shayla Posted August 19, 2011 Posted August 19, 2011 I am so angry all the time. Angry at myself for staying too long in such a rotten relationship. Angry at myself for not leaving and staying away when I did leave. Angry for listening to his crying begging and pleadings and coming back to him repeatedly. During the entire 3 years I was with him he was lying to me, lying to others about me, cheating on me, manipulating me, and the grand finale, he begged me to not go behind his back and date someone else,all the while putting a ring on another womans finger. I will never understand why this man cried and begged me to not leave him, even though he had his "fiance." When I confronted him by email about all this, he reply to me was that I needed to "get on with my life." Strange....nah, it was what he sent me to cement the lie he told her. That we had broken up before he met her, that we had been broken up since the year before I confronted him and I just would not let him go. WOW. So we stopped seeing each other december 2009, really? Well then you won't mind me sending your fiance the pictures of your ass you sent me in may and the I love you texts and the date pictures from the end of september, yeah, the same time you were proposing to her.... He has never said another word to me since then (October 2010), except to send me a virus disguised as a condolence email after my father died in april 2011. Pathetic. Even now, he is still telling people that he broke up with me before he met that skank he married and that I was just a psycho that would not let him go. And people believe that stupid bull. He is just that good a liar. But I know that the happy mrs does not trust him and never will. She doesn't get to live in the fairlyland that says that guy is perfect and isn't a lying cheating pig. SORRY, that's my gift to you. The gift of truth. I am still so mad over this that I am hardly able to enjoy the relationship I have now (someone that as*hat knows, introduced me to very reluctantly as a matter of fact) when this man and what we have together is so fantastic. I've done all the things you do when you've been betrayed, and when you have been left. Ramped up my outside interests, went back to the gym, began doing fun things, all those things. And it has worked. But my anger flashes at least once a day and I hate that. I just want to be indifferent. That is what I want more than anything else.
Bito Posted August 19, 2011 Posted August 19, 2011 I feel your pain. I have so much anger and sadness in my heart as well. Being betrayed and lied to is difficult to overcome. I'm only 3 months out still... Take solice in the fact that your not in the other womans shoes. She is with a cheater and a liar, not you. Have you been to counsiling?
Author shayla Posted August 19, 2011 Author Posted August 19, 2011 Thank you for your reply. I have been to counseling and my therapist keeps telling me that I should be grateful and I am. I got closure. Because of my confronting the other woman, I was able to find out that the two of them have the same fights we had, and that he is telling the same lies to her that he told me. I know that she realizes I'm telling the truth about his and my relationship and that her actions since then show that she has no trust in him, and that his "no contact" with me, to even apologize for his effed up behavior, was one of the conditions of her marrying him. He had no problem throwing me under the bus. that's ok, just quit lying about me. I hate lying. I hate liars, and I especially hate those that tell lies about me....and he is still doing that and it infuriates me. And the cheap shot after losing my dad makes me want to hurt him.
bestrong Posted August 19, 2011 Posted August 19, 2011 Be glad you aren't the fiancé. Regardless of what he says to others, he is the one who has to live up with these lies for the rest of his life. Be glad that you, no longer have to deal with his crap and that there is a loving person for you somewhere out there. It is going to be 23 months since my ex and I broke up, I am no where closed to fully recovered. But I have been telling myself I need to move on because I deserve someone who treats me with respect and love. Guess what, I have been talking to someone and it makes me feel good about myself ( even though nothing is gonna happen )
Author shayla Posted August 20, 2011 Author Posted August 20, 2011 It's true that we all deserve love and respect and not lies and foolishness. I am very grateful that I have that now and don't have to endure a marriage full of manipulation and infidelity. I have a great man in my life now and it's time to put that chapter of my life behind me.
Denillad Posted August 20, 2011 Posted August 20, 2011 (edited) Hi Shayla!! I am struggling with those feelings too. I think my ex lied about when he met n start dating his new gf. I think he may have cheated on me with her and then cheated with me for months till i grew tired of it. This guy was telling me how he thinks of getting me pregnant and us having a child while he was living with this girl. I bought all thought. It was hard to see i was no longer in a relationship with him. Im was the secret, who knows what he told her about me. I will never let this man back in my life again and i hope i can heal. I really need to figure this out cause i need be as happy, as a matter a fact happier that i think he is. Why do we keep ourselves like this while they live their lives. Be strong and try to focus on urself and your new future. Edited August 20, 2011 by Denillad
Author shayla Posted August 28, 2011 Author Posted August 28, 2011 Denillad, I went through all that too. I kept asking him why he was acting like I was a mistress. He kept saying it would get better When I got fed up I'd leave him. Then he would call me, text me, IM me, show up at my door crying and begging until I'd give in and go back to him..all the while he was conducting an entire relationship with another woman. I will never understand why he acted this way. When all was said and done, he expected me to be exclusive, while he was dating, meeting, and planning to marry another woman. I get angry every day about this. He could have just told me about her and I would have left years ago, but no. He purposely strung me along for God knows why.
Jdw_Icequeen Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 When your together with a person long enough it takes longer to get over them. Mix the it with all the horrible things he has done to you and it makes sense why your still so upset and having trouble trusting the new person your with.. I also have trouble trusting people because of my past and letting my guard down. I'm really sorry that happend being left like that and treated like that is disgusting. You have every right to be angry for all the bs he put you through. From everything you learned you know he is nothing but a worthless excuse of a person. That is one thing you need to remind yourself is to be happy that you didn't get stuck with him. I see you as the winner in this situation and you could almost feel sorry for his new wife. Just imagine what is going to happen to that relationship with all his lying and cheating and be glad it wasn't you. He will get bored and move on to the next peice of @ss guys like that rarley change. Why did he keep you on the side? I'm sure he did care about you but he was probably keeping you as a backup plan. Picking and choosing who he wanted, having his cake and eating it too. He is a douche bag!! I have met my fair share of douche bags.. I truly beleive that not all guys or people for that matter are bad people. You will find your prince charming as long as you are patient and don't just skip from one person to the next like some people do. To get to your prince somtimes you have to kiss alot of frogs.. Good luck to you
Freesia120 Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 (edited) I keep getting mad at myself every now and again Edited August 29, 2011 by Freesia120
reimeivn Posted August 29, 2011 Posted August 29, 2011 your past relationship is complicated. it would take a lot of time not to get over him but to get over the messed up relationship you have. so dont be too hard on yourself. some people take up to a life time to solve some of their problems. i think when you have another bf you will be just fine and will really understand that he was just a bad person. nothing complicated.
Author shayla Posted August 29, 2011 Author Posted August 29, 2011 I do not believe for a second that the other woman didn't know about me. Her husband had died a month and a half before she got involved with my ex and was so desperate for a man, she stayed and hoped he'd choose her. She got her wish but she gets to endure his lies and being cheated on before getting married. She gets to worry about where he is at night, I've gotten many hang up calls since they got married. After the email incident, my current boyfriend called my ex and told him to not send me anything else ever. At the point, ex tried to tell him the same lie, which he promptly shut down. After that conversation, he has been on Facebook talking about how much he looooooves his wiiiife...yeah okay, you are Facebook happy and you cannot stand that someone you tried to ruin is actually happy with one of your frenemies. Sorry hun, I will no longer read or be hurt by your pathetic Facebook status updates, you are damn near 60 for Christs sake. Let bygones be bygones, you can go on and get the hell on, you and the ugly skank you married.
Author shayla Posted September 3, 2011 Author Posted September 3, 2011 It looks like I have come farther than I thought I had. I saw my ex today for the first time since all of this happened, almost a year ago. I thought all this time I'd be crushed, or run away and dissolve in tears, or embarass myself in some way. My car needs a major repair, so my boyfriend gave me a ride to the grocery store. As we were walking toward the store, I saw him standing near the entrance. I looked at him, he looked at me, I felt absolutely nothing. He continued to look at us as I walked past him looking straight ahead like I'd seen nothing. My boyfriend put his arm around me after we got inside the store and said, "I told you that when the time came you wouldn't feel anything. " He grabbed a shopping cart and kissed me on the cheek. Ahhhhhh, that felt sooooo good.
Sugarkane Posted September 4, 2011 Posted September 4, 2011 Shayla I totally envy you. I want nothing more than for my ex to see me happy with someone else. But it still hasn't happened. I would chop off my right arm for that opportunity.
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