tonyp56 Posted August 19, 2011 Posted August 19, 2011 (edited) OK, long story short, GF is a long time friend, ex wife of child hood friend who got divorced 6 years ago. We were always friends but until last September 27 I thought I was the only one who had feelings. On that day she kissed me and it has been a little bit of a bumpy ride. OK, back when she first kissed me I had a gf at the time, I broke up with her, and around this time for many reasons (ex gf caused a lot of grief) we didn't see each other from October 10th until Feb 27th. When we did we started dating but because of her ex husband, her kids, and the fact that it put a strain between me and them, we didn't date in the open or around her kids (which is ok with me) Things were going good, but suddenly gf pulled away and closed off and we went from 4-13 until last night (8-17) without seeing each other. We texted a few times here and there but didn't talk and didn't see each other that whole time. When GF first pulled away from me back in April, I felt then and all along that she had gotten scared, that she started wanting me more and more and because of that started thinking about all (she had been independent pretty much throughout her marriage to her ex, he never worked, and she has been on her own since thier divorce) so her independence/freedom, fighting with her ex over it, how to deal with kids, etc... In other words she started thinking about everything and it scared her and she ran. Last night we talked, really talked, and I found out I was right, about everything (without me telling her how I felt yet!) She said that she was stupid so stupid and that she don't know why she did what she did. She told me she still had feelings for me etc... Night before last i had sent her a text message that i had went on a date and that the woman had gotten naked and that I had gone home (without having sex!). After this she really opened up to me and wanted to see each other to talk (before this she wouldn't) Come to find out while we were apart, she had gone on a date and she did have sex with them. However, she couldn't stop thinking about me this whole time and even though she was with someone else, I was who was on her mind. When she told me, odly, it didn't bother me, I guess because I felt that this had made her realize who she really wanted to be with. Anyways, how do I deal with her being/getting scared? I've told her from the get go I don't want to take her freedom or her independence, I simply want to see and be around her as much as possible and for us to share and work together for common good between the two of us. I think I've proven I'm patient and willing to do anything, I mean almost 5 months before and just over 4 months this last time without no real contact, unless you call hand full of short text messages contact. I love her, have for many years, and STILL love her and want to be with her. I just think she has some fear issues, she's afraid of lots of different things, none of them really real. I've asked her to come to me and we'd work through them together. Anyways, any advice? Edited August 19, 2011 by tonyp56
thatone Posted August 19, 2011 Posted August 19, 2011 jealous, indecisive, manipulative. she'll make as good an ex wife for you as she did for your buddy.
Author tonyp56 Posted August 19, 2011 Author Posted August 19, 2011 jealous, indecisive, manipulative. she'll make as good an ex wife for you as she did for your buddy. Well, I don't really believe that, for one, I know from both sides why they got divorced and it isn't from that, her ex (from his own accord) treated her like ****, didn't work, etc. so she didn't do anything wrong there and he ran out and got with someone else that he wanted a threesome with her and him! Anyways, if you believe that, why? I'll listen, but why you think that? I agree she is indecisive but she has reasons, real reasons I understand. Manipulative? I don't think so, you've got to know, I've been the one chasing her based on NOTHING from her telling me to do it. Jealous? I guess me telling her I could have gotten with someone else made her feel that way but couldn't it have woke her up? I just don't agree and guess I'm looking for more than two lines. I've made up my mind, I can't help but to love her and I want to be with her.
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