Casablanca Posted August 19, 2011 Posted August 19, 2011 This might seem odd, but over the last year I've really lost a lot of that excitement I would get from getting a number or having a first date and I pretty much never tell any of my friends that I got a number or have a date like I use to...why? Well, because so many of them have turned to into nothing when looking promising...let's examine the most recent. Last week had a date with a girl I met online, went well, she responded definitely when I suggested going out again, not just a avoid awkwardness "yeah", but felt like a very interested statement. We talk on Tuesday, set plans of a day and idea for next date, but nothing concrete. Yesterday I texted her asking how the basketball game she went to was, heard nothing no biggie, and today I called her and left a message about finalizing our plans for Saturday...nothing from her since (6 hrs ago)...so unless she contacts me , I'm finished there (2 in a row with no response is my limit) Last weekend I also got a number at a wedding, maybe we only hit it off because she was tipsy...We played a little phone tag, but texted a little bit, called her yesterday (no answer) and today (no answer), left a message today, my guess is probably won't hear from her again...it's not hard to send a quick text So yeah, this is just a bitter post based on the last couple days, but I've been feeling this way over the last year. Last year met an amazing woman at a party, we talked most of the night, got her number, we texted and talked for hours over the next week, had a date, I thought it went amazing, lots of laughter and conversation and it lasted for long time. After that, never heard from her again...that IMO was the best first date (better than ones that led to relationships) I ever had and I never heard from her again....I don't think my attitude has effected anything b/c I'm still excited to talk with the girl and have a date...I've had two relationships since then too, so I've had success But I just find it best to be cautiously optimistic and not tell my friends that way I dont have to explain if it doesnt work out nor have any huge disappointment. Anyone else like this?
Star Gazer Posted August 19, 2011 Posted August 19, 2011 But I just find it best to be cautiously optimistic and not tell my friends that way I dont have to explain if it doesnt work out nor have any huge disappointment. Anyone else like this? Yes!!! That's so me! I will tell a girlfriend or two that I have a date only if she asks to hang out on a day when I already have date-plans, in part because I want to avoid the post-date rolling of the eyes when asked how it went. Although, many of the run-downs do make for hysterical happy hour fodder...
Cypress25 Posted August 19, 2011 Posted August 19, 2011 I never tell anyone about my love life unless I have a boyfriend and my friends might meet him. Like "Is it OK if I bring my boyfriend to your party this weekend?" And then my friend would be like "Oh, you have a boyfriend?" Unless Facebook already told them, that is. I just don't feel the need to give people constant updates about my life. Then I'd have people constantly asking for updates every step of the way, and I'd rather not have to report any failures to my friends or family. You know, questions like "How did the date go?" or "How did the job interview go?" I hate those questions. I prefer to wait until I have good news to report.
Mrlonelyone Posted August 19, 2011 Posted August 19, 2011 If your going on allot of dates that's normal. It can wear you down and make it feel less special. Kind of like, if you don't have seafood every day, getting sea food is a treat. If you have it all the time it's just eating.
Sanman Posted August 19, 2011 Posted August 19, 2011 Honestly, prior to meeting my gf I had really lost my taste for dating. At this age with so many women looking for relationships, women seem to come and go quite frequently. I don't really have a problem pulling one. I didn't really get excited until I was more in the relationship aspect as that is what I was missing. With so many things that can go wrong in the dating phase, I just find it hard to get excited over what would be another girl to chit chat with and do the first date dance. I have honestly preferred slightly LDR relationships recently as I get to talk and really know the person rather than the time consuming dating dance that seldom leads anywhere.
Flipper Posted August 19, 2011 Posted August 19, 2011 Last week had a date with a girl I met online Girls worth being with aren't met online. In my experience, people who have their head on straight, are able to love others, etc. are the ones that fall in love when they are young (in their 20's) and get married while the rest paddle around on worthless dates that go nowhere the rest of their lives... Of course there are exceptions, however maybe you just don't have it in you to make a sucessful relationship with a girl and you are just now subconsciously (or consciously) realizing it? I'm not saying this is the case, and even if it were you could change it, however as some people become more experienced in dating they often lose hope for reasons such as this. Also, confidence is key... pretty much nothing is more important than confidence
sm1tten Posted August 20, 2011 Posted August 20, 2011 Yes!!! That's so me! I will tell a girlfriend or two that I have a date only if she asks to hang out on a day when I already have date-plans, in part because I want to avoid the post-date rolling of the eyes when asked how it went. Although, many of the run-downs do make for hysterical happy hour fodder... This is also me right now. I think I'm also a little tired of the merry-go-round; it seems like every time I come back to the dating scene the selection is worse. I will occasionally query a friend for outside advice, and I'm not totally jaded, but I'm definitely not as excited as I have been in the past.
phineas Posted August 20, 2011 Posted August 20, 2011 Number means nothing. I've had women give me their number then double check multiple times during the night that I got their number then remind me to call them. I call them, leave a message & they don't call back. Whatever. Getting a number isn't hard & if I gotta chase a chick she either isn't interested or playing hard to get so why waste my time calling again?
thatone Posted August 20, 2011 Posted August 20, 2011 In my experience, people who have their head on straight, are able to love others, etc. are the ones that fall in love when they are young (in their 20's) and get married while the rest paddle around on worthless dates that go nowhere the rest of their lives... my current gf has changed that opinion for the worse, honestly. and i agree. she was engaged in her mid 20s, the guy was in the army and got killed in iraq. when we first met she restored a bit of my faith in there being normal single people in their 30s, but after hearing the story of her past not really. if it weren't for the fiance getting killed she'd be happily married now. and i don't really exclude myself from that. didn't really have a normal childhood or early 20s so it took me until my late 20s/early 30s to figure it all out.
Author Casablanca Posted August 21, 2011 Author Posted August 21, 2011 Girls worth being with aren't met online. In my experience, people who have their head on straight, are able to love others, etc. are the ones that fall in love when they are young (in their 20's) and get married while the rest paddle around on worthless dates that go nowhere the rest of their lives... Of course there are exceptions, however maybe you just don't have it in you to make a sucessful relationship with a girl and you are just now subconsciously (or consciously) realizing it? I'm not saying this is the case, and even if it were you could change it, however as some people become more experienced in dating they often lose hope for reasons such as this. Also, confidence is key... pretty much nothing is more important than confidence I stay pretty confident when talking to women....I just stay cautiously optimistic, and quality women can be found online. I know 3 different couples who have met online and are getting married (or are already married). Online is just another place to meet women. She actually called me yesterday to let me know she wasn't interested in seeing anyone because of med school getting tough...I semi believe it, she didnt have to do it, and in the least she was mature enough to let me know instead of just ignoring me even if it was sugar coated, it actually gave me hope that I am going after decent women! And I would say I have what it takes for a relationship, so I'm just gonna pretend I didnt see that middle paragraph
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