inifinity32 Posted August 20, 2011 Posted August 20, 2011 When taking a girl out for a first date - I'm always prepared to pay for it. But I'll mention that it's a nice move on the girl's part to at least motion towards the check instead of just assuming you're going to pay the bill. But that's one thing. Usually afterwards, a simple "thanks for dinner" comment or even a text later that night or the next day saying "thanks for dinner, had a good time" seems like a pretty standard, thoughtful move. Especially when the date seemingly went well and ended with prolonged kissing. So what's the deal here? Is she just not thoughtful, aloof, or just used to being treated like queen?
musemaj11 Posted August 20, 2011 Posted August 20, 2011 Maybe she just doesnt wanna pretend like other women.
Andy_K Posted August 20, 2011 Posted August 20, 2011 Dinner dates are for after you've had sex. Why would you pay for dinner for someone you don't know, who might be rude, boring, or uninterested in you? After you've had sex on the other hand, it won't look like you're trying to impress her into bed or 'buy' her attention, you'll know she's not doing it for a free meal, you know she's good company, and doesn't expect you to jump through hoops. Asking a girl to dinner on a first date is kind of like getting out a big hoop, showing her how well you can jump through it, and asking her if she's got any more hoops for you.
thatcatlady67 Posted August 20, 2011 Posted August 20, 2011 Whoever invites pays for dinner. By asking, you are telling her you are cheap. If it was me, I would pay the tip.
phineas Posted August 20, 2011 Posted August 20, 2011 Dinner dates are for after you've had sex. Why would you pay for dinner for someone you don't know, who might be rude, boring, or uninterested in you? After you've had sex on the other hand, it won't look like you're trying to impress her into bed or 'buy' her attention, you'll know she's not doing it for a free meal, you know she's good company, and doesn't expect you to jump through hoops. Asking a girl to dinner on a first date is kind of like getting out a big hoop, showing her how well you can jump through it, and asking her if she's got any more hoops for you. This is how I do it. If a chick is going to base my date-ability over whether I taker her to dinner or not & where she is not the girl for me.
Cypress25 Posted August 20, 2011 Posted August 20, 2011 Dinner dates are for after you've had sex. Some women won't have sex with a man until after they've gone on several dates. I don't know how men expect sex before dating. That's backwards. This is why I only have sex in committed relationships. It's a great way of weeding out the jerks who just want to use girls for sex. And it's not about the money. I always offer to pay half on every date. But if a guy wants to have sex with me, he'll have to get to know me first.
Author inifinity32 Posted August 20, 2011 Author Posted August 20, 2011 Thanks for the replies. No dinner until after sex? Wow, where the hell are you taking these girls? I consider myself a somewhat classy guy and have no problem paying for dinner a few times until sex occurs or a relationship develops. I'm also OK just grabbing some drinks - but personally I enjoy sitting down and having a nice meal. I mean, what the hell else do you do? Go for walks? Talk? Boring. At least if the date sucks I got a decent meal out of it (even if I'm paying for her half). This was just a case of not seeing any gratitude at all after a first date. No "thank you" in person or after text-message since. It's the first time I've seen that. EVERY date I've ever had I've received some sort of "thanks" response. What's most weird is that the date went great. Yeah, she may just be privileged or something, or just assumes it was my duty to pay for her dinner? Strange, and a huge turn off I must say.
ConfusedGuy28 Posted August 20, 2011 Posted August 20, 2011 maybe she really likes you, got caught up in the moment and she just forgot? or was going to say it, then a new topic came up? I 100% agree that not saying "thanks" is pretty rude. I think even if you're in a serious committed relationship/marriage/etc standard manners still apply.
orion1010 Posted August 20, 2011 Posted August 20, 2011 When taking a girl out for a first date - I'm always prepared to pay for it. But I'll mention that it's a nice move on the girl's part to at least motion towards the check instead of just assuming you're going to pay the bill. But that's one thing. Usually afterwards, a simple "thanks for dinner" comment or even a text later that night or the next day saying "thanks for dinner, had a good time" seems like a pretty standard, thoughtful move. Especially when the date seemingly went well and ended with prolonged kissing. So what's the deal here? Is she just not thoughtful, aloof, or just used to being treated like queen? Dating is expensive for men b/c they usually get stuck with the check. I usually always offer to at least buy a round of drinks. I always thank the date for the meal by just saying it, usually right after we eat and before we leave. Showing a little appreciation is a classy and respectful thing to do becasue your money should not be expected by her in anyway. You are paying for her to be kind and she should return the kindness with a little apprecation by saying thank you for the nice meal and good company.
Star Gazer Posted August 21, 2011 Posted August 21, 2011 Dinner dates are for after you've had sex. Why would you pay for dinner for someone you don't know, who might be rude, boring, or uninterested in you? After you've had sex on the other hand, it won't look like you're trying to impress her into bed or 'buy' her attention, you'll know she's not doing it for a free meal, you know she's good company, and doesn't expect you to jump through hoops. Asking a girl to dinner on a first date is kind of like getting out a big hoop, showing her how well you can jump through it, and asking her if she's got any more hoops for you. This is the perfect way to go about finding an easy floozy to be your "girlfriend."
confusedgirl56 Posted August 21, 2011 Posted August 21, 2011 For some of my girlfriends, even if they really like the guy, they would wait for the guy to contact them first. I understand it could be seen as rude. But if you really like her, just send her a short text. She might be waiting for you to contact her first. Some women learned from experiences that you wait for the men to contact you after the first date as a way to find out if they're really into you or not. Other great first date ideas, which don't cost a lot of money, are: (1) walk on the beach in Santa Monica, CA and other warm places. (2) museum or art galleries. (3) Play tennis or hitting golf balls in the driving range. (4) Outdoor concerts during the summer. Any activities that could be done in an hour or so is good. After those short activities, you can invite her to join you for dinner, if you really like her.
Casablanca Posted August 21, 2011 Posted August 21, 2011 Unless you're taking a girl out to some super fancy restaurant (which you shouldnt do if it is only a first or second date) dropping 40 bucks on dinner for two is not a lot and isnt really breaking the bank
fatgalslim Posted August 21, 2011 Posted August 21, 2011 be a man, call or text her first. nothing wrong with that.
Sith Apprentice Posted August 22, 2011 Posted August 22, 2011 No more dinner dates. Dinner dates are a reward for women you're already sleeping with and crazy about. After the date another guy (probably me) is getting laid for your efforts.
Andy_K Posted August 22, 2011 Posted August 22, 2011 Some women won't have sex with a man until after they've gone on several dates. I don't know how men expect sex before dating. That's backwards. You know, I don't recall ever asking any of my male friends out to dinner in order to 'get to know them'. There are about a million other ways for people to get to know each other. Maybe you go for a drink or two somewhere, maybe a shared hobby/activity like a bike ride, maybe hanging out at the park, and so on. I didn't say sex comes before dating. I said sex comes before inviting a girl out to dinner. That, to me, is something reserved for serious couples. This is the perfect way to go about finding an easy floozy to be your "girlfriend." So are you saying any girl who doesn't require money to be spent on her early on in the dating process is a slut? Do you believe your value as a quality girlfriend depends on how much the guy spent on you before sex?
sm1tten Posted August 22, 2011 Posted August 22, 2011 (edited) I had a first date with a guy who bought us both 2 drinks each. I offered to pay for mine, he declined. I said thanks during the date, and I followed up with a text saying thanks and how I had a great time. For our second date, I bought us dinner. I also paid for most of the drinks. He didn't thank me. Pretty sure there won't be a third date. ETA: I think Star is saying that you'd be likely to get a woman who isn't above ****ing for dessert. I'd love to know how your weeding process is working out for you, actually. Edited August 22, 2011 by sm1tten
Star Gazer Posted August 22, 2011 Posted August 22, 2011 So are you saying any girl who doesn't require money to be spent on her early on in the dating process is a slut? Do you believe your value as a quality girlfriend depends on how much the guy spent on you before sex? Great way of twisting my words. Sharing a meal has been a part of the courting process for ages. I'm saying that a woman who does not require any level of courting before having sex with a man is not girlfriend material.
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