow up dolls or something, then yeah that's pretty creepy
denise_xo Posted August 21, 2011 Posted August 21, 2011 My ex had a couple of toys he used for masturbation (and sometimes with the two of us), and I had no issue with it.
FeelingSmall Posted August 21, 2011 Posted August 21, 2011 Heck, if I'm not losing out on sex because of it, I couldn't care less. I don't particularly think it's... um... Sexy, but it wouldn't bother me in the slightest. Whatever floats your boat. A-OK by me. Although I agree with Motive - No Sarah Palin dolls. thxkbai.
ChessPieceFace Posted August 22, 2011 Posted August 22, 2011 There are double standards everywhere. This is one of them. Use your toys and don't ever be honest about it, because you can't. That's life.
Disillusioned Posted August 22, 2011 Posted August 22, 2011 I can understand how a man or a woman might need a toy if they're in a setting where booty calls are impossible to get immediately and the person needs their sex fix. Settings like jury duty, where you can duck into the john at break or lunch... a trip where no one knows you... hiking out in the desert or mountain-climbing in a lot of ice and snow... stuff like that.
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