welsh20 Posted August 19, 2011 Posted August 19, 2011 I'm starting to creep into a situation that could potentially get quite complicated and I felt like I needed to talk to people. I'm 20 and I've been with my current boyfriend for just a month. I've knew him from high school and after around 5 years of not seeing him he asked to meet for a drink etc so I obliged and things sort of just went from there. It was easy and simple to fall into. We're happy, but he does have tendencies that irritate me already (such as being unemployed and making no effort to find a job, and being massively in debt). He's also become very full-on very quickly, which I'm weary of seeing as I've had the same problem with previous partners in the past. So that's a bit about my relationship. The problem is that there's another guy, Mr X. I've been talking to Mr X for a couple of months now, and whilst things began as friendly conversation, things have started to develop and, guiltily, I've started feeling for him. Mr X is a few years older than I am, works in law, is attractive and is exactly what I would label my "type". I've kept an eye on our friendship from the beginning because I felt it was dangerous territory for my relationship, determined to not fall for Mr X and to keep things on a friends-only level. So far I have, I'm not one to cheat, never have; but that doesn't stop me feeling really guilty over my feelings for Mr X, and, as admitted by him, his feelings for me. It's still early days, so who knows, things in the future could potentially not even pan out with Mr X, but right now I'm stuck wondering if I'm in a relationship with the wrong person. The answer to me seems obvious but I feel so guilty and awful for thinking it, even if my current relationship is still in it's early days and not too developed yet. I hate hurting people
dasein Posted August 19, 2011 Posted August 19, 2011 Regardless of the short length of time, you are cheating on your current BF. Break up with him first, and then you will be free to pursue X with a clear conscience.
Professor X Posted August 19, 2011 Posted August 19, 2011 I'm 20 and I've been with my current boyfriend for just a month. I'm sorry, but this is not a RS, a mere month is just... nothing really and if you're already looking sideways (mr. x) than you better just finish this "dating" you got with the current guy you're seeing and move on to mr. x. P.S. Some things in your story don't quite sit well with me: You haven't seen him for 5 years, meaning you were 15 when you last saw each other, but you've known him since HS? Unless it's some JHS+HS mix it means you've really never knew him. Also, you're emotionally cheating on your current guy (since you do consider it a RS than it is cheating what you're doing now). tl;dr - dump your current guy, only a mere month and already such a mess.
somedude81 Posted August 19, 2011 Posted August 19, 2011 I've you're already having doubts about your current relationship, just end it. Don't cheat with Mr. X while you still have a boyfriend. It's OK to be single for a while before you go to the next guy.
Author welsh20 Posted August 19, 2011 Author Posted August 19, 2011 Professor X, I agree that it's still really early days. My point was I don't like causing hurt, and for just a mere month the boyfriend seems very involved with the idea of a relationship, and in far deeper than I am. To you or anyone else it might seem like a month is nothing, but to my boyfriend he's already mentioning living together which I've obviously disagreed with, but clearly he's very forward which is why I'm so apprehensive about potentially ending the relationship. And I'm from the UK, here in the UK we don't have Junior High, just High School from Age 11-16/18. What I meant was I knew him from 11-15 then he left so I hadn't properly seen him for the 5 years following then.
Professor X Posted August 19, 2011 Posted August 19, 2011 (edited) Professor X, I agree that it's still really early days. My point was I don't like causing hurt, and for just a mere month the boyfriend seems very involved with the idea of a relationship, and in far deeper than I am. To you or anyone else it might seem like a month is nothing, but to my boyfriend he's already mentioning living together which I've obviously disagreed with, but clearly he's very forward which is why I'm so apprehensive about potentially ending the relationship. It doesn't matter what your BF thinks because a month is a month and it still is nothing really. How many times have you actually seen each others? How many hours in total? Point remains and in a month you've already managed to fall for someone else, so what's your point really? You think you're doing him a favor by staying? Oh please! Get off your high horse, you're just causing him future pain once he realizes your heart was with someone else. The truth is, the longer you string him along, the more pain you will cause him eventually - is it so hard to see?? Besides, RS requires TWO people wanting each other, not just one. You are clearly not into him. P.S. You were talking about him, him, him and him, what about you? What about what you want? Do you think you're really in a RS with him? Would you like it if a guy you really liked did the same thing to you? Edited August 19, 2011 by Professor X
thatone Posted August 19, 2011 Posted August 19, 2011 i think you should offer to let jobless guy move in with you and sleep on your couch in his drawers all day while you go to work. furthermore you should pay off all of his debt, buy him a car, and tell him how many blowjobs you wanna give him every day, 3 day wife beater and boxers be damned. because refusal to leave people who can't take care of themselves is what that leads to, so you might as well get it over with.
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