waliz Posted August 19, 2011 Posted August 19, 2011 I was with m y boyfriend 5 years. 2 years ago we bought a house. He came back from a recent trip and told me we need to "have a lot of conversations about our relationship". Four days of talking and good times later we're done. That (*&^ing man tells me he didn't want to move intogether but was coerced, he's never liked our relationship but was afraid to break up. But now he's done. He ways 100 pounds more than me- what was he afraid of. I thought we had a commitment. He didn't even have the guts to break up with me directly- he forced me to ask if he wanted me to move out. I'm not getting younger. At 48 this is the first time I have ever lived by myself and I don't want to. (I had a daughter live with me through college). I want my five years back. I want my 43 year old face, not my 48 year old face. I don't want to be two years away from 50 and single. I have divorced two men- this was supposed to be my "forever guy". I have never been "dumped" maybe its just my time. I don't have many friends- and I have no idea how to get them. I'm still in the house we bought and he's trying to be helpful, but I know he's doing it just to avoid his own guilt. I am so mad that I have to move (he bought the house). I have break downs where I just cry "I don't want to do this". Good thing I have an office at work.I liked our life together, I want it back. I can list a ton of things that are wrong with him, but frankly, I would live with all of them if I could just stay. I need support.
SugarLily Posted August 19, 2011 Posted August 19, 2011 Honey - I am so, so sorry you are going through this. This guy sounds like a spineless little twat. 48 isn't old at all! You still have so much to look forward to! The important thing now is to understand that you need to priotise yourself. Be selfish. You need to really think about what you want from life. What is going to make you happy? Start looking after yourself - exercise everyday, eat healthily, take vitamins and fish oil. This wanker has actually given you an opportunity. An opportunity to re-evaluate your life. Where do you want to live? What job do you want to take? What hobbies and interests do you have that you can pursue further? You don't want to be with someone who doesn't know how precious you are. I promise that the new life you build for yourself is going to be so much more satisfying than your old life with that loser. This guy is not the right one for you. I promise that you will be happier without him. I know that you feel like you've 'lost 5 years' - but isn't it better to find out now, than in 10 years time? That guy was in your life for a reason - but he's not in your future. You are a beautiful person, and I promise that you will feel happier than you ever have before in the future. You haven't 'peaked' yet. This is a new chapter of your life - and it's happening for a reason. This is your opportunity for adventure. Sending you loads of love x x x
dreamingoftigers Posted August 19, 2011 Posted August 19, 2011 So he's a conflict-avoidant dumbass. We all get together with at least one in our lives. And we all want our time back. Crap. Sounds like he was stupid on his trip too. Nice. Well being dumped sure sucks but it isn't the end of the road yet.
CopingGal Posted August 19, 2011 Posted August 19, 2011 My friend got married at 55 and she is happy. I experienced real love for the first time in my early 40's. I'm not 45. I wish I was younger, but I'm okay with my age. I have a lot more things to experience in life. I've never been married before and I want to be. Not all older men go for young women. Just do things to make yourself feel good about yourself. I have lots of gray hair. I wish I could dye it, but I have no extra money. So today I'm wearing a very pretty pink ribbon! My hair looks pretty! Honor yourself!
just_scott Posted August 19, 2011 Posted August 19, 2011 those 5years you're wanting back those years are gone and over with nothing can bring them back no matter what you do , all you can do is move on and make the next years of your life the best they can be wheater it's you being alone or getting into a new relationship and not making mistakes from your past relationship , theirs no time machine to go back and correct things , theirs no machine for you to go back in time in to re make decissions you've made that got you here today it's just life you move on do for yourself and be happy IF soeone comes along and you want to share your life with them make sure they want to share their life withyou
Author waliz Posted August 20, 2011 Author Posted August 20, 2011 I keep crying. I hate the feeling of being dumped. I want a do-over, but I have had those and he's done. We still live together and its hard. I know I'll move on, but right now I just keep crying. I don't want to live alone, and I don't want to be without him. Intellectually I know its best- today isn't intellect day- its emotions and crying.
just_scott Posted August 20, 2011 Posted August 20, 2011 after you live with someone for a period of time and your always around them you'll be looking for alone time /space if you don't want to ''live alone'' get a roomate [a good friend of the same sex] or get a dog
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