confuzed25 Posted August 19, 2011 Posted August 19, 2011 My boyfriend and I have been dating 8 months. He is 28 and I am 25. We have a very loving relationship where we support each other, compliment each other daily, and say I love you very frequently and express how happy we are together and how lucky we are to have one another. We very rarely fight and when we do its more of a little argument that blows over quickly and everything is fine again. I trust him 100% because he has expressed his pure hatred for cheating and that he would never ever do it (he was cheated on in the past.) We see each other 2-3 times a week and text everyday, and talk on the phone almost everyday. Our relationship is definitely the best one ive ever had and he says the same. He tells me all the time that I am the perfect girl for him and im the best girl out there. We have talked of marriage and he says he knows im THE girl. I guess I have never had such a mature relationship and one that I am sure is headed towards long term....so im not sure if it is progressing right or not. I mean in the beginning we couldnt get enough of each other (honeymoon period.) Then after about 6 months it started to slack off....didnt see each other as often, didnt text as much, werent showering each other with affections. I know that thats a pretty normal progression of a relationship because you just cant keep the honeymoon period forever, its just too much work and you get into a comfort zone with each other. But what Im concerned about is the fact that on the days where we dont see each other we still text back and forth but its like we dont have much to say....we might say hey what are you doing and then he or I answers and says what are you up to and then we say I love you or I miss you and the conversation dies and then a couple hours later one of us might strike up another short conversation that dies out quickly and then we might not text again until its time to say good night. I feel like is it a bad thing that we dont have much to talk about? And lately within the last week and a half it seems like one or both of us is too wore out for sex....we usually end up doing it but its nothing special, usually no foreplay, just a quickie. We were never like that before...it used to be a lot of foreplay and different positions and then cuddle afterwards. In our defense we have both had very busy days at work lately and have reason to be tired. Then theres the fact that lately we just havent seen each other as much....this bothers me the most. When we first started dating he wanted to see me ALL THE TIME even if that meant driving 40 minutes to my house every chance he could get. Now its like we are lucky to see each other 2 or 3 times a week and its usually me going to his house which has always been easier anyways because he has dogs to take care of and he works every morning whereas I dont. But its the fact that he doesnt make as much of an effort anymore. And he has been hanging out with his friends a little more often too....I have not seen him in 3 days but instead of seeing me tonight like he usually would because we are both off work he asked me if it was ok if he goes to the races tonight with his buddy because he really wants to but feels bad because he knows I dont want to go. I told him that was fine, I know its important for him to spend time with his friends and dont expect him to spend every free moment with me. He said I am the absolute best and its so nice to have someone who doesnt get mad when he does something he really wants to do, and that I am the perfect girl for him and he cant put into words how much he loves me. Then he said he will come to my house the next day so we can spend time together which I told him is fine. But I still cant help but be a little offended....I would choose him over my friends especially because we have only seen each other one other time this week and he just went to the races last weekend without me because I had to work. And last night instead of making plans to see me he went out for a drink with his uncle. He still tells me everyday how incredibly much he loves me and this morning he texted me saying that im the best and he loves me. But Im just concerned about whether we are drifting apart or if this is just normal for a relationship as it progresses. Any opinions would be appreciated.
zengirl Posted August 19, 2011 Posted August 19, 2011 That could be bad, or it could be okay and just the natural little lag stage. Many relationships have the honeymoon, then a lag, then settle into a good rhythm. It really depends how long the phase you're in lasts and how it feels. A lot of times, people have to check back in with their friends after the honeymoon stage, since they neglected them during that time and let a lot of their own life go. And Personally, if it's not natural to text/talk, I don't. . . sometimes a little bit of missing someone helps keep the relationship chugging along. But I always need a good amount of face time. Is there some reason you guys can't get your friends together as well? I like to see anyone I'm dating a lot, but it doesn't always have to be 1/1 time all the time; that way you can still re-charge parts of your life but keep the relationship going (SOME 1/1 time is necessary of course!). That said, it sounds a little more blah than normal---what with the lack of sex and general connection, but really depends on how much work is stressing y'all out and how long it goes on for. Could be a bad sign, could be nothing. All depends on what happens next.
LSgirl Posted August 20, 2011 Posted August 20, 2011 wow you sound exactly like me and my boyfriend. I'm 25, he's 27. He also has to go home too to tend to his dog, I swear he gives that dog more attention than me lol We've been dating for 8 months, honeymoon is over but we're still very attracted and keep in contact daily but not as much. I dont get anymore of the "good morning beautiful" or goodnights, but i get texts/calls everyday and he hangs out with his friends a lot. i would choose him over my friends too (I used to be the clingy type of gf) and in this relationship I'm not, and now I try to make more time for friends so I keep busy, its really hard bc I'd rather be with him. It kind of sucks knowing the honeymoon period is over, it's so easy for them to get comfortable, but I still kiss him like it's the first time we've kissed. Just last night, he would have rather gone to dinner than have sex first, I'm sure bc he was hungry but he just seemed too tired, I dunno. We're happy when we're together, but he's not that romantic to begin with, but he's a great and loyal boyfriend, just not sure where this is going. At least your bf tells you he loves you, we still haven't said those words to each other because I don't think he's ready. There's periods when he contacts me a lot, and somedays he doesn't really text that much. I have to stop analyzing though because it's stressing me out. Please keep us updated on what's been going on because I'm very curious.
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