SpiralOut Posted August 19, 2011 Posted August 19, 2011 When my relationship ended earlier this year, I did not want anything to do with any guy at first. I was too busy feeling hurt, stressed out, and trying to get my life together and so on. Then an old "friend" of mine from out of town visited and we slept together. Which reminded me of the fact that I am a woman with woman-parts that feel pretty damn good But I am now missing the emotional connection that goes with a relationship. I don't know that I am ready for a relationship but I am badly craving attention. There's this one guy at work who flirts like crazy with me. I try to not encourage him and I am careful to not be TOO flirtatious myself, since I want to remain professional and and I want my coworkers to continue to respect me. Actually there is this other guy at work too that I sort of flirt with. I can't help myself. They are both so funny and I cannot resist a funny guy. The one that I would rather be with is more laid back, while the other guy that I see more often is becoming much bolder with his comments. It is nothing inappropriate really, just obvious that he's hitting on me. I don't mess around with coworkers, but these guys are stirring up feelings in me that are driving me insane. I want so badly to have someone that I can hang out with and just have a fun time and of course fool around with. I don't even want sex right now. I just want the flirting, the talking, the holding hands and falling asleep together stuff. I think about it every night and sometimes during the day when I have time to daydream. Anyway I guess I am just frustrated because I know I'm not good girlfriend material right now, so I don't want to do something stupid to hurt someone. My judgement is bad right now. when I have a crush on someone I don't know if it's me liking them or just me likign the attention they give me. Me and my ex were seriously missing an emotional connection so I am starting to feel more desperate about getting that now that I'm remembering how much fun it is. Not sure that I'm looking for advice on anything, just wanted to get that off my chest. I'm a bit worried that I might do something stupid soon. Especially with a night of drinking coming up next weekend with all my coworkers; I suspect that something might happen if I am not careful. Anyone else know what I mean?
TrueColors Posted August 20, 2011 Posted August 20, 2011 (edited) When my relationship ended earlier this year, I did not want anything to do with any guy at first. I was too busy feeling hurt, stressed out, and trying to get my life together and so on. But I am now missing the emotional connection that goes with a relationship. I don't know that I am ready for a relationship but I am badly craving attention. There's this one guy at work who flirts like crazy with me. I try to not encourage him and I am careful to not be TOO flirtatious myself, since I want to remain professional and and I want my coworkers to continue to respect me. Anyway I guess I am just frustrated because I know I'm not good girlfriend material right now, so I don't want to do something stupid to hurt someone. My judgement is bad right now. when I have a crush on someone I don't know if it's me liking them or just me likign the attention they give me. Me and my ex were seriously missing an emotional connection so I am starting to feel more desperate about getting that now that I'm remembering how much fun it is. Anyone else know what I mean? Yes, I understand completely what this feels like because I'm going through it now. Validation. We want to feel needed and desired, not just physically but emotionally too. This is very important to me as I lacked it growing up and I lacked it in my last relationship. History repeating, and all that. I've been doing a lot of soul-searching about my behavior and where my needs are coming from. Perhaps if we choose partners that lack emotional connection then we must be sending out those signals too? I know that until I sort out some lingering issues from my past, I won't be in a suitable position for a LTR, which is what I want. But OMG, the attention! It is so tempting! I have a rule too about not messing around with co-workers and right now I have someone at work who's been giving me signs that he's interested. We ended up emailing a lot at work and even he admitted missing those deeper conversations. Darn it! Have you tried online dating, specifying what it is you want? I haven't done this yet, but I know a few of my friends have, with varying results (largely negative) although one of them is set on an LTR and has put this on her profile. Edited August 20, 2011 by TrueColors
Author SpiralOut Posted August 20, 2011 Author Posted August 20, 2011 Yes, I think there's a reason why we attract people who can't connect emotionally. I had some personal issues when I first met my last boyfriend. So at first I didn't even notice or care about the lack of connection. As I began to change and realize what I wanted and needed, I saw I wasn't getting it from him and it created major problems in the relationship. Had I been more emotionally open myself, I don't think I would have started a relationship with him to begin with. I tried online dating a couple of months back. I created a profile and came across some guys that seemed cool enough to meet. For some reason I just could not bring myself to actually meet up with anyone. I think I was (and still am) in a place where I do not have the emotional energy that is needed for meeting new people. I don't have the time or energy to give to someone I don't know. I don't feel good enough about where I am right now to feel comfortable letting a stranger into my life and possibly being judged for it. I think I only feel comfortable with my coworkers because we are sort of friends already, which makes me feel safer around them. Right at the moment that I am writing this post, my one coworker (the one I like the most) has messaged me on facebook asking me how is my weekend, etc. I think he likes me. haha. And I have a funny feeling that our coworkers know that we like each other. So I guess I will just keep talking to him as friends and see what happens. I won't go out of my way to try and make something happen, but if something happens on its own then I'm not going to stop it, as foolish as that may sound. I can feel a genuine connection there.
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